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This deer tried to take the D.C. Metro to the Capitals’ Stanley Cup victory parade

He wanted to buy a ticket, but he didn’t have the bucks.

Everyone in Washington D.C. is excited to celebrate the Capitals’ first ever Stanley Cup victory. Even the deer.

The city’s Crystal City Station, located in the not-rural heart of Arlington, Virginia, got an extra rush hour surprise when a deer found its way into the station to play chicken with a handful of trains and dart around completely oblivious commuters. He or she ran down a couple tracks, passed through the station, and avoided getting mashed into paste by oncoming trains before escaping into the thick wilderness of northern Virginia.

The best part about the Metro’s security vid is the combination of fear and shock that overcomes the two people who look up from their phones only to find an extremely confused wild animal a few feet away. The first guy does a literal double take, then slowly begins to back off even though the deer is

a) 30 feet away from him
b) a deer and not a bear.

The woman in the second clip, who may or may not be Bryce Dallas Howard, is so shocked she makes this face for three solid seconds:

The clip cuts out from there, but it’s safe to say she remains completely shocked by the idea a deer could find its way into Crystal City. I can appreciate this sentiment. Average cost of a one bedroom apartment in that area of Arlington is $1,861. After consulting with several prominent zoologists, I can safely say that deer’s annual salary is however much grass it is able to eat in a year.

Did he/she commute in for the Capitals’ parade? Did it find a rent-controlled place downtown it shares with a roommate or two, possibly friendly rabbits? Does this deer actually have a high-paying government job and I’m just a big species-ist?

I don’t know. The Metro surveillance video doesn’t go that far. But it could, if we just committed more public money to the NSA.

#FundtheNSA. We need to know more about these deer in our subway stations.