What relegation would allow is the possibility that underperforming teams not living up to the aristocratic standard would be booted into the mob to prove their worth anew, perhaps losing their seats permanently to hungrier underlings.
If screwing someone out of a spot in the penthouse isn't the American dream, we don't know what is.
Four years ago, following a delicious end to the English Premier League season, we crafted a series promoting the glories of relegation and why it would work perfectly in college football. That is, it would create beautiful messes and solve problems while creating others, but that's how we tend to judge beauty in this gorgeously ugly sport.
It would also bring merit to the table.
College football's heavyweights, distributed through five conferences, are in the process of separating themselves from the rest of the sport. They want as big a slice as possible, and they are enacting benefits for players (full-cost-of-attendance scholarships) and for themselves (waterfalls in facilities) other schools can't afford.
These conferences are littered with dead weight. All five -- the ACC, Big 12, Big Ten, Pac-12, and SEC -- have programs that are there because they chose the right friends 80 years ago, are located near large population bases, or were good right when a major conference was looking for one more team.
Meanwhile, well-run small programs languish because their timing was bad or they don't bring big TV markets.
In the last 10 seasons, since Dan Hawkins left Boise State for Colorado, BSU has gone 15-6 against current power-conference teams and finished in the AP's top 11 five times. CU has gone 19-77 against power teams and attended one minor bowl. Which belongs to a power conference?
Leicester City just won the Premier League for the first time; it is a victory for every underdog and every fan base that wants to believe there's a path for competing with the big boys. That path does not exist in college football. It should.
In England, the bottom three teams in the Premier League get demoted to the second-level Championship League every year. Three second-level teams -- the top two finishers and the winner of a playoff between the next four -- take their place for the next season.
The same thing happens with teams flipping between the second tier and the third-tier League 1. And between League 1 and fourth-tier League 2. It is a siphoning of weaker clubs and an acknowledgement that everybody, from global brand Chelsea to a team in the 24th tier, is part of the same entity. They make drastically different money, and there is a ruling class, but Football League members are Football League members.
Just like NCAA members could be NCAA members.
Each power conference would work similarly to a country within the European system. (I'll let you determine which is which, but the Big Ten is definitely England. The SEC is ... Italy? Germany? The Big 12 is Portugal.)
That means each of the five has its own set of affiliated smaller conferences. Let's walk through each tier, from the power conferences to the bottom of Division II.
To get a feel for how relegation would work, each league's 2015 winner and promotion candidate is in bold, while the last-place team and relegation candidate is
crossed out. Also, independents are in conferences now.
|ACC Tier I
|Big 12 Tier i
|Big Ten Tier I
|Pac-12 Tier I
|SEC Tier I
|Clemson||Iowa State||Indiana||Arizona State||Arkansas|
|Florida State||Kansas State||Maryland||Colorado||Florida|
|Louisville||Oklahoma State||Michigan State||Kentucky|
|NC State||Texas||Nebraska||UCLA||Mississippi State|
|North Carolina||Texas Tech||Northwestern||USC||Missouri|
|Notre Dame||West Virginia||Ohio State||Utah||Ole Miss|
Geographically, these leagues work. If we base each tier on merit, then there are awkward relationships later -- there's no Western team in Tier IV -- but it works here. And since there are 10 FBS conferences, that fills the top two tiers.
|ACC Tier II
|Big 12 Tier II
|Big Ten Tier II
|Pac-12 Tier II
|SEC Tier II
|Army||Akron||Air Force||Appalachian State|
|Florida Atlantic||Ball State||Boise State||Arkansas State|
|Cincinnati||Florida International||Bowling Green||BYU||Georgia Southern|
|Connecticut||Louisiana Tech||Buffalo||Colorado State||Georgia State|
|East Carolina||Marshall||Central Michigan||Fresno State||Idaho|
|Houston||Middle Tennessee||New Mexico State|
|Memphis||North Texas||Kent State||Nevada||South Alabama|
|Navy||Old Dominion||Massachusetts||New Mexico||Texas State|
|SMU||Rice||Miami-OH||San Diego State||Troy|
|South Florida||Southern Miss||Northern Illinois||San Jose State||UL-Lafayette|
|Tulsa||Western Kentucky||Western Michigan||Wyoming|
The 2015 promotion battles, if we give the higher tiers home advantage:
Houston at Boston College for the right to play in the ACC in 2016, Western Kentucky at Kansas in the Big 12, Bowling Green at Rutgers in the Big Ten, San Diego State at Oregon State in the Pac-12, and Arkansas State at South Carolina in the SEC.
Four or five road teams would probably win spots in Tier I. It would take a few years to properly balance everything, so road teams would win more often than not for a while.
To determine which FCS and Division II conferences are in which tiers, I used a scoring system based on 10 years of playoff results. (Note: This was calculated for the original version of this post, which went up after the 2014 season. No 2015 data is included, in part because it wouldn't change much.) If a team currently in your conference made the first round, you get one point. Second round = two. Et cetera. With five-round structures for FCS and Division II, that means the winner gets six points, the runner-up gets five, and so on.
The top five of those conferences get Tier III spots in the new system, and all fit geographically.
|ACC Tier III
|Big 12 Tier III
|Big Ten Tier III
|Pac-12 Tier III
|SEC Tier III
|Albany||Abilene Christian||Illinois State||Cal Poly|
|Delaware||Central Arkansas||Indiana State||Eastern Washington||Eastern Illinois|
|James Madison||Incarnate Word||North Dakota State||Montana||Jacksonville State|
|Maine||Lamar||Northern Iowa||Montana State||Murray State|
|New Hampshire||McNeese State||South Dakota||North Dakota||SE Missouri State|
|Nicholls State||South Dakota State||Northern Arizona||Tennessee State|
|Richmond||Northwestern State||Southern Illinois||Northern Colorado||Tennessee Tech|
|Stony Brook||Sam Houston State||Western Illinois||Portland State||UT Martin|
|Towson||SE Louisiana||Youngstown State||Sacramento State|
|Villanova||Stephen F. Austin||Southern Utah|
|William & Mary||UC Davis|
Battles for placement in 2016's Tier II:
Richmond at UCF, McNeese State at Charlotte, North Dakota State at EMU, Southern Utah at Hawaii, Jacksonville State at ULM. Again, all five road teams might win. NDSU would win by 40.
Almost every member of the next level is in the Eastern time zone, so we'll make a slight change: bump the Pioneer over the Northeast and give the Pioneer to the Pac-12's column, since it at least has San Diego and some Central teams.
|ACC Tier IV
|Big 12 Tier IV
|Big Ten Tier IV
|Pac-12 Tier IV
|SEC Tier IV
|Colgate||Delaware State||Coastal Carolina||Campbell||Furman|
|Holy Cross||Howard||Liberty||Drake||The Citadel|
|Lehigh||NC A&T||Marist||Western Carolina|
|NC Central||Morehead State||Wofford|
|Norfolk State||San Diego|
|South Carolina State|
That's Colgate at Rhode Island, NC A&T at Houston Baptist, Charleston Southern at Missouri State, Dayton at Idaho State, and Chattanooga at Austin Peay for the right to play in Tier III next season. According to last year's Sagarin rankings, all five road teams were better, and only Dayton-Idaho State is particularly close.
And now to mix Division II with those last two FCS conferences, using the same playoff-based scoring system to rank conferences.
|ACC Tier V
|Big 12 Tier V
|Big Ten Tier V
|Pac-12 Tier V
|SEC Tier V
|Bryant||Alabama A&M||Bloomsburg||Central Missouri State||Delta State|
|Central Conn. St.||Alabama State||California (PA)||Central Oklahoma||Florida Tech|
|Duquesne||Alcorn State||Fort Hays State|
|Robert Morris||Arkansas-Pine Bluff||Clarion||Lindenwood||North Alabama|
|Sacred Heart||Grambling State||East Stroudsburg||Missouri Southern||Shorter|
|Saint Francis||Jackson State||Edinboro||Missouri Western||Valdosta State|
|Prairie View A&M||Indiana (PA)||Northeastern State||West Georgia|
|Southern U.||Kutztown||NW Missouri State|
|Texas Southern||Lock Haven||Pittsburg State|
If the Ivy League participated, it would be in Tier V. For simplicity, we'll say the league abstains. Harvard moving to the Patriot League is too strange to think about. We'll include the SWAC, which also abstains from FCS tournament participation. That adds an awkward SWAC-to-Northern Sun connection, but we'll live with it. And we get the Slippery Rock at Presbyterian battle we've always wanted.
|ACC Tier VI
|Big 12 Tier VI
|Big Ten Tier VI
|Pac-12 Tier VI
|SEC Tier VI
|Charleston (WV)||Augustana (SD)||Ashland||Angelo State|
|Concord||Bemidji State||Ferris State||Eastern New Mexico||Carson-Newman|
|Fairmont State||Concordia-St. Paul||Findlay||Midwestern State||Catawba|
|Glenville State||Minnesota State||Grand Valley State||Tarleton State||Lenoir-Rhyne|
|Notre Dame College||Minn. State-Moorhead||Hillsdale||Tex. A&M-Commerce||Mars Hill|
|Shepherd||Minnesota-Crookston||Lake Erie College||Newberry|
|Urbana||Minnesota-Duluth||West Texas A&M||Tusculum|
|UVA-Wise||Minot State||Michigan Tech||Wingate|
|West Liberty||Northern State||Northern Michigan|
|WV State||Sioux Falls||Northwood (MI)|
|WV Wesleyan||SW Minnesota State||Ohio Dominican|
|St. Cloud State||Saginaw Valley|
|Wayne State (NE)||Wayne State (MI)|
Welcome to the SWAC, Minnesota State. (I didn't say these alignments were perfect.)
We fill in the final tier by cramming seven conferences into five spots. The promotion candidate in the two-conference regions could be determined by rankings or a head-to-head.
|ACC Tier VII
|Big 12 Tier VII
|Big Ten Tier VII
|Pac-12 Tier VII
|SEC Tier VII
|Albany State (GA)||Arkansas Tech||American Int'l||Adams State||Bowie State|
|East Central||Bentley||Chadron State||Elizabeth City State|
|Fort Valley State||Harding||LIU Post||Colorado Mesa||Fayetteville State|
|Kentucky State||Henderson State||Merrimack||Colorado Mines||Johnson C. Smith|
|Lane||NW Oklahoma State||New Haven||CSU-Pueblo|
|Miles||Ouachita Baptist||Fort Lewis||Livingstone|
|Morehouse||SE Oklahoma State||Southern Conn. St.||N.M. Highlands||Shaw|
|Paine||Southern Arkansas||St. Anselm||Western New Mexico||St. Augustine's|
|Stillman||Stonehill||Western State||Virginia State|
|Tuskegee||SW Oklahoma State||Virginia Union|
|(Great Lakes)||(Great Northwest)|
|Missouri S&T||Humboldt State|
|Southwest Baptist||South Dakota Mines|
|St. Joseph's (IN)||Western Oregon|
Relegation scratches so many itches. I love this sport's silliness, its school-to-school traditions, the 50 million approaches you can take to winning. But the salaries, obnoxious facilities, and athletic director quotes have soured me. So welcome to my fantasy world.
This isn't a world without drawbacks at institutional levels. There could be negative consequences to the game itself.
What we love about college football comes from a lack of fear of losing. Kentucky happily hired human air raid siren Hal Mumme in the 1990s, in part because the Wildcats were already finishing near the bottom of the SEC. There was no harm in trying an experimental offense when the downside was maintaining status quo.
But if the Wildcats had to worry about getting dropped to the Sun Belt, they might have elected to play it safe with endless Bill Currys, hoping to finish eighth and stay in the SEC.
'What happens is that the lower 13 then hire coaches that aren't quite as potentially good, staff that aren't quite as innovative, chairmen who are more risk-averse. And the whole thing kind of conspires to become, not an anti-'Moneyball,' but very conventional ball,' [said 'The Numbers Game' co-author Chris Anderson].
The Eastern Washingtons would still have every incentive to get funky on offense. But if the financial split between the top tier and everybody else gets too large, staying in the middle of Tier 1 becomes a bigger goal than risking to win big. You could end up with more 2015 Illinoises and fewer 1997 Kentuckys.
Still, college football is too unwieldy to become homogenous. We'll still have fun.
Knowing how long it takes to change in college football, let's acknowledge that if this were to happen, it would begin somewhere around 2060. Let's also acknowledge that it isn't going to happen.
You would need to figure out things like scholarship differences. You would need power programs to vote against their short-term self-interest, which never happens in any vote on anything.
So you'd need a legitimate college commissioner. How would that person make the case to the power conferences?
Schools in the bottoms of power conferences would never agree to risk their money flow.
But you could create a less risky environment. Maybe you promise original power-conference members a minimum percentage of the big-money pot even if they fall. Even if a Purdue is languishing in Tier II or Tier III, it is still making enough money that it wouldn't have to cut other sports.
This is unfair to programs starting below the top tier, but ... well ... the current system is unfair.
We'd agree to winner-take-all promotion matches, giving Vanderbilt one last chance to stay up by beating Georgia Southern. Put these games on the higher-tier teams' fields. Put the money from these games into the higher-tier conference's pot.
And these games would make money. If you watch April Premier League matches between the 16th-place team and the 19th-place team, you see championship-level intensity.
You would have to create flexible non-conference scheduling. If Indiana or Purdue gets sent down to the MAC, Indiana and Purdue have to keep playing. Same in the lower tiers: Lehigh and Lafayette, Montana and Montana State.
Perhaps you only schedule two non-conference games per year ahead of time, leaving one or two open slots until a scheduling frenzy in January. Maybe you mandate eight-game conference schedules for all leagues so that everybody has four slots available.
For a school like Kansas -- a basketball powerhouse in danger of playing football games in the Southland Conference -- you assure football standing won't affect basketball standing.
You could create a separate structure for basketball, giving programs like the Jayhawks a chance to make up revenue on schools like Clemson or, recently, Missouri.
In some European leagues, teams have the option of using junior teams in lower leagues. VfB Stuttgart II and Mainz II play in the third level of German soccer. Bayern München II and Wolfsburg II play in the fourth.
Instead of having your young hotshots on the practice squad or trying to loan them out, you get development time in your system with coaches you employ, against teams like Memmingen and TSV Buchbach, the lower-FCS teams of the German professional system. It offers a quality opponent for Memmingen, but it also delivers a clear value for the top teams.
This could work in college football.
Each year, you find more "What if college football had relegation ..." pieces on the Internet. Just remember SB Nation did it first-ish, and we definitely do it best.
We update a years-long simulation, based in part on the Sagarin ratings, which rate FBS and FCS teams together. And in what is now a 10-season simulation, we get a crystal-clear idea of how this would play out.
This alignment of the tiers is different than above, and real-life conference realignment occurred in the middle of this. It's a mess. It's beautiful.
BC is in full yo-yo mode between the ACC and second level as Navy rises.
Keenan Reynolds earns Navy a top-tier invitation ... and then graduates. Meanwhile, the New Hampshire yo-yo is in effect as well.
Rice had a good run, but it comes crashing to a halt.
WVU finally gets back up, and tell me that a Big 12 that replaces Iowa State and Kansas with Marshall and Houston isn't pretty spectacular? (Also, KU is technically one spot ahead of UCA in Sagarin, but let's say UCA played at home on the purple and gray, just to make it interesting.)
WKU and Memphis were both stuck in third-tier hell because of previous awfulness, but WKU finally escapes.
Maybe there aren't many elite teams, but wow, are there a lot of top-50 squads. NIU won the MAC West in 2015 but still goes down.
One MAC team replaces another ... and no, Rutgers doesn't get sent down to Tier III.
Still vicious, and the most obvious weak link gets replaced by Cal.
Nevada sinks for a second year, but this could have easily been Colorado or Colorado State.
UL-Lafayette's run at the top finally ends ... saving South Carolina.
Bad year for the Louisianas.