The Denver Broncos are at the stage in their preseason where they get to pick on the rookies. This can come in many different ways, like carry pads or bringing veterans water, but on Tuesday they gave out some hideous haircuts, as is their tradition.
As SB Nation’s official barber, I will evaluate these cuts on a scale of 1-10.
There didn’t appear to be any method to the madness on this particular cut except to give the worst looking mullet possible. In baseball circles, this might be considered a tragedy since the player lost a substantial amount of what they refer to as “salad.”
Rating: 4/10 because it looks like those haircuts might not be all that much worse than the ones they previously had.
Garett Bolles’ cut isn’t great, but based on what’s left of what was there, it looks like his original haircut might not have been all that great.
Rating: 6/10. Find a better barber when your shit grows back.
Alright this is just unfortunate.
Rating: 2/10. It speaks for itself. Get yourself a hat, pleighboi.
Next, Brendan Langley was allowed to keep his hairline, while having a trio of strips in the back of his head. He was more fortunate than most in being able to keep his hairline, making this one of the better cuts, even if it is a unique design.
Rating: 7/10. He’ll be able to recover faster than most.
This is another instance in which the recipient is going to be able to recover nicely. We’ve got another hairline intact, and given a week or two, this can be fixed into a normal haircut. As is, it’s one of the better ones, kinda like Ronaldo’s haircut back in the day.
Rating: 7/10. He can live with it, and the cut is clean.
We got us a checkerboard of sorts, folks.
Rating: 2/10. They did my man dirty.
Rating: 15/10 because Tebow wore 15 for the Broncos and this is just hilarious.
Next we have Jake Butt. Fellow tight end Jeff Heuerman gave him a fresh Ohio State cut, since Mr. Butt went to Michigan. As if getting a bad cut weren’t enough, he got his most hated rival’s logo on his head.
Rating: 30.27/10 because Michigan lost to Ohio State 30-27.
Tyrique Jarrett appears to have avoided having his head full of perfect dreadlocks cut.
Tyrique Jarrett wants no part of this. pic.twitter.com/X76Qq7QOdk— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) August 22, 2017
Rating: 10/10 for escaping the BS. Good job, rook.
If you’re a Broncos player reading this post and you need a real cut in a couple weeks, hit me on Twitter @harrylylesjr