National toy retailer Toys "R" Us recently announced its new CEO, Dave Brandon, formerly the very unsuccessful athletic director at the University of Michigan. Since the company has apparently ignored all warning signs, we're here to help parents and other potential customers know exactly what they're going to get into.
"I don't care that a pedal car fell on your head. Go out there and push some damn stuffed animals."
Get ready for $3,000 swing sets, parents!
"I suggest you find a new store to shop at. We will be fine without you. Also, Santa isn't real."
Buy any two Coca-Cola products, get two franchises free!
"The, uh, values we’re rolling out this holiday season are just TREMENDOUS." pic.twitter.com/mwSsRog6Xp— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) June 2, 2015
But on the plus side, corgis!
Protest corgi. pic.twitter.com/v25gWY1nre— Ace Anbender (@AceAnbender) September 30, 2014
Previously, Brandon was the CEO of Domino's Pizza, with varying results.
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