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31 sports ideas if they did Hollywood charity auctions

Who wouldn’t drop the dough on these experiences?!

There continues to be no end in sight for the strikes in Hollywood. Writers and actors have been off sets and on picket lines for months now, as they continue to fight for equitable pay and more rights inside a changing media landscape. This has unfortunately hurt crew members, who make a fraction of on-screen stars, but have nonetheless been out of work as a result.

One novel idea to helps these crew members is using the power of celebrity to support these workers. Actors are willing auctioning off conversations, dog walking, painting — all sorts of things to raise money for those hurt most by the strike.

This got us thinking: What would happen if this applied to the world of sports? Nobody likes a lockout, but it happens from time-to-time, putting hardship on hundreds of concessions workers, custodians, and other affected positions.

What if the biggest stars in sports offered their skills and auctioned off unique experiences?

Dan Campbell is your dad for a day

Lions coach Dan Campbell will take you to Home Depot, introducing you as his child. From there he’ll teach you about nail guns before building a bespoke bird house with you. Finally you’ll have dinner with Dan, where he’ll overcook a steak and blame it on the grill.

Selfie session with Brittany Mahomes

Nobody loves a good selfie more than Patrick Mahomes’ better half. For 27 hours straight you’ll be dragged around Kansas City by Brittany Mahomes to find the most engaging social media material possible. Too tired to take a photo? TOO BAD!

Become Shohei Ohtani’s body double for a photoshoot

It’s not often you get to be an athlete. The Angels will put you in a team photoshoot where you’ll pretend to be Shohei Ohtani. Will people notice you’re not the most electric player in Major League Baseball? Sure — but who cares.

‘Fountainhead’ book club with Aaron Rodgers

You’ll get real high with Aaron Rodgers before discussing the merits of Ayn Rand. Doesn’t that sound good? No? What do you mean it sounds like hell? Either way, this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have your mind expanded could be yours!

Negotiations 101: A class by Saquon Barkley

Whether in the boardroom, or just life — everyone needs to know how to negotiate. Saquon Barkley will teach you how to play hardball and put real pressure to get the salary you want, only to cave at the last second and only get a fraction of what you were after.

“How to see ghosts” with Sam Darnold

NFL quarterback Sam Darnold will take you on a ghost hunting trip. If Sam can see ghosts inside a packed NFL stadium, then what will he find in an abandoned sanitarium?

Pliability lessons with Tom Brady

The future Hall-of-Fame quarterback credits his “TB12” method, and exercises that he and longtime business partner Alex Guerrero termed “pliability,” as reasons for his longevity. Is it bunk? A viable option for health? Now you can find out!

Max Verstappen teaches you how not to blink

Here at SB Nation we are growing more and more convinced that Red Bull driver Max Verstappen is a robot. One reason? The man barely blinks. With your winning donation you can find out how he does it!

A trip to a rage room with Lando Norris

The McLaren F1 driver has become a bit of a menace on the podium, having shattered Max Verstappen’s first-place trophy at the Hungarian Grand Prix due to his well-known champagne pop. So what better way for Norris — and you, lucky bidder — to blow off some steam by breaking things in a rage room?

Grilling lessons with this chucklehead

Remember when an absolute genius lit eight cars on fire at a tailgate last season? Now you can take some grilling lessons with them, perhaps covering what not to do.

Barhopping with the Tennessee goalposts

We’re pretty sure they’re still out drinking somewhere.

Lose friends, alienate people and still get paid with Urban Meyer

Would you like to behave like the world’s biggest jackass and still make millions of dollars to talk about sports on television? Urban Meyer, the world’s premier expert in this field, can pull off an absolute masterclass on the subject for the top bidder. Whether it’s the proper technique for kicking one of your players in the leg while calling them a dipshit, or the best spots to hang out with a lady who isn’t your wife after skipping a team flight home after a loss, you can learn from Meyer’s vast experience.

Terms and conditions apply. A seven-figure gig as a college sports analyst at FOX Sports is not guaranteed for you, though it was apparently guaranteed for Meyer.

Learn how to apologize with Thom Brennaman

Apologizing to loved ones, friends, coworkers, or other people in your life is not always an easy thing to do. Luckily, Thom Brennaman is here to help — as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame.

Math Class with Scott Steiner and MJF

I mean, who wouldn’t want to know the basics of algebra with two genetic freaks, who are not normal? I’d say there’s a 141 and 23 chance of learning some real good math with them.

Salsa dancing with LeBron James

I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be a part of this?

A few more ideas ...

  • Join Tommy Pham’s Fantasy Football League
  • Visit the J6 prisoners with Nick Bosa
  • Attend an anime convention with JuJu Smith-Schuster
  • Boxing lessons with Dillon Brooks
  • Fashion Design class with Chris Sale
  • Aaron Donald will intimidate 3 people with his presence for you
  • Hue Jackson’s “Throw Everyone Under the Bus” tutorial
  • Playing Connect-4 with Rajon Rondo
  • Photography lessons with Randy Johnson
  • Antonio Brown just lives in your house now
  • Rank Lil Wayne albums with Kyle Shanahan
  • Tom Brady gives instructions on Living Your Best Divorced Life
  • Motorcycle lessons from Bobby Petrino
  • High Five Master Class with Dusty Baker
  • Jim Harbaugh’s Big Free Hamburger Breakfast
  • Become an official member of the Pac-12