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The Fumble Dimension is going to destroy golf, and we need your help

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Kofie and Jon have gotten their hands on a golf video game with a terrifying course editor. Help us design it and make our lives hell!

Since launch, The Fumble Dimension has tackled basketball and football. Since both of these went so well, we’ve decided to keep the streak alive by tackling everyone’s favorite sport to play in a video game.

Golf. PLEASE DON’T LEAVE. THIS IS GOING TO BE A SUPER FUN EPISODE.

While we were producing the NFL Head Coach episodes, we stumbled upon a game called The Golf Club 2019. To our surprise, we found out that EA Sports stopped making golf video games after their last project Rory McIlroy PGA Tour. I wonder why.

After thorough examination of TGC 2019, the course designer stood out to us and we decided to create the most arduous and entertaining golf course of all time.

Welcome to The Fumble Invitational.

Now we originally thought that our customization options would be the standard “add bunkers, water and fairways.” Then we took a deeper look at the menu and realized we can turn ordinary holes like this ...

... into crazy stuff like this.

Since there are 18 holes and over 150 options of things we can put on the course, we thought it would be best for you to tell us what goes where.

But before we let you choose what goes where, we have to explain what is or isn’t possible in this game. If you input something that isn’t possible, then I can’t do it. Make sense? Good.

It has to be possible to putt the ball in the hole

For some reason this game lets us put certain objects on top of the hole. Take for example, this test where I figured out that we can’t putt through a city building. Shocker.

So for that reason, we decided that the hole has to be puttable ... that’s not a word, but you know what I mean.

Water interactions.

Alright, so this is a trickier thing to explain. You can put land animals in water, but you can’t put water animals on land. So you can have a bunch of horses that are clearly drowning.

But you can’t put a fish out of water.

The same applies for sea vehicles on l-

Never mind I lied, I think this one just applies to fish.

It’s clear that the developers weren’t expecting lunatics like us to attempt this, but we’re here now, so. The only thing is we can’t have air vehicles too close to the course. I tried, but the game doesn’t seem to want me to add them at a certain elevation. Just know that if you request an aircraft or something, that it probably won’t affect our gameplay in any shape or form.

Now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, here are the things that you can add in the video game.

Nature

These are pretty straightforward.

Trees: Pine, cedar, birch, ponderosa, bush, maple

Rocks: There are 10 different rocks

Plants: Fallen tree, fern, bush, lilies, global plants

Interaction: If you hit the trees or rocks the ball will ricochet.

Walls and fences

Options: Fence, retaining wall, high brick wall, high metal fence, low brick wall, brick wall with railings, wooden fence, wooden panels, wire fence, steps, picket fence, hedge, stone wall

Interaction: The ball with ricochet off the wall/fence.

Buildings

There are so many different buildings, y’all. The main thing that we’re going to have to watch out for is just how much space each building takes.

Options: clubhouse, washrooms, outhouse, shelters, beach hut, gazebos, lighthouse, car park, helipad, sheds, cart shed, turbine, windmill, townhouse, house, city buildings, camera towers, concession stand, concession tent

Interaction: If you hit the buildings the ball will ricochet. These buildings can also float.

Furniture

Options: Bench, picnic table, trash can, dumpster, trash bag, trash cans, coolers, water coolers, patio sets, patio table, patio umbrella, patio chair, lights, street light, power pole, power pylons, fountains

Interaction: If you hit the furniture, the ball will ricochet.

Signs

Options: club signs, tee box, ads, signs, markers, distance markers, cart sign, course sign, stop sign

Bridge

Options: Bridge, sectional bridge

Interaction: If you hit the equipment the ball will ricochet.

Equipment

Options: Ball washers, club washer, golf cart, rake, tee caddy, golf bag, ball picker, mower, putting flag, bag stand, ball bucket, ball pyramid, divider

Interaction: If you hit the equipment the ball will ricochet.

Vehicles: Planes, boats and automobiles

Options: Car, container ship, fishing boats, yachts, power boat, wooden boat, rusty ship , sailboats, ship, small boat, passenger plane, blimp, private planes, private jet, water plane

Interaction: Now this is a weird one. If you hit any of the vehicles on the side, the ball will ricochet. However in certain instances you get certain interactions. If you chip a ball onto the ship the ball goes through the ship. Here’s me shooting while on the ship.

So yeah.

Wildlife

Options: Buffalo skull, cow, deer, goat, horse, kangaroo, moose, sheep, squirrel, stag, duck, eagle, goose, raven, seagull, swan, bee, butterflies, dragonflies, crocodile, snake

Interaction: Does the ball actually hit the animal? Nope. It’s actually funnier.

The cow stops but the ball keeps going.

Other objects

These don’t really fit in a category.

Options: Bunker, ad boards, crowd seating, crowds


Now that we have everything taken care of, here are the holes. We’re leaving Hole 18 for ourselves — Muahahaha!

Now that you know what you can add and where you can add it, it’s up to you to make Kofie and Jon’s lives miserable. In this Google Form, you’ll be able to do just that. Also, follow Kofie and Jon on Twitter to stay up to date with the building of the course.

Look out for this monstrosity in the next episode of Fumble Dimension.