Sean Combs, best known to you young folks as Diddy, has done some crazy things in his time.
He stared down Godzilla, and while it was the 1998 iguana Godzilla, it's not like you've ever stared down Godzilla. He led the feds or whoever on a medium-speed chase while driving backwards. He courted beef with imposing gentlemen Suge Knight, 2Pac, and 50 Cent and suffered in no way other than being distracted from dancing. He formed a supergroup that included Fabolous in the year 2010. Once, he nearly released a gospel album and beat weapons charges in the same month.
But the craziest thing he's ever done? Getting into a fight with UCLA's strength coach.
Strength coaches are responsible for nothing other than making football players scarier. This requires inhuman intensity. Each strength coach's daily energy output can power the "Honey" video's sets for 35 minutes!
Pro strength coaches are wild people, but Diddy fought a college strength coach. College strength coaches are less hinged for one reason: they have to convince attention-deprived college students to work as hard as pro athletes do.
And since non-strength coaches can't work with players during summers, due to NCAA rules, it falls to strength coaches to be the only lines of defense between players and everything that isn't painful exercise. Dozens of players! It'd drive a normal person to the brink, but strength coaches are already well past.
Find some other coach to fight. Fight the band director. Fight a marketing professor. Fight the head coach; shoot, the former defensive coordinator almost fought UCLA's head coach on the sidelines once. This is basically right on:
@BrianMFloyd coach fighting power rankings Strength OL DL LB DC RB HC (used to be way higher but old) TE DB WR QB
— Matt (@dbbm52) June 22, 2015
Not listed: offensive coordinator. Diddy once ran a marathon, and therefore is fit enough to handle 65 percent of offensive coordinators.
I know you believe me, but still, this is a strength coach.
This is a strength coach. Combs wielded a kettlebell, but as can see here, weapons only make strength coaches more likely to yell stuff like HASHTAG #SWAGFAM2015 FAM at you.
This is that same strength coach, with fire.
This is a strength coach, whose job during games is rearranging humans.
This is a strength coach. He might not seem that scary, but turn your volume up. You will jump out of your seat when he says, "HUGE."
This is a strength coach. These people are invincible. Do not fight them.
This is a strength coach ... the very strength coach Combs went to war with.
Diddy might've ruined the end of "Last Night" by doing some of the worst commentary-track ad-libbing in a career full of it, fought someone over the "Hate Me Now" video being offensive despite the "Hate Me Now" video featuring himself, and ... well, you saw Making the Band.
The point is, all that might've been crazy of him, but that was nowhere near as crazy as fighting a college strength coach.
SB Nation presents: The craziness of Jim Harbaugh since he took over at Michigan