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Diana Taurasi couldn’t stop making dick jokes on ESPN during the Final Four

“The length of the Cocks is long.”

ESPN’s Bird & Taurasi Show supercast of the women’s Final Four was the funniest sporting event of the weekend. Spearheaded by Diana Taurasi and Sue Bird, they used their peerless knowledge of basketball to inform, enlighten, entertain, and also make dick jokes.

That last part is entirely on Taurasi, who was delighted by finding new and inventive ways to make references to penises while talking about the South Carolina Gamecocks. This came all while having guests from around the sports world stop by including LeBron James, Bill Walton, Megan Rapinoe and more.

On Friday it was all about the cocks’ length.

“That’s where that length comes into play right there. Like in those other games as she was finishing in the lane ... the length of the cocks is long. You can’t help it ... can’t help it.”

I mean, she’s not wrong. The length of the Cocks is long, and it’s not like there’s anything they can do to change that length. It’s just genetics. You’re either blessed with length or you’re not, and accepting what you’ve got and using it to the best of your ability is what propelled South Carolina to a National Championship.

With the Gamecocks advancing we now had an interesting dynamic. Here were Taurasi and Bird, two former Huskies and teammates from 2000-2002 under Geno Auriemma, now needing to see their former coach see if he could handle the mighty cocks.

“It’s a game of inches ... just ask the Cocks — and they’re taking those inches.”

Again, incredible insight. It really explores the dichotomy of basketball. Sometimes you need to use your length, other times you need to just take the inches. It’s really about what you’re into in the moment, and seeing how things unfold.

Honestly, ESPN’s additions of these supercasts has been the best addition to sports in recent years. There are times you want to hear the classic commentary we’ve been accustomed to for decades, and times you just want to kick back, have a little fun and listen to Peyton and Eli Manning roast each other, or see how many dick jokes Diana Taurasi can make in an hour. It’s all part of the buffet, and like the Cocks, I’ll take it all.