Star Lotulelei and Individual You Cannot Trust To Be Around When Asleep Ben Boulware were asked by reporters about their respective beards, compiled in this video the Panthers posted on Monday.
Battle of the Beards: Lotulelei vs Boulware pic.twitter.com/bBh4Xgis6y— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) August 7, 2017
There are both pros and cons to each beard, as Lotulelei and Boulware explained above, and we’ll go through those for you.
Star Lotulelei’s beard
- Age: unknown
- Better length than Boulware’s, per himself
- Gets a trim every couple of weeks
- Did not admit to needing beard oil like Boulware did
- Might be scaring off high school kids
Ben Boulware’s beard
- Age: 1 year, 8 months
- It’s “alright,” per Lotulelei
- Allegedly has more character
- Thicker than Lotulelei’s
- Beard makes him “probably one of the hottest ugly guys on the team,” per himself
- It won a national championship (don’t ask him to shave it)
The winner: Star Lotulelei’s beard
You can’t just come into an NFL training camp and claim beard supremacy when your beard is shorter, and the maintenance is lacking because of no admitted consistent trim, and a need for beard oil.
It’s obvious that Lotulelei is the veteran to the beard game. He might have to show the rookie a thing or two for upkeep, especially if he’s using his beard as a way to mask his ugliness.
Both beards are objectively good, and their efforts to continue the NFL’s lineage of good beards is appreciated.