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Rex Ryan to Kentucky: Some things are too wonderful to ever happen

No, Kentucky will not hire Rex Ryan. But if they're really pondering it, well, let's join right in and ponder along with them.

Nick Laham

While the list of coaches Kentucky's reportedly considering is quite sensible, the Cats have bought themselves plenty of time to make their next choice by announcing Joker Phillips' firing early in the process. So why not take a little trip down WHOA HEY WHOA TOO FAR TOO FAST WHY NOT JIM ZORN HE'S AVAILABLE

Imagine the following things:

  1. Rex Ryan at SEC Media Days.
  2. Rex Ryan and Les Miles, pregame conversation.
  3. Really imagine the words that Rex Ryan and Les Miles would use in order to communicate with each other.
  4. Rex Ryan and Les Miles, airboat timecops.
  5. Rex Ryan posing next to Tim Tebow's statue at the Swamp.
  6. Rex Ryan during a September 1st noon kickoff in the South.
  7. Rex Ryan recruiting you.
  8. Rex Ryan among sundresses. (Okay, fine, sure, and open-toed shoes.)
  9. Illegal Rex Ryan dick joke brings Nick Saban to the brink of grinning.
  10. Rex Ryan feeling very familiar with Kentucky's quarterback situation.
  11. Shutting down the food court: Rex Ryan and Jared Lorenzen.
  12. "There's no way I'm going to be second fiddle. If we were playing the New York Yankees, I don't want to be second fiddle to them. I want to be the best team in football, not just the best team in this city. But we'll start by being the best team in this city." Rex Ryan losing to Louisville.
  13. Assistant coach Rob Ryan scheming against Kevin Sumlin.
  14. "LET'S GO EAT A GODDAMN SNACK, WHICH WILL BE A BAGEL WITHOUT CREAM CHEESE DUE TO NCAA STIPULATIONS"

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