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Baylor’s robotic tackling dummy lost a race and then obliterated a coach

The machines always win.

Baylor has a robotic tackling dummy that it uses during practices. These intelligent lifeforms, which are definitely not going to one day band together and take over the planet we’re all living on, are great for certain football drills. They can also move at a good rate of speed. So Baylor had the dummy race against a staff member. It went OK for the human ... until the dummy, as robots always do, got the last laugh.

That’s Baylor’s football operations associate AD, Sean Padden, racing the machine. Padden wins easily, owing to a strong start off the blocks. The robot was incapable of getting out of his stance as quickly as the human, and Padden cruised to victory. But the robot really wins by virtue of body-slamming Padden instantly.

Padden was unsuspecting, but at least one colleague knew what was coming. A still from just before the pivotal moment of impact:

And then this:

The end zone angle is even more haunting:

Padden was a good soldier. His remarks afterward:

“I just wanna say that it was man versus machine. And I think back to Sarah Connor versus the Terminator, Garry Kasparov versus Big Blue, Ken Jennings versus Watson, John Henry versus that steam engine,” Padden said. I think it was Deep Blue? Anyway, that’s fine, because Padden’s goals here were noble.

“And I did it for humanity. And if anybody — that’s a warning out there, because the machines aren’t gonna fight fair, and we better be ready.”