Thursday update: The complete story about the locker room “fight” has come out, and the facts are a little bit different from what we all believed on Monday. Here’s the full story.
There are occasionally moments so ridiculous, so ludicrous, so unbelievable, that it turns Twitter into a feeding frenzy for any and every joke that could possibly be made. Monday night was that. If you missed it, I am truly sorry for you.
To sum up what happened in one paragraph: Chris Paul, in his return to Los Angeles, got mad at Blake Griffin for elbowing his coach and at Austin Rivers for talking shit to Trevor Ariza, and so Paul, Ariza, and James Harden attempted to enter the Clippers locker room through a “secret” backdoor tunnel while sending Clint Capela to the front door as a decoy, which led to the cops getting called and probably suspensions despite no physical altercations actually happening between the two sides. I swear to everything that it happened just like that. Here’s a much more elaborate recap, but that’s the gist.
The shenanigans and tomfoolery happening at Staples Center paled in comparison to the Twitter moment that happened over those two or three hours. You can never relive it — it’s impossible to duplicate being in the moment — but we compiled the best tweets from the evening.
THE BEST THREE
The incredible thing about this tweet is that it was sitting there for nearly an hour before someone finally thought to send it. I’m so mad I didn’t think of it. But I’m glad it was Seerat, an SB Nation contributor and an NBA must follow.
Congratulations to Chris Paul on actually leading a team somewhere
— Seerat Sohi (@DamianTrillard) January 16, 2018
I’m equally upset I didn’t send this tweet, which is just perfectly constructed.
CORRECTION: Chris Paul hid in a dining cart as Trevor Ariza, wearing a security uniform and fake mustache, wheeled him into the Clippers locker room
— Pablo S. Torre (@PabloTorre) January 16, 2018
And this is the best damn gif recap of the entire thing, period.
NBA twitter last night pic.twitter.com/SAIxqc75Wv
— SB Nation (@SBNation) January 16, 2018
WHAT PLAYERS SENT
Please, J.J.
I feel like I need to do an emergency pod explaining the schematics of the Staples Center locker rooms
— JJ Redick (@JJRedick) January 16, 2018
Here are a couple Clippers weighing in.
It’s a different culture in LA. No more soft shit here!!!!!
— Patrick Beverley (@patbev21) January 16, 2018
— Blake Griffin (@blakegriffin32) January 16, 2018
And here’s Rockets general manager Daryl Morey (not a player, but he’ll count for this category) with an almost-too-clever pun referencing the famous quote, “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” And “The Truth” is Paul Pierce’s nickname, of course.
Still putting on his shoes pic.twitter.com/mj9vS9cwCn
— Daryl Morey (@dmorey) January 16, 2018
THE AUSTIN RIVERS CATEGORY
Look, Austin Rivers has turned himself into a positive basketball player this season, but he’s still rather unlikable. There’s the whole nepotism thing, where his dad signed him despite most of the NBA wondering whether he even deserved to be in the league, and he talks constant trash. So no, it was hardly a surprise when Rivers got the brunt of this.
We’ve all wanted to punch the coach’s son. Let’s be honest Austin Rivers is the perfect manifestation of that childhood desire.
— Anthony F. Irwin (@AnthonyIrwinLA) January 16, 2018
You’re actually allowed to storm into your opponent’s locker room postgame if Austin Rivers was wearing streetclothes and talking all kinds of shit - it’s in the NBA rulebook.
— Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) January 16, 2018
Austin Rivers When The Rockets Players Walked Into The Clippers Locker pic.twitter.com/sNrLrMlGmZ
— Gustavo Vega (@iamvega1982) January 16, 2018
Whole Rockets team rolled up on Austin Rivers like pic.twitter.com/bbfwrPVRnO
— Brendan (@CharmCityGoon) January 16, 2018
say what you want but a guy who looks like this making people want to fight him is the least surprising thing ever pic.twitter.com/5jByttAXSV
— Tim Cato (@tim_cato) January 16, 2018
SECRET TUNNEL
When ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted about Paul leading the Rockets through a back entrance is when Twitter lost it.
cp3 snuck his teammates through a secret tunnel so they could go fight austin rivers over a regular season game lmao the nba rules
— jack (@jackhaveitall) January 16, 2018
The Rockets in the back alleyway heading to the clips locker room pic.twitter.com/F416o8XitJ
— Carter Rodríguez (@Carter_Shade) January 16, 2018
Chris Paul and the Rockets sneaking up on the Clippers through the backdoor. pic.twitter.com/l9uHJIoDzP
— Michael Sykes, II (@MikeDSykes) January 16, 2018
Chris Paul had the Rockets take the Underground Railroad to the Clippers
— Edwins Twincarnacion (@ZiggyOfAk) January 16, 2018
Harden, Ariza, and Green sneaking to the back door like pic.twitter.com/aap4437oMu
— Joshua Toussaint (@2sainttakes) January 16, 2018
leaked security camera footage of chris paul sneaking into the clippers locker room pic.twitter.com/N5h9crBrtu
— police presence pants (@nick_pants) January 16, 2018
Chris Paul leading the Rockets through a secret hallway to the Clippers locker room pic.twitter.com/rGr3KmnE01
— Moe (@MoeAlayan) January 16, 2018
THE CAPELA DIVERSION
And again, when it was revealed that Clint Capela acted as a diversion at the front door.
This whole thing is a testament to Chris Paul’s leadership that in 5 minutes, immediately after a game ended, he planned an intricate attack strategy complete with a diversion, a secret tunnel and a pincer maneuver to get his hands on Austin Rivers. Bravo!
— Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (@simonssaysno) January 16, 2018
"Everybody know the plan?" pic.twitter.com/N7j8cznc2h
— SB Nation (@SBNation) January 16, 2018
Footage of Clint Capela approaching the Clippers’ locker room: pic.twitter.com/V0HFU5G3yc
— Fred Katz (@FredKatz) January 16, 2018
CP3: So the plan is set
— The Dream Shake (@DreamShakeSBN) January 16, 2018
Harden: We’re just missing one thing...
[pause]
Clint Capela: pic.twitter.com/prP3jXAHCa
The Rockets were really ready to sacrifice Clint Capela by sending him to the front door you guys I can’t effing breathe
— Anthony F. Irwin (@AnthonyIrwinLA) January 16, 2018
RYAN ANDERSON’S REACTION
Anderson, bless his heart, could pass for a mid-level accountant at a paper supply company if he wasn’t 6’10. We all know he wanted no part of this, any of this, and we can all respect that. But Twitter will roast you for that — them’s the rules.
Ryan Anderson definitely sitting on the plane wondering where his teammates are
— Bharath Ravindran (@baarthravindran) January 16, 2018
Ryan Anderson watching the Rockets plan go down pic.twitter.com/qa35KEh7Ih
— Brody Logan (@BrodyLogan) January 16, 2018
TWITTER WAS STELLAR
Here are more good tweets. This LaVar Ball joke blew me away.
LaVar Ball when he finds out about the secret door that will lead him to Luke Walton pic.twitter.com/FAh9PPwkXI
— Daniel Poarch (@DanielfromSport) January 16, 2018
This was the best Cliff Paul joke made all night.
when you round up the boys in the locker room vs. when the police ask what happened pic.twitter.com/fk7jppeXTi
— Matt Ellentuck (@mellentuck) January 16, 2018
Here’s an excellent callback to the last night we had on Twitter like this, the DeAndre Jordan emoji night.
I have an idea if the Clippers are trying to keep opponents out of their locker room. pic.twitter.com/3Og3UxHM14
— Jason Gallagher (@jga41agher) January 16, 2018
And just a few more:
Harden, Ariza and Gerald Green waiting for Austin Rivers like pic.twitter.com/9Awiy8r9yW
— Josiah Johnson (@KingJosiah54) January 16, 2018
How CP3, Ariza, Harden and Gerald Green pulling up to Austin Rivers house during All-Star Weekend
— Josiah Johnson (@KingJosiah54) January 16, 2018
pic.twitter.com/LpJnwYz2aR
harden, ariza, and cp3 getting ready to square up with austin rivers pic.twitter.com/6lRc57Eseu
— Tim Cato (@tim_cato) January 16, 2018
THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN YOU
everybody who went to bed early is gonna catch up on this rockets-clippers stuff like pic.twitter.com/RPfHovBf8M
— James Herbert (@outsidethenba) January 16, 2018
If so, you truly missed the best night of the year.