Editor's note: Bored High School Student received an F for this paper, which is terrible in every way.
With the College Football Playoff 2014 selection committy about to do its selections for the first time, the question has to be asked by man, woman, and child: what is the selection committy. It is an important question for our times. College football 2014 will never be the same because of selection, and it's either get with the future or get stuck in the past! Here is an insider look at the inner workings of these mysterious people as well as a few comparisons and contrastisons so you can really see what is what.
Actually explaining the Playoff!
Actually explaining the Playoff!
My dad says it is spelled "committee" and that contrastisons is not a word, but I'm still mad at him because he won't let me bring a chainsaw to school. It's just for showing off! If you bring a chainsaw to school you are basically the raddest kid of all time and I bet you don't have to do homework.
Some people claim that College football is American football played by teams of student athletes fielded by American universities, colleges, and military academies, or Canadian football played by teams of student athletes fielded by Canadian universities. It was through college football play that American football rules first gained popularity in the United States.
The best thing about the committee is that they are picking four teams that will play for the College Football Championship 2014. I know what you are thinking—how can four teams play at once?!?! (chuckles) I'm glad you asked. You can't have four teams on the field at once because that is too many! So to fix this problem the committee has invented a four-team "playoff" to choose the right teams to play for the college football championship 2014. It is believed to be the first playoff in all of college sports.
The word playoff comes from two words: "play" and "off." The play refers to playing college football, and the off means if you don't win your game you are off the list of teams that can win the title! It could be called a "playout" for this reason. I bet the College Football Playoff Comittee 2014 will think about changing the name to a playout.
First of all there are 13 people on the committee except now there are 12. There was 13 but then RG Manning had to leave because Payton Manning is still playing football and it's like what would you rather do, watch stupid college football or pro where the real men play. I bet everyone on the committee feels pretty dumb because they aren't on the NFL Playoffs 2014 committee.
RG Manning is a good guy to have on the committee except he is not on it now, because he used to play college football and NFL football! If you think his connection to the sports world ends there you are WRONG. He is also a grandpa to 2 NFL football 2014 quarterbacks: Payton Manning and RG3. You might notice that these guys do not look anything alike so how can they be related but you are not aloud to ask those questions in 2014. That is the biggest lesson that you will find in sports and life.
Every committee needs a chairmen, and they chose Jeff Long to be the chairmen of the boarded. This is a diffucult decision because what if the chairmen convinces everyone to pick favorites that are not the right favorites? That is called conflictive interest. Fortunately Arkansas will never go to the College Football Playoff Championship so there is no worry there. There are many factors in how you let everyone in your SEC division beat you.
If someone on the committee gets angry about the decisions I bet they will maybe say "We can do this the right way or the Long way" and then everyone will laugh or get very serious. Chairmen Long will probably say "your fired!" and then the committee will have even lesser people than before. It is truly a race to the finish to see if you can keep from getting fired if Jeff Long is a tyrant. That could be the biggest factor of all.
When you look at the other 11 members of the selection committee you will see so much expertise your head will literably explode. Whoa! Tom Osborn is a former Nebraska head coach and Nebraska athletic director. He is hoping to director this committee to the right selections. Does he make everyone call him "Coach"? There is no way to tell but he should. His best coaching is when he made Tommy Frazier into basically the best football player ever, and I bet it makes Osborn really angry that Nebraska has no Tommy Fraziers anymore. Nobody is even close! Nebraska had to go to the Big Ten because it is okay to be sucky at football there.
If that is not enough to get you really excited about College Football Playoff 2014, check this out; Condy Rice! Yep that's right, the same one who was Secretary of State! My aunt Jane says it is unfair that women are only given secretery jobs in the Federal Goverment or something. Now that Condolences Rice is on the committee I bet she is like "who's the secratary now!" If she makes a man be her secretary that is reverse sexist which is just as bad. Aunt Jane says there is a glass ceiling in Washington and that seems kind of stupid because you would look up and see people's butts and shoes. Maybe they do that so if you leave a light on upstairs you can get the light down through the glass ceiling too. Except if there is a rug? It still seems kinda dangerous though, it's like the saying says, if you live in a glass ceiling you shouldn't through stones. It will break the glass and then everyone is in real trouble. First it's the glass falling on you and then all the office furniture that was on the glass floor! If a desk falls through glass and hits you, it's probably lights out.....no pun intended!!!
There are no other ladies on the committee because one is enough.
Here are some other names to wet your whistle for College Football Playoff 2014. See if you can believe this. Berry Alverez! He was the Wisconsin coach before he retired and gave the job to Brent Belema. And then Chairmen Long hired him at Arkansas Razorbacks! There could be some big-time friction there and I bet maybe they have faught fistfights a lot over that. Nobody is talking about the Beliema angle but it is the biggest story in the Playoff Committee 2014! There are so many factors to consider that no one man can consider them all.
Also there is a real life air force guy on the committee! Check this out whoa
I bet he doesn't know the first thing about football but thats okay, you have to have an army guy on your comittee because he knows a whole lot about not taking any of your crap! That is how milatary guys talk. He will dispense milatary justice if the selection discussion goes bad, I bet you anything. "Don't talk about Ohio St. Buckeyes anymore, are you kidding me! Drop and give me 20 pushups!" Then you have to. You do not want to mess up around the army guy at all. Get your compares and contrasts straight or don't even walk through that door! That would be a good sign to put up on the door, to let everyone know this is serious man business and lady business.
There are many other members of the committee to compare and contrast. You can use Wikepedia to find out all the right information. Just point your browser at Wikepedia.com and you're all set. You can learn all about Mike Trainedgeese and Pat Hayden, who played the Coach on oldies sitcom "Coach." Like I said there is so much football expertise your head will spin!!
College Football Playoff
Now that the committee's cridentials have been compared and contrasted, it is time to get down to the business of the day: picking the four teams. The College Football Selection Playoff Committee 2014 will announce all the teams on Sunday nights from now until it is Playoff Time. If you get named in the Top 4, you are in like Flin! But it is only October right now so this is totally worthless maybe. Only time will tell if the committee gets it right or has to appologize for all the teams they picked by misteak. This will be on ESPN and not one of the dumb sports channels.
When you have to pick four teams there are gonna be a lot of Angry Andersons who's teams are not in College Football Playoff 2014. That means it will be time for serious questions from the meadia. ESPN will be like "what is this nonsense!" or "this is really good!" Maybe it will say both. That way there will be something to represent the view points of all fans in Sports Nation. That is what ESPN stands for. Every Sports Person Nation. Did you know that?
The selection committee process is a secret but not really. Apparently "every game count's" but I am not sure why because most teams play some really dumb games against total nobodys like Florida International U and Southern Alabama and Syracuse. Nobody cares basically! You should get penelized for playing dumb teams! If they do not kick weak schedules out then someone should be fired. That's my one man's sports opinion at least.
The College Football 2014 Champion trophy looks like perenthecies. (sp?) There is no parenthesies about being the College Football 2014 Champion though! That is what everybody is setting out to accomplish this year and every year now that there is a college football playoff.
Also apparantly you are supposed to be a conference champion to impress the College Football Committee 2014 but last I checked there are no champions yet. It is only October 2014! Duh. That means this is all a sham maybe. You should right your Congressmen and tell him or her to get the committee under control once and for all. Ethics are very important in everything you do in life, like video games. If you are not ethicle people can threaten to murder you!!! That is how serious everything is.
There will be more college football rankings every week from now until the end of the College Football 2014 Reg. Season, so get used to the contraversy. Only time will tell if your team is in the College Football Playoffs 2014 or has to go home or to the Bulk Bowl. The compares and contrasts start now! Thanks for reading.