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Running away from GIANT BALLS is the holiday sport London needs


There’s a menace on the streets of London as we approach the holiday season: Giant balls. On Tuesday evening some Christmas decorations got loose in high winds in London’s Tottenham neighborhood and it looked like something out of Indiana Jones.

The giant balls looked terrifying, as if metal spheres of doom would crush everything in their wake — but in the end they were just wrapped inflatables. Still, it made for one hell of a visual as pinball came to life for a real-world multiball.

I think we should turn this into a sport. Pamplona might have the running of the bulls, but London can totally own the rolling of the balls. Every November we can have people dress up in their favorite holiday attire and be chased down a wet street after sunset by a series of giant metal balls to signify the joy of the season — and also the desire to be crushed by a large metal object.

It’s perfect, and England already has the ideal master of ceremonies for the event who can pull the level and get everything rolling.

This was the job Ed Balls was born for.