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The definitive guide to Mark May's Twitter, college football's great digital mystery

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Hello. I just read every Mark May tweet ever. This is what happened.

ESPN personality Mark May is the sole proprietor of a famous Twitter feed. From it we can learn many things about him, including that he remains a massive Pittsburgh Panthers homer, apparently watches no TV shows besides Burn Notice, and loves mentioning the name of the company that pays him to endorse its smart phone, despite his frustrations with smart phones.

Also, unless I missed one, he has never replied to anyone or retweeted anything and has shared very, very few links, and all of those are links to his own Facebook. He is his world entire.

Update: Mark May went months without tweeting in late 2013, then bombed out many days' worth of social media content all at once. We think he was accidentally saving all his tweets as drafts instead of sending them, then one day hit Send All Drafts.

Here are other things we can learn about him:

He is often a man of few words.

He hates Ohio State and Danica Patrick and Boise State.

One Ohio State fan has responded to many, many of his tweets with the following, in reference to the 1996 Ohio State-Pitt game:

He used to scream a lot, but not so much anymore. From the vaults:

Do you guys know how to post videos to Facebook?

He is often incorrect.

Only he may criticize fellow ESPN employees.

He has still-unresolved Part 1 tweets.

Technically, Mecca is the mecca of camaraderie, Mark May.

Donald Trump stole his ice cream on a Disney cruise.