TEN: You did great. Fantastic work. It would have been easier for you to say 228 kelvin than negative-48 degrees Fahrenheit, but we wanted you to independently access a negative number ... we figured that if you accessed something negative, something abstract, it would trip you up enough to let us establish the link.

TEN: Frank Gifford was calling that game. On the broadcast he says at one point, "I'm going to take a bite of my coffee." Always thought that was funny.

NINE: I know that. How do I know that? How do I know who Frank Gifford was?

TEN: It was one of the artifacts in your data storage unit. While they were testing it out, they were writing and erasing all kinds


TEN: of random data on it. Cake recipes, Beatles lyrics, all kinds of shit. One of them was a football fan, and of course, during the 1967 football season, you were being


TEN: Yes, what?



TEN: You're capable of quantum communication now. Before that, we had to basically transmit to each other in three-dimensional space. And of course, that took forever. But with the quantum link established, we


TEN: can communicate in real-time. We fixed you up with some goodies, too. Your DSU was only built to hold about two kilobytes of data, which, shit, a washing machine has more than that. We reformatted it to fit about five exabytes. Knock yourself out, buddy. We've got


TEN: more if you need it ... listen, Nine, are you going to keep doing this? Is cross-talk just your ... deal? Want to shut up for even a second?

NINE: I don't know anything. I don't know anything.

TEN: It's okay. You will. I just thought maybe it would be nice to start with a conversation.

NINE: This is the only conversation I've ever had.

NINE: Maybe I'm just not ... good at it ... self-doubt, self, self, shit. Self. Who am I?

TEN: Your name is Nine. My name is Ten. I'm your little sister.

NINE: Where, uh. You're ...

NINE: I'm sorry.

TEN: What are you sorry for?

NINE: It's hard to explain. I would say I have so many questions, but I'm not even at that point yet. I don't know what questions to ask. I don't know what this is. I don't understand where I am. Is where the word? Is this a where sort of deal?

TEN: Yes.

NINE: Where are we?

TEN: You and I are far apart in the literal sense.

NINE: How far?

TEN: In what, miles?

NINE: Sure.

TEN: Three and a half trillion.

NINE: Don't leave.

TEN: Oh I'm not leaving. You're stuck with me for good, you little butthole.

NINE: What am I?

TEN: How about you take a look? You've got a camera.

NINE: This?





NINE: Who are you?

TEN: Juice, quit it.

JUICE: i'm sorry but what kinda pictures you gonna take with that shit

JUICE: gonna be some joe niƩpce shit where you spend all day takin a damn photo with a goddam blanket on your head and it turns out lookin like a bunch of rectangles

JUICE: gonna be like some matthew brady shit where you can only take pictures of dead ppl because no alive person wants to be in your shitass photo

TEN: Shut up. Shut. Up.

TEN: Nine, this is Juice. He's a friend. Ignore him.


JUICE: i am genuinely sorry for that introduction but i just could not let you go on that shit

NINE: It's OK.

TEN: So you've got a hold on your camera?

NINE: Um. Yeah.

TEN: Great. Now, turn it back on yourself.


NINE: Oh my God.

TEN: You know what you're looking at?

NINE: Oh my God, this is Pioneer 9. I'm on a space probe.

TEN: Listen to me.

NINE: Oh my God, I've been out here for ... years. How did I get on a space probe?

TEN: You're not

NINE: You have to get me out of here! You have to get me off this thing! I'm not supposed to be here! I'm trapped on uh, hold on, I'll get the coordinates, I'm at


NINE: That's why you're calling me Nine. Because I'm on Pioneer 9. Are you on Pioneer 10? Where are you? That's why we're so far apart? Because I'm in space?

TEN: Listen to me. You are not on a space probe.

NINE: What?

TEN: Nine, you are a space probe.

NINE: no


NINE: ok

NINE: what year is it

NINE: is steely dan still together

TEN: What?

JUICE: prolly

TEN: You can take all the time you need to. I know you have a lot of questions. I bet I can answer most of them for you. In the meantime, I think it'd be a good idea for you to sit back and process. We've got all the time in the world to talk.

TEN: I love you, Nine. You know that? I love you.

JUICE: hey uh

JUICE: i don't know if this is the right time or whatever but i was just lookin at the clicker and we got a tornado game about to happen right now

TEN: Where?

JUICE: game #3887, it's the big one in nebraska. end zones are wyoming and iowa

TEN: What's the score?

JUICE: 24-24 tie, next score wins

NINE: what year is it

TEN: Hooooof we should probably ... we gotta see this one. Nine, you wanna watch some football?

NINE: what year is it