clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

HEY FBS TEAMS, STOP PLAYING NORTH DAKOTA STATE

New, comments

Two years ago, we warned Power 5 teams against playing North Dakota State. Iowa didn't listen.

[Hey, we wrote this post in 2014. But due to recent developments, we decided to re-run it after North Dakota State beat Iowa. Apparently, FBS teams still need to be warned about not playing North Dakota State. The original post -- with some additions -- is below.]

Dear FBS college football teams,

You are allowed to play one or so teams from the lower half of Division I, the FCS, per season. These games are hypothetically easy to win, since you are allowed to have more scholarships than FCS teams, and top recruits typically choose more prestigious FBS programs over FCS programs.

Also, winning is the primary thing you are trying to do when you play a football game. Winning is fun, and the people who root for your team will like it if you win.

Therefore, these FCS teams, knowing that they are at a disadvantage, will ask you to pay them money to play against them.

With this in mind, we have a tip:

DO NOT PLAY NORTH DAKOTA STATE.

DON'T DO IT.

DON'T EVER DO IT.

North Dakota State is better than you. If you pay them to play you, they will take your money and kick the hell out of you. We wrote about them being better than you last year, and we are writing about them being better than you now.

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY NDSU

North Dakota State took $350,000 from Iowa State and won. Demolished them, really, 34-14. They outgained them 495-253. This was not a close football game, by any means.

The year before they took $350,000 from Kansas State and beat them, running for 215 yards in a 24-21 win. Before that, it was Minnesota, and before that, Kansas. [Update: They got $500,000 to beat Iowa, bringing their total for these wins to over $2 million.]

In their last five FBS games, they've taken five paychecks in exchange for five beatings. [Update: Yup, it's six now.!]

At this point, we can no longer call these upsets. North Dakota State was favored by six against Iowa State. This is just what's supposed to happen if you agree to play against North Dakota State.

The lower-level teams that play against NDSU don't have a choice. The Bison have won three straight titles, and they might very well win a fourth this year, and there's not much Incarnate Word or whoever can do about that. [Update: Yup, they're up to five.]

But you, the FBS teams dumb enough to schedule them? You're paying somebody to dig your own grave.

Next up is Iowa, in 2016. We look forward to writing this same post in two years.

[Update: Next is Oregon in 2020. We look forward to writing this same post in four years.]