Labor Day weekend is among us, marking the unofficial end to the summer. More specifically — it’s the end of White Claw Summer.
I had no idea what White Claws were before this summer. Apparently they’ve been around for some years now, but that missed me. I’m very much set in my own ways, and don’t look for anything new with regards to beverages.
A lot of people have pointed to this video by YouTuber Trevor Wallace as the big social media boom of White Claws. The video has the now famous line, “Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws, baby.” (Though I’d argue that not all of us could agree on that.):
*drinks White Claw once* pic.twitter.com/L7w8Dny4MV
— Trevor Wallace (@TrevWall) June 26, 2019
The Bro Vibes the video above gives are part of why I was hesitant to join in when I first started hearing about these drinks. I’m pretty quick to know when something is or isn’t for me. Based on those two minutes and 20 seconds, this definitely wasn’t for me.
I’m not very picky when it comes to what I drink — or at least I don’t think I am. I like to stick to anything from Hennessy to Crown Royal (preferably apple), to just about any beer that a beer snob would consider “water.”
White Claws came to my attention because of Instagram. I kept seeing people in pictures or on their stories with this mysterious white can. One day I asked my very good friend, Sports Illustrated’s Jessica Smetana, if these hard seltzers were poppin’ like that, and she claimed they were. I decided then the next time one of them were to appear up in my presence, I’d give it a shot. It’s better to have an open mind than be a jerk about something [glares at people who never gave Game of Thrones a chance and called it ThE dRaGoN ShOw].
Eventually I was at a friend’s house watching the U.S. Women’s National Team probably score a touchdown on some unfortunate team, and his girlfriend had some in the fridge. I tried a lime one, and it was fantastic. After that, it became my main alcoholic beverage squeeze for the remainder of the summer.
If this summer was, like me, the first time you had a White Claw, it might have been overwhelming. A friend of mine, who we’ll call Dennis, was in town and we decided we were going to go chill at the pool, because that’s what you do when it’s July in Atlanta and hot enough to melt your actual soul. I grabbed some Claws, while he grabbed a single 16-ounce Heineken, and we went.
That’s where this tweet was composed:
a stranger yelled “white claw summer!” to me across the pool. as much as i wanted to be all “i don’t know you” i had to raise my lime claw and agree that it is indeed, white claw summer
— Harry Lyles Jr. (@harrylylesjr) July 27, 2019
Well — long story short — Dennis loved that shit. My TV and internet just so happened to be out that day, and a technician from my cable provider was set to be at my place around 3 p.m. to take me out of my misery. So eventually, we left the pool to meet the guy at my apartment. This is after many Claws were consumed, including by Dennis.
Drunk Dennis then took it upon himself to passionately introduce the technician guy to White Claws, telling him why they are great. They’re smooth, have the right amount of flavor, and, well, will get you drunk if that’s your end game. So there’s the cable guy, drinking White Claws and fixing my means of TV and Fortnite. He probably had two or three before everything was good to go, and he went on his way.
Dennis’ energy towards the cable guy perfectly captures White Claw Summer. It was something to be enjoyed with whoever was around you, and it was everyone’s responsibility to introduce others to the movement. Pay it forward.
It’s sad White Claw Summer is coming to an end. I’ll miss throwing one down while listening to the “Old Town Road Remix” with Mason Ramsey.
Vox.com’s Rebecca Jennings wrote an explainer on hard seltzers, which included this promising (and true!) statement:
There will always be a summer drink. Last year it was the Aperol spritz; for the few years before that, it was rosé; next year, maybe it will be rosé-flavored vodka. But despite its just fine-ness, hard seltzer may have the most staying power out of all three: It’s cheap, it’s easy, and it has a sense of humor about itself, making it slightly more immune to derision. And the fact that it’s lightly flavored makes it a perfect mixer come holiday season (so far, there is no pumpkin spice hard seltzer, but Bon & Viv does have a cranberry flavor).
So you know what that means: it’s time for tailgate Claws.
Loading comments...