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Where the Cincinnati Bearcats rank in the national stats despite not playing yet

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Because of reasons, Tommy Tuberville's team finally gets around to playing its first game Friday night ... of Week 3.

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Having nothing better to do, Cincinnati's head coach spent Saturday at Auburn's game.
Having nothing better to do, Cincinnati's head coach spent Saturday at Auburn's game.
Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports

Why did two Cincinnati bye weeks come within the first two weeks of the college football season? There are explanations, but they don't concern us at this moment.

While we're saying goodbye to the surreal splendor of fall camp reports emanating from the Bearcats during Week 2, as Cincinnati's actually hosting Toledo for a football game this week, let's also goof around at and appreciate the relatively okay job done so far by UC.


  • Cincinnati's rushing offense ranks ahead of SMU's (negative-8 yards per game and negative-.41 yards per carry through two games).
  • Vanderbilt (two games) and Cincinnati have the same number of red zone touchdowns.
  • Cincinnati has as many passing touchdowns as 11 teams, including Hawaii, which has thrown 94 passes.
  • Eastern Michigan (two games) has only one more 20-yard gain than Cincinnati has, and Fiesta Bowl champ UCF (one game) is among three teams with only one more 10-yard rush than Cincinnati has.
  • Miami has only three more third-down conversions than Cincinnati does, with 23 attempts in two games.
  • The Cincinnati offense is the country's most disaster-proof, having avoided any penalties, turnovers, or sacks all season.

Special teams

  • Cincinnati has converted as many extra points as SMU, which did not get to try after scoring its only touchdown of the year, since it was the last play of a loss.
  • Through two games, Ole Miss has three more kick return yards than Cincinnati has, and three teams have gathered no return yardage.
  • Cincinnati's punt return unit has gained more yardage than five teams, including Clemson and Wisconsin. And SMU. SMU is all over the place here.
  • Cincinnati has booted as many touchbacks as five teams, including a combined 23 tries by New Mexico State and Wisconsin.
  • Cincinnati has given up no special teams touchdowns or allowed any return yardage of any sort or done anything bad at all.


  • Cincinnati has forced as many turnovers as 11 teams, including Michigan, which so far this year has finished its rivalries with Appalachian State and Notre Dame.
  • Cincinnati has sacked as many quarterbacks as two other teams who have sacked no quarterbacks. I do not know who those teams are.
  • Cincinnati's defense ranks as the best of all time through two weeks, as it has given up no yards.

That's all pretty weird. But get ready.