The other day I wrote a whole thing about how I like Duke basketball — blah, blah, blah. I published this on the World Wide Web because it felt like it was time for me to own my truth, because I was sick of apologizing for it, and because CONTENT IS KING.
I heard from a lot people. Some — only those who went to Duke, obviously — were like, “Go Blue Devils! Welcome to the club! Here’s a set of Croakies and a statistics textbook! Please add me to your professional network on LinkedIn! Have you considered a career in finance?”
But most were just like, “Wow, that’s gross, I don’t like you anymore.”
Look, I get it. You’re entitled. I like the Patriots and I like Duke and that’s a lot to ask you to be cool with. To be fair, some people never even liked me to begin with. And that’s cool, too! Let my Duke fandom fuel the fires. I’m here for it. Hi, haters, etc.
However, I also feel like ... what if YOU secretly like Duke? I know, I know, you’re probably like, “There’s absolutely no way that I would ever, ever, ever root for Coach Ksldkjlksdjgl and his band of trippin’-ass players.”
But ... what if there secretly is? I think you should all check yourselves, and to help you do so, I’ve created this special flowchart just so you can truly be sure whether you should root for Duke or not.
You’re welcome. I think. Or maybe I’m sorry? I don’t even know at this point. Regardless, have it it.
And, once again, go Pats.