The finest details in Sports Illustrated’s Ole Miss report from this week did not concern duffel bags full of cash crossing borders or chinchilla coats draped across the shoulders of offensive linemen.
No, they involve Laremy Tunsil’s estranged stepfather complaining about the surprising cost of dime-dropping: having to spend a great deal of time in and immediately around the Oxford McDonald’s.
[Lindsey] Miller says his interviews with NCAA investigators include marathon sessions on FaceTime and meetings at both a McDonald's in Oxford, Miss, and later in that restaurant's parking lot when he and Sheridan grew worried about being seen together.
"I got kind of tired of them," Miller says of the NCAA. "It was everyday for, I'm going to say, two to three weeks. (One day) we spoke for 12 or 13 hours, I took a lunch break and I took a dinner break. I cooperated fully, but it was a hassle."
Stepping one foot outside the fast food establishment in order to exchange classified information? Brings back so many high school memories, y’all.
That McDonald’s, now an SEC scandal historical landmark and the heart of many jokes, is seen here blaming the whole thing on the Wendy’s 2.5 miles away:
That "#THENETWORK" hashtag is an inside joke among Rebels, who like to make fun of Mississippi State fan conspiracy theories at all hours.
The official Oxford Police Twitter is also having fun online, as it often does:
Many Ole Miss fans have taken the perfect stance on this business, refusing to get overly angry and defensive about allegations against their program. (Many do get angry and defensive, but let’s focus on those who are setting a fine example by laughing at a scandal largely coming down to players getting rides and sleeping on couches and stuff.)
If the NCAA rains down hard justice, that would mean a mediocre Ole Miss team. That team would lose more games. That would mean fans would have more time for drinking under chandeliers, the school’s favored pastime anyway.
If the NCAA does the modern NCAA thing and levies a confusing series of wrist slaps, then the Rebels would keep winning more games than they used to.
Ole Miss fans cannot lose either way, and that’s got to drive rivals crazy. And they can also get egg and bacon on their McD’s chicken biscuits for a small extra charge. Rivals have got to be sick with rage right now.
Wanna feel old? Consider what current recruits must think when they’re told Miami is a top-tier dynasty-level program.
Watching Clemson players going bonkers as Coastal Carolina wins the College World Series will give you a warm buzz of state pride, no matter your state.
Also, please welcome CCU to the Sun Belt, as of about nine hours ago. They’ll begin SBC play on their teal football field next year.
Bill C team of the day: Utah, which Bill readily admits he’s probably underestimating. Unsure if Utes fans can fully claim this as hating.
QB predicts he’ll have a full assortment of five blue-chip WRs in his signing class at Bama, and he’s naming names.
After some unsettling allegations against Cal’s strength coach, former Golden Bears players immediately rallied to support the staff.
Texas’ roster is almost totally Charlie Strong’s now. If this is his make-or-break year, at least he’s got pieces.
The Big Ten’s bowl slate is kind of bad. Here are five ways to make it sillier and no worse.
QB who’s now transferred twice from Cal lands at Fresno State.
REALIGNMENT BACK. The Big 12 will generate some more dumb headlines this month.
PREVIOUS: Ranking recruiting classes strictly by blue-chip commits is a fine way to do it this early ... and it highlights how crazy Ohio State’s class is gonna be.