:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/21372335/20130709_mje_sg8_964.0.jpg)
South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier is one of college football's all-time quotable figures. When a Spurrier-coached team is facing a chief rival, the Head Ball Coach almost always provides at least one quip that's worth remembering, and his SEC Media Days press conferences are must-see events.
With all this in mind, 14 of the best Spurrier quotes from over the years:
This season
On South Carolina's 52-7 win over the Razorbacks: "I do feel badly for Arkansas. That's no fun getting your butt beat at home, homecoming and all that."
On the Gamecocks' matchup at Tennessee "Will be the 14th time I've coached in Neyland Stadium. ... I've coached there more than some of their head coaches."
On his age: "The Pope is 77 years old and he's in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field."
Classic Spurrier
Georgia
On playing the Dawgs early: "I don't know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended."
On Georgia recruiting: "Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don't understand that. What happens to them?"
Tennessee
On the Vols missing out on the Sugar Bowl during his Florida years: "You can't spell Citrus without U-T."
On Peyton Manning: "I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl."
Alabama
On recruiting: "In 12 years at Florida, I don't think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama ... Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours."
Florida State
On scandal in Tallahassee: "You know what FSU stands for, don't you? Free Shoes University."
On illegal hits against Danny Wuerffel: "He's like a New Testament person. He gets slapped up side the face, and turns the other cheek and says, 'Lord, forgive them for they know not what they're doing.' I'm probably more of an Old Testament guy. You spear our guy in the earhole, we think we're supposed to spear you in the earhole. That's kind of where we're a little different."
Auburn
On a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Clemson
On the Death Valley nickname: "Most of our guys have never been to Death Valley. (LSU's stadium) is the Death Valley, isn't it? Or is there another one? There's two of them. That's right. There's two Death Valleys."
On the state of the South Carolina program (widely attributed, but probably not an original): "We aren't LSU and we aren't Alabama. But we sure ain't Clemson."
On Dabo Swinney's anger over the above quote: "I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do? I didn't say it.' Smart people don't believe everything they read, and they don't believe hearsay. ... I guess Dabo believed it."