Ranking 60 college football rivalry trophies

Nothing so clearly screams college football as Rivalry Week, when giant axes, territorial cups, and ruby-adorned Gaelic war clubs crash through our television screens. The traveling trophy game distills what's loved most about the sport and pumps it directly into our veins.

At the same time, trophy games are reduced to mere data points by a proliferating sports analytics sector and the Playoff committee, which in theory gleans insight from it. Composite rankings, whether dished in Tuesday night dictums, S&P+ ratings, or your fave power index of choice, are woven into every corner of modern college football.

And yet these two had never collided. Until now, Program A and Program B have been allowed to believe their own cherished trophy game is the best in the land (or at least not the worst). This is unacceptable. Modern America demands a pecking order. And statistics better be part of it.

Trophy			Years awarded	Competitiveness	Top-10 teams	Draft picks	Trophy sweetness	Total
1. Golden Hat	Oklahoma	Texas	73	0.480	64	371	12	86.30
2. Jeweled Shillelagh	USC	Notre Dame	62	0.500	66	468	10	81.60
3. Floyd of Rosedale	Minnesota	Iowa	79	0.400	25	206	14	80.81
4. Victory Bell	USC	UCLA	75	0.540	46	421	11	79.68
5. Old Oaken Bucket	Indiana	Purdue	89	0.360	7	163	14	75.75
6. FOY-ODK Sportsmanship	Alabama	Auburn	66	0.480	57	322	9	74.35
7. Bronze Boot	Wyoming	Colorado State	46	0.400	1	97	14	74.28
8. Paniolo Trophy	Hawaii	Wyoming	35	0.400	1	95	14	73.68
9. Territorial Cup	Arizona	Arizona State	115	0.480	9	264	10	72.37
10. Stanford Axe	California	Stanford	81	0.360	15	348	12	71.85
11. Magnolia Bowl	LSU	Ole Miss	6	0.600	33	195	12	71.40
12. Paul Bunyan	Michigan	Michigan State	61	0.560	52	318	9	70.89
13. Paul Bunyan's Axe	Wisconsin	Minnesota	66	0.760	23	215	14	70.32
14. Golden Boot	Arkansas	LSU	22	0.391	37	293	11	70.04
15. Purdue Cannon	Purdue	Illinois	71	0.579	11	214	11	69.62
16. Illibuck	Ohio State	Illinois	89	0.696	41	337	11	69.42
17. Golden Egg	Ole Miss	Mississippi State	87	0.480	11	81	10	69.24
18. Cy-Hawk	Iowa	Iowa State	37	0.680	15	179	12	65.33
19. Fremont Cannon	Nevada	UNLV	44	0.682	0	42	13	65.18
20. Megaphone	Notre Dame	Michigan State	65	0.565	50	348	7	64.15
21. Wagon Wheel	Akron	Kent State	69	0.667	0	30	12	63.93
22. Oil Can	Fresno State	San Diego St	5	0.583	0	167	11	63.72
23. Victory Bell	Miami (Ohio)	Cincinnati	115	0.380	4	85	10	63.70
24. Frank Leahy Memorial Bowl	Boston College	Notre Dame	39	0.474	40	310	7	63.20
25. O'Rourke-McFadden	Boston College	Clemson	6	0.400	11	245	10	61.93
26. Legends Trophy	Notre Dame	Stanford	25	0.609	45	342	8	61.91
27. Little Brown Jug	Michigan	Minnesota	111	0.905	48	261	12	61.62
28. Ram-Falcon	Air Force	Colorado State	34	0.520	2	65	9	61.59
29. Keg of Nails	Louisville	Cincinnati	85	0.636	3	129	10	61.48
30. Bedlam Bell	Oklahoma	Oklahoma State	48	0.740	42	279	10	60.80
31. The Saddle	TCU	Texas Tech	53	0.364	4	147	10	60.12
32. Okefenokee Oar	Florida	Georgia	5	0.760	36	380	10	57.51
33. Heartland Trophy	Iowa	Wisconsin	10	0.571	28	265	7	56.67
34. Heroes Trophy	Nebraska	Iowa	3	0.800	45	359	10	56.14
35. Old Brass Spittoon	Michigan State	Indiana	64	0.810	16	196	11	55.95
36. Chancellor's Spurs	Texas	Texas Tech	18	0.760	25	242	10	55.05
37. Silver Spade	UTEP	New Mexico State	59	0.652	0	59	9	54.62
38. Apple Cup	Washington	Washington State	52	0.680	16	258	8	53.78
39. Land of Lincoln	Illinois	Northwestern	5	0.440	11	164	7	53.42
40. Don Shula Award	Florida Atlantic	Florida International	12	0.636	0	11	9	52.57
41. Platypus	Oregon	Oregon State	55	0.680	12	171	8	52.41
42. Governor's Cup	Kentucky	Louisville	20	0.400	4	159	7	50.69
43. Land Grant Trophy	Michigan State	Penn State	21	0.278	38	350	7	50.62
44. Governor's Cup	Georgia	Georgia Tech	19	0.760	31	271	8	49.66
45. Governor's Victory Bell	Minnesota	Penn State	21	0.385	34	293	5	49.15
46. Governor's Cup	Kansas	Kansas State	45	0.280	9	139	8	48.68
47. Centennial Cup	Colorado	Colorado State	28	0.667	8	214	7	48.30
48. Victory Cannon	Central Michigan	Western Michigan	3	0.600	0	38	7	47.90
49. Milk Can	Boise State	Fresno State	8	0.800	4	117	9	44.28
50. Bronze Stalk	Ball State	Northern Illinois	6	0.278	0	44	8	44.11
51. Jefferson-Eppes	Florida State	Virginia	18	0.833	18	295	8	43.50
52. Hardee's Trophy (changing in 2015)	Clemson	South Carolina	15	0.600	10	249	4	42.30
53. Battle of I-75	Toledo	Bowling Green	3	0.600	0	38	5	41.23
54. Commonwealth Cup	Virginia	Virginia Tech	18	0.240	7	206	6	38.61
55. Shillelagh	Notre Dame	Purdue	57	0.800	41	315	4	37.91
56. Victory Bell	North Carolina	Duke	66	0.880	12	167	7	37.61
57. Iron Skillet	TCU	SMU	68	0.760	10	126	5	37.51
58. The Bell	Ohio	Marshall	17	0.286	1	30	4	31.84
59. Anniversary Award	Kent State	Bowling Green	29	0.250	0	42	4	30.31
60. Textile Bowl	Clemson	NC State	33	0.720	7	248	2	28.91

FBS games between two teams only, though there are plenty of lower-level trophy games and three-team trophies. To qualify, the trophy series needs to be scheduled for 2014 or for upcoming years. Trophy series starting in last few years (without significant series history before) are not included.

There are five criteria, and they are weighed differently.

Whether older is better or not, there is a lot to be said for the passing down of relics through the generations. So in a nod to sepia-toned times past, I take into consideration how many years have passed since the trophy was first awarded (the more, the better). This is 5 percent of the total score.

Series competitiveness over the last 25 years is another factor. This is important, determining 30 percent of the total score. A true rivalry cannot flourish unless each side believes it can win. The closer each team comes to winning half of its games in the series' recent history, the better.

A good series should spotlight really good players. So one category, worth 5 percent of the total, is how many NFL Draft picks the rival programs have produced since 1975.

Better players usually mean better teams and more passion swirling around the big game. That's where the teams' combined all-time number of regular season finishes in the Associated Press top 10 steps in. This metric does shackle the less-established teams that weren't major programs a few decades ago. But it counts for only 10 percent of the rivalry's total score.

My final category is subjective. It's a judgment of how cool the trophy looks, how colorful its past is, and the emotional connection players and students appear to have with it. I call it the Trophy Sweetness metric, and I go into detail about its components here. It's worth half of the total score. If Program A and B outsourced their trophy's traditions to a chamber of commerce, that is a very bad thing.

Minnesota might have the country's greatest trophy tradition; an AP poll ranked three Gopher trophy games atop the nation's best. Jesse Johnson, USA Today

The Textile Bowl musters only two points from a maximum of 15 because it is profoundly non-awesome. The game has been more of an opportunity for the school's textile programs to hobnob than a venue for top-notch ACC football. There's nothing special about the trophy itself. Compare this to a far more awesome trophy, such as the Paul Bunyan Axe Minnesota and Wisconsin will play for this weekend.

Jeff Hanisch, USA Today

You'll notice the list is symptomatic of the rich getting richer. Oklahoma and Texas always rank highly in all-time polls or NFL Draft pick totals. What sends them to the top here is a super-tight series since 1990 and legitimately cool trophy.

The Golden Hat is one of three trophies involved in OU-Texas, but it is the only one given at the end of the game played every year in October in Dallas' Cotton Bowl. In 1941, the State Fair of Texas was so appreciative the schools played during the event that the organization awarded a bronzed (now gold) 10-gallon hat for the game.

Matthew Emmons, USA Today

For the most part, incendiary official nicknames like "Red River Shootout" and accompanying firearms have exited the stadium. Smaller schools in the Mountain states provide a bit of kickback to this trend. Last year, Utah State and Wyoming started using a straight-up rifle as a trophy.

University of Wyoming

If there's one thing Wyoming should be known for, it's trophy awesomeness. Its series with Hawaii -- the nation's most farflung rivalry -- features a piece of bronze depicting the first Hawaiian inducted into the National Rodeo Hall of Fame.

University of Hawaii

Wyoming also battles Colorado State for the bronzed boot of a Vietnam veteran. Each year, one school's ROTC detachment runs the game ball to the state border. Those detachments meet, exchange the game ball, and hurry on foot to the stadium hosting the game. That's up to 39 miles of highway running.

Trophy games are sprouting with unprecedented frequency in the SEC. Starting earlier this season, the winners of South Carolina-Texas A&M get a statue of a South Carolinian hero at the Alamo. Unfortunately, it goes to the winning state governor, not the players.

Here is this James Bonham trophy traded between the governors of SC and Texas for the @UofSC-@TAMU series pic.twitter.com/3CPIj07ZBu

— Andy Shain (@AndyShain) August 27, 2014

This Friday, Arkansas and Missouri kick off their recently coined Battle Line Rivalry brought to you by Shelter Insurance. When that game begins using a trophy, it will be the Hogs' second, still a far cry from the trophy-saturated Big Ten climes from which the Razorback head coach hails.

Arkansas winning the Golden Boot from LSU two weeks ago. Jasen Vinlove, USA Today

I asked Bret Bielema, former Wisconsin coach, why he thinks the trophy game hasn't proliferated in the South like in the Midwest.

"It's hard to replace 50 years of history," he said. "The Paul Bunyan Axe has meant a lot for a long time to a lot of different people. So has the Floyd of Rosedale. I think it's really up to the head coach to emphasize it. I put a huge emphasis on trophy games."