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What if the NFL adopted XFL jersey rules for a week?

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If MLB can do it, so can the NFL.

The NFL has finally decided to take advice from Aaron Rodgers and R-E-L-A-X. Certain celebrations are now allowed, gloriously flag free. Personalized pregame cleats won’t get a player fined, so long as they’re not offensive. "My Cleats, My Cause" week, when players can wear custom game cleats to show support for charitable causes, will be back for another year.

Although the NFL has taken baby steps in the fun department, there’s one thing it hasn’t allowed yet: XFL-style jerseys. But for the next few days, Major League Baseball will during its inaugural Players Weekend. Players for all 30 MLB teams — minus a few party poopers — will wear jerseys with their nicknames on the back, along with other uniform tweaks like colorful hats and batting gloves that will later be auctioned off for charity.

The NFL should follow suit and declare its own Players Weekend. Sure, no one is ever going to top He Hate Me, but the league isn’t short on players with creative nicknames, and it’d give the players another rare chance to let their individuality flow. Shoot, you might even learn a nickname or two that you didn’t know about.

Here are some jerseys you could expect to see — and some you may not — if the NFL ever decided to pay homage to the gone, but not forgotten, XFL.

Nicknames we know and love

You’re all familiar with these nicknames — and they’d look baller on the back of a jersey.

Marshawn Lynch - Beast Mode

So iconic, it’s trademarked. It’s good to have him back.

Julio Jones - Jet

Jones has gotten really into his “Jet” nickname. A quick scan of Jones’ Twitter account reveals that he’s even started his own hashtag, #JetLife, to celebrate the name. His new line of apparel is centered around his Jet persona, too. There’s no question that Jones would jump at the chance to show off his nickname during a game, too.

Odell Beckham Jr. - OBJ or ODB

OK, so it’s time to decide once and for all which it is. Pick one, man!

DeAndre Hopkins - Nuk

Nowadays this might make some folks a little uneasy, but there’s an innocent origin story behind the nickname: Hopkins’ mom gave it to him when he was a baby because “NUK” was the only brand of pacifier he would use.

Teddy Bridgewater - Gump

Bridgewater’s nickname began in high school as a reference to Forrest Gump, a movie that somehow beat out The Shawshank Redemption, Pulp Fiction, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for Best Picture in 1994. But it soon became an acronym:

Honestly, we just want Teddy’s knee to fully heal so he can “Run, Forrest, run” again.

Colin Kaepernick - Kap

We know Kaepernick isn’t currently on a team — for non-football reasons — but hopefully he would be by the time this theoretical weekend happens. And then he can reshare this important public service announcement:

It’s Kap, not Kaep. KAP KAP KAP KAP KAP.

Charlie Whitehurst - Clipboard Jesus

Whitehurst is another quarterback who is currently not on a roster — for football reasons, though. Whitehurst’s long brown hair has drawn comparisons to Jesus, and the clipboard he holds as a permanent backup just makes it even better. We hope some team would sign him, solely because we want to see this nickname stitched on an official NFL jersey.

Doug Martin - Muscle Hamster

Martin hates this nickname, which is a shame because it’s an all-timer. As long as the XFL game isn’t one of the first three this season — he’s suspended after violating the league’s substance abuse policy — he’d have the opportunity to make “Muscle Hamster” one of the top-selling jerseys in league history.

Nicknames we have never heard anyone use

Would anyone still recognize these players if they donned a jersey with an obscure nickname on it? (The answer is yes. They’re all very famous, or in the case of Ryan Fitzpatrick, quasi-famous.)

Tom Brady - The Pharaoh

You may know him as Tom Terrific, or Touchdown Tom, or TB12, or The GOAT. But his former teammate Brandon Spikes called Brady “The Pharaoh.” Pharaohs ran ancient Egypt, and Brady pretty much runs the NFL, so it fits — even if no one else ever uses it.

J.J. Watt - The Milkman

J.J. — short for “Justin James” — is itself a nickname. How many does one man need?

Apparently three, one for each Defensive Player of the Year awards he has.

Dak Prescott - The Fortress

We thought Dak was the only nickname Prescott had, but according to Pro Football Reference, “The Fortress” is another.

It’s kind of a strange moniker for a quarterback — “fortress” would seem to fit the Cowboys’ OL better. But Dak set so many rookie records that we’ll allow it

Ryan Fitzpatrick - The Amish Rifle

We know him better as Fitzmagic, but it would seem Fitzpatrick committed the ultimate faux pas of nicknaming himself years ago. He isn’t Amish, but he’s got the kind of facial hair that would fit right in in Pennsylvania Dutch Country.

HBO - Hard Knocks

After last year’s six-interception game with the Jets, he probably considered moving to a small farm community where there are no televisions or internet.

Nicknames players SHOULD have

As far as we know, no one actually calls these players any of the following names. That’s not going to stop us from recommending a few that would give these baseball players a run for their money.

Jay Cutler - Jay Buttler

I mean ...

Chad Henne - Hennessy

Henne’s about to get some serious burn in Jacksonville. His name sounds like the abbreviated version of the beautiful cognac that is Hennessy. Perhaps if his name was spelled “Henny” like the drink, he’d be a better quarterback.

Blake Bortles - Bortles & James

Just like the famous wine cooler, Bortles is a watered-down mistake trying to act like the genuine artifact.

But let’s face it: No matter who’s under center in Jacksonville, he’s going to drive Jags fans to drink.

Tom Savage - Cameron Poe

Or Castor Troy. Or Stanley Goodspeed. Or H.I. McDunnough, if you’re only into good films.

Guy looks like Nicolas Cage is what I’m trying to say.

Khalil Mack - Mack Truck

This one is a little on the nose, but hey, he hits like a Mack Truck and has the endorsement deal all locked up.

Jake Butt - James Anus

It’s tough to improve on perfection. At the very least, it would be a good name for checking into foreign hotels.

Bryce Petty - Petty Wap

We don’t think this is what anyone calls the Jets’ (first? second? third-string?) quarterback, but everyone totally should. Petty agrees: It’s what he said he’d want on the back of his jersey during a Players Weekend:

It's #PlayersWeekend across @MLB so we asked our guys what nicknames they'd put on their jerseys.

A post shared by New York Jets (@nyjets) on

The Jets won’t be any good this year, but at least they’ve nailed their nicknames.