This Week In Schadenfreude, where it's Florida State anger vs. Miami anger

I'd like to peel back the curtain a bit in this week's column. There are two schools of thought as to where you go to find the best Internet anger.

One sentiment is that sudden, gut-wrenching losses -- like FSU's defeat at the hands of Georgia Tech on a blocked field goal ran back for a touchdown -- are the best opportunities for Schadenfreude, because that's an emotional form of whiplash. The opposing view says you look for the worst beatdown, a sustained, 60-minute crushing that gives fans plenty of time to stew in their own misery, like, say, Miami suffering the worst loss in school history at the hands of Clemson.

Here's the thing: They're both really good, just in different ways. (And yes, I recognize that I've singled out the ACC this week, opening me up to accusations of bias. That's fine, because it's important to harvest bile sustainably. Whenever you take some out, you plant the seeds for growth of furious comments.) Observe!

FLORIDA STATE

I'm not being entirely fair, because this Tomahawk Nation commenter is right about kicker Roberto Aguayo's abilities, but it's always fun to see comments like this right before disaster strikes.

Pfft Aguyo can hit 80 yarders all day

"You're far more likely to die in a car accident than a plane crash!" [oxygen masks deploy].

OL SUCKS ASS

Fucking choke job
Complete. Choke

Golson is terrible
Offensive line is terrible. Youth is no excuse for this garbage.

Worst FSU team in a long long time.

You either have incredibly high standards or you're experiencing an unusual form of time dilation. Please consult a doctor and confirm that your body is not traveling at or near the speed of light.

We've had our Kick Six/Agony in Ann Arbor.
Enjoy the vitriol. The entire country just blew their load.

And Europeans accuse American society of being too puritanical.

This is on Coker for transferring

annoying as crap when all teams play their best only against FSU. seems thats all teams care about in our conference. don't give a crap about their season as a whole just want to beat FSU

I was going to call this a totally ridiculous comment, but then I remembered the Wake Forest-Georgia Tech ACC Championship.

As much as I hate him
Can you imagine what Art Briles could do with this offense? Tired of the "young" BS. Have more talent than 85% of the country and 100% of the teams we play but refuse to use a more open offense that takes advantage of the talent.

I feel like Mortimer Duke at the end of Trading Places

I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back on!

Winston made Jimbo the last 2 years
Now back to regular scheduled head scratching Jimbo losses

That's what we're looking for right there. Replace Jameis Winston with Cam Newton and Jimbo Fisher with Gene Chizik. You'll be the offensive coordinator at Syracuse in four years, Jimbo.

The bile continues at Noles 247.

We got fucking Auburned.

Fuck this team.

Golson is a smaller EJ Manuel.....wow

I'm trying to decide which quarterback would feel shittier about this comparison, and now I just feel sad.

FSU LOST THIS GAME BECAUSE THEY QUIT!
I cannot believe I just watched the entire team literally stand still and watch GT score that last TD.

When Do People Accept That This Is What Jimbo Does....
2010 UNC/NCSU in back to back games, 2011 Wake Forrest and Virginia, 2012 NCSU, 2013 was our best team ever, 2014 we could have easily lost 3 games had it not been for Jameis bailing the entire team out, 2015 now GT. Jimbo chokes against terrible teams, thats what he does. Clock mismanagement, team mismanagement, the team being flat, terrible assistants, over thinking every situation, not going for the kill shot, whatever you want to call it, shitting the bed is standard operating procedure for Jimbo at this point.

Outside of 2013 and just barely 2014, Jimbo loses a game to an opponent that he has no business losing to almost every year. Or at least every year he doesnt have one of our programs best teams (one could argue 2012 was just that and he still shit his diaper against Tom Obrien of all people and a terrible NCSU team). This is why Jimbo is never mentioned in the same breath as Urban and Saban; we recruit on the same level, have the same depth, talent, etc., but they dont go out and lose games to Purdue/Kentucky regularly and Jimbo does.

The record speaks for itself.

Hi, I'm a Florida fan, here to remind you that Fisher is 64-12 as a head coach and has finished in the top 10 for three consecutive years. The list of Power 5 schools that wouldn't take him over their current coaches is MAYBE 10 teams long. But you should totally fire him tomorrow.

My 4 year Old cried last night.
He runs upstairs crying saying "Florida State didn't win daddy!". It really bothered him. This is only the SECOND loss he's seen. It was a surreal feeling that I was my consoling my 4 year old after his favorite team lost a football game.

They better fix this shit and soon! My son deserves better than this!

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
It will kill them if we lose to NC Staaaaaaaaaaaate

Roberto
Why wasnt he warming up, he was standing on sidelines like it was sunday morning. On tv, he didnt seem to get any warmup kicks. He has been off all year

FAILED STRETCHIN' UNIVERSITY.

Elite Recruiting=
2 years of barely winning football games against why less talented teams. Stop blaming all of it on youth. Other teams play with youth as well. We should be blowing these weak ass teams in our conference away.

It's more than just winning...it's dominating with the so called talent I'm looking for.

You are only as good as your assistant coaches. Jimbo needs to fire himself as OC and fire Kelly and leave everything else alone. Please Jimbo just give the reins over to someone else with fire!

"Jimbo, you're fired."
"Well, that's fair, Jimbo. I hope you'll serve as a good reference for future employers."
"You betcha, Jimbo."

Our next and final Florida State stop is Warchant.

Winston was responsible for the past 2 years. Jimbo has always been choke artist.

Jameis Winston came to Florida State perfect and without football flaw, and he alone brought them to great heights. Chris Rix was actually the starter in that Rose Bowl last season against Oregon, but ESPN won't tell you that, will they?

Holy cow - Jimbo is not going to have the consensus overall #1 draft pick every year - if that's what he needs to win over limited and less talented teams we should probably look elsewhere for our head coach.

You know who's never produced a No. 1 overall pick? Rutgers, that's who. Kyle Flood's been making lunch with expired cold cuts for years. I think he's earned a shot with the Noles.

Changes need to be made or we are looking at another lost decade before something is done. We've had many top recruiting classes and this is the best we got? Not acceptable! This is FSU! Call me spoiled? To hell with you! You say that because YOU are a LOSER! Not me, I'm a winner and I expect FSU to dominate college football like we did '87-'99 and '13. No excuses!!! Get it together FSU! Performances like last night won't cut it. Get your shit together Noles!!!!!!!!!

Jimbo is so overrated. I am right on this and will not go down without expressing this fact. He's a good coach but he's in a CAKE conference.. And he knows that.

UF lost to LSU.. And gave one heck of a fight. We lost to GT! No Talent GT! They're BUMS compared to LSU. And who here gives McElwain any credit. He could be better than Jimbo in the ACC.

Please.. Let's get tough. Let's have the coaches bama wants to steal from us.

Un****ingbelievable!!!!

This FSU team sucks like none I've ever seen in my life. I've never seen so many stupid mistakes from a football team. How goddamn pathetic!!!

Seems we found someone who didn't watch that aforementioned Clemson-Miami game.

Speaking of!

MIAMI

Unlike their in-state conference neighbors, Hurricanes fans are accustomed to a certain level of failure. They have seen the Canes lose to mediocre teams and lose badly to good ones. Most supporters probably didn't expect to beat Clemson. Of course, as you can see from State of the U, they didn't expect to be stomped into history, either.

Am I the only person that thinks this loss is awesome?
I mean, not only do we suck, but we REALLY SUCK!! If these goobers bring this imbecile back next year then I'm burning all my canes stuff. Now don't get me wrong, I fully expect to see Paterno Jr back on the sidelines next season, but damn, what does it take to get fired at Miami?

58-0, as it turns out. (Please note that all of this week's Miami comments were made before Al Golden was shown the door.)

Once again, I had to be the recipient of my wife's comment of "I thought you said your team was going to be good this year?" My wife is from Russia, knows nothing of American football,
But her comment in the 1st quarter after it was 21-0 is priceless.., "ooohhh, your team is suck!"

Thanks Al Folden!!!

She can understand when a five-year plan fails miserably.

At this point I'd take Randy Shannon back

OUCH.

I have to believe there's a conspiracy between the school President and the AD
to get rid of the football program completely. The various administrations have been trying since the 80's and I think they've found a way. Get dominated every season, just get progressively worse until nobody gives a damn anymore.

Kool-aid anyone???? I've got all kinds of flavors - Soul crushing sweet berry, We suck watermelon and my favorite Chumps on national tv cherry...

Jonestown didn't have a stadium on campus either.

You're up, InsideTheU.

Time for a set up.....to get rid of Golden shower
We will need someone on the inside maybe a janitor, either meth/coke/crack/heroin, hidden camera with wifi capabilities, and a hooker....maybe Sapp or Irvin could help us getting some of these things.

Let's do this ...who is with me.

"Michael Irvin, with the heroin syringe, in the janitor's closet." Miami Clue is definitely not a board game for kids.

Fuck Al Golden. When he's fired this offseason, we should start next season with a public decapitation of Al Golden at mid field 10 minutes prior to kickoff to get the team and fans hype.

Well, that certainly got dark. Maybe things will be more lighthearted at CanesInSight.

I hope watching this game...
...gave Donna Shalala another stroke.

And maybe not.

ONCE WE WERE FEARED
Now we are a joke! Never this bad, even in the old days. Just disgusting, unforgivable, asinine, and A ####ING DISGRACE! Was out of town but heard about this meltdown. WHY ISN'T THIS SMELLY POS GONE ALREADY??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! GEEBUZ ON A UNICYCLE> WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE TO GET RID OF THIS MORON? DO WE HAVE ANY PRIDE LEFT????????????

Somewhere in JOISY A VILLAGE HAS BEEN MISSING ITS IDIOT!

I'm in tears man
Our legacy is going down the drain

We're Not Winning Another Game This Year. Worst Season in..
UM HISTORY! Worst HC in cfb history + Worst AD in cfb history = Program is DEAD.

But most of us knew how obviously terrible this season was going to be... Blake keeps patting us on the head like the real fans who give a shxt about this football program are some slow little children that don't know any better. If he died today it would be a holiday!

"Why are classes canceled on Monday?"
"It's the anniversary of the A.D.'s death."
"Oh, he must have been beloved."
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ..."

Anyone who goes to home games ia a F'ing Traitor
I don't even care if your kid is on the team or if you are a member of media covering the team.

That's why your dad didn't come to your soccer games. He was sending a message to that idiot of a volunteer coach!

Being a Miami fan is like being a kid whose parents died and you are being raised by your drunk uncle. You have fond memories of what it was like to have parents. The good times. But then your uncle throws up in your new shoes. In front of your friends. You're embarrassed. Ashamed. But you still feel for him because he is trying to help you even though he is bad at it.

Except you were rooting for your uncle to die, and he did. Orphan party!

only people i feel bad for are the kids. f**k the coaches, the administration and anyone who continued to donate to support this abomination.

Who was more toxic to UM: Al Golden or Nevin Shapiro?
i say Golden

at least Shapiro paid players for big plays and got them laid, drunk and looking good in nice clothes and cars

Golden has done nothing but kill their draft stocks

And there's the solution: Nevin Shapiro, head coach, Miami Hurricanes.