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6 absurd things that are all true about college football at this exact moment

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Plus a bunch of other fun things from Week 9 in college football, including an FSU fan reading a book and an Iowa mascot taking a football to the nuts.

Wisconsin v Northwestern Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

College football is our wildest sport. Its many oddities are what made the 2007 season the best in history and 1984 wild as hell, too. 2018 has work to do to be as absurd as either of those years and might just belong to Alabama, but this season’s giving it a hell of a good effort in its own ways.

Consider that right now, the day after Week 9, all of these things are true:

1. Kentucky is probably ticketed for the top 10 on Sunday afternoon.

If not, the Wildcats, who were 12th in Week 9, will be right outside it, like even closer than they already were. They overcame a 14-3 fourth quarter deficit against Missouri and then broke a ceiling tile with the body of their crowd-surfing coach. Kentucky football would take control of the SEC East next week if they could upset Georgia.

2. Northwestern is leading the Big Ten West

Wisconsin was the favorite here at the beginning of the year, and then your next best guess probably would have been Iowa. Well, guess again.

3. Kansas has wins. Yes, more than one. Even more than two!

4. Virginia is leading the ACC Coastal and really might play in the conference’s title game.

Yep! And there’s a real possibility that they could win out and finish 10-2. Here’s a guide to talking to your children about the idea of Virginia playing in Charlotte.

5. Four preseason top-10 teams might finish unranked.

That is, indeed, more than the norm.

Penn State’s been making a strong effort to make it five, but is safe for now after a bizarre win against Iowa. The Nittany Lions’ next two games are against Michigan and Wisconsin, so the dream is still alive of another team joining this fray.

6. UAB, which didn’t exist two seasons ago, is 6-1.

The UAB football program folded after the 2014 season and didn’t come back until last year, when it went 8-5.

That is absurd.

Let’s run through more fun stuff from Week 9 in college football.

SHIRTLESS FSU BOOK GUY

Florida State is having a rough go at things in Willie Taggart’s first season, which is understandable. When No. 2 Clemson came to Tallahassee, things didn’t get any better.

Down 52-3, ESPN cameras caught the saddest Seminoles fan, who we are hereby referring to as FSU Book Guy. Observe:

Eventually, FSU Book Guy had people join him, probably because they saw the viral gentleman and wanted to capitalize on his newfound fame before the buzzer struck on those 15 minutes:

Never has there been such a blowout of a game worth watching once ESPN realized they had another form of entertainment on hand.

(The final was Clemson 59, FSU 10.)

Kentucky had the best locker room celebration of the year.

Kentucky was down 14-3 in the fourth quarter against Missouri. It ended that quarter up 15-14, having won on an untimed down following an iffy pass interference call:

Thank goodness that happened, because the celebration was entirely too lit afterward.With “Mo Bamba” blasting throughout the locker room, Mark Stoops crowd surfed at the hands of his players:

It got so lit, that Stoops broke a ceiling tile:

UK Athletics

Next week, they get to face off against Georgia in Lexington for control of the SEC East. Imagine the celebration if they’re able to pull THAT one off.

KANSAS WON A BIG 12 FOOTBALL GAME ON A BUTT FUMBLE.

Kansas doesn’t do the whole winning thing often, especially within the Big 12. On Saturday when they clinched a victory over TCU on a BUTT FUMBLE, it only seemed right.

The last time Kansas got a Big 12 win? Well it was Nov. 19, 2016 against none other than the Texas Longhorns. Don’t ever forget.

Congrats, Kansas, and enjoy this one. We don’t know when another conference win will happen again, but we’ll be excited for you all whenever it does.

Vanderbilt had a glorious Piesman Trophy play.

Vanderbilt-Arkansas isn’t high on the list of SEC Games You’d Put Time Into on your college football Saturday, but there was at least one play worth seeing.

Commodores defensive lineman Louis Vecchio showed off his hands, and more importantly his concentration, with this interception:

This is easily a Piesman Trophy nominee. Not only was the catch great, but that is some laser focus that even a bunch of wide receivers don’t have.

Iowa also joined the Piesman fray.

Iowa managed to score 24 points against Penn State, but these are really the only six that matter since they lost. On a fourth-and-goal up 5-0 (lol) the Hawkeyes found 6’5, 275-pound defensive end Sam Brincks, who made a catch the great Willie Mays would be proud of:

Kirk Ferentz drawing up this play is just one of Saturday’s great gifts, as he clearly cares about the only college football postseason award that matters.

Being a mascot can be hard, though.

During that same Iowa-Penn State game, Iowa’s mascot was on the receiving end of a Nate Stanley pass, though not in the way you might imagine:

Yep, that’s Iowa’s mascot taking one to the groin. Sure, the Hawkeyes lost on Saturday, but the mascot is the biggest loser here.

This game also featured Penn State taking two safeties on punt attempts.

And winning, somehow.

2nd-and-what now?

Back to Florida State’s Really Bad Saturday, real quick. A bad snap and an unsportsmanlike penalty against Cam Akers turned into THIS:

The ‘Noles ended up punting on fourth-and-28.

You know what they say: “When in Lincoln...”

Bethune-Cookman was visiting Nebraska in Lincoln on Saturday, which doesn’t happen often. So when a Bethune-Cookman coach got hungry, he bought a runza:

I, a native of the deep south, have no idea what a runza (sold at Runza, with a capital R) is. Luckily SB Nation’s Hayley Archer, a Nebraska grad, enlightens us, via Alex Kirshner:

“It’s like a hot pocket, where it’s ground beef and cabbage. I think onions? Inside of like a roll. And sometimes there’s like cheese. It’s kind of like a burger and a hot pocket put together, but with cabbage in it. It’s very different, and Nebraskans love it.”

It’s a big deal apparently, so the coach made a good choice. You gotta expand the palate when given the chance, yanno?

Speaking of Bethune-Cookman, their punter is a delight.

With the Huskers up 38-3, BCU was punting, something that is less than surprising.

But this punt by Uriel Hernandez is good, and the celebration is even better:

Yep, those are some ferocious finger guns by our 5’4, 209-pound friend.

N’Keal Harry is not of this planet.

Just look at this sorcery from Arizona State’s star receiver:

That’s all I’ve got for that. You can’t just watch it once.

OK, this is an aggressive touchdown.

D’Eriq King not only evaded the grasp of three USF players before getting the first down, he then executed a vicious spin move to cruise into the end zone:

This was a very NCAA Football type of run, once you’ve messed with the game settings and put the CPU’s tackling abilities on an incredibly low setting.

Walkoff pick-six? Yes, please.

Cincinnati-SMU probably wasn’t a game that was high on your radar this afternoon, but it had one of the best endings we saw on Saturday.

In overtime, the Bearcats sealed the victory with this James Wiggins pick-six:

The game probably shouldn’t have come to that for the Bearcats, but that’s a damn good way to win a football game. They’ve still got a chance in the AAC, but have to get past the likes of USF and UCF first.

Mike Gundy doesn’t like Twitter.

No college football coach except Lane Kiffin does.

I’m still finna tweet.