Los Angeles Rams

Why we’re going all the way The Rams? Going "all the way?" We’d need 100 unconnected things to go perfectly right in a sport where good teams average about 70 out of 100 things going their way and the Rams average about 12. Let us not spend time, our most precious resource, on this. New head coach Sean McVay and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips could get the Rams on track to provide a realistic answer to this in the future. For 2017? Yeah, no.

The season is hopeless if [THIS] happens A regression to the mean on the injury front. In 2016, the Rams put up one of the worst offenses in modern history…and did so without having to deal with any major injuries. The offensive line is being held up by 35-year-old LT Andrew Whitworth. The pass rush is anchored by Robert Quinn, who has missed half of each of the last two seasons, and 30-year-old Connor Barwin. At each of these key positions, the Rams don’t have the depth to rely on should any of their veterans miss time.

Who is your biggest rival and why? Recent football would likely suggest it’s the Seattle Seahawks. The Rams have been a thorn in the Seahawks’ side for the last five years, and while the Seahawks were focused on postseason success, Rams fans have enjoyed being able to upend the Legion of Boom in the regular season. Historically, though, the Rams’ biggest rival was always the San Francisco 49ers. And last year, the 49ers’ sole two wins came against the Rams. I’m torn to pick one between the two. So here’s to the Rams never losing to either until the end of time.

Tailgate food that best describes your team? Carne asada tacos. Keeping tabs on Los Angeles tacos is practically a full-time job in and of itself. As much as modern taquerias are helping the evolution of the taco, there’s something classic about a carne asada taco at the  Coliseum. With the offerings among the various tailgate crews adding to the food trucks, I don’t know that anything represents the Rams better right now than a classic carne asada taco. (Two corn tortillas, please. Let’s not ruin a good thing.)

What does your team do better than anyone else? Not put up a single winning season in the last 13 years. We’ve done that so much better than the other 31 NFL teams.