Mizzou fans now have their preferred starting QB (because the other one got suspended)

M-I-Z! Z-Oh-No! Missouri quarterback Maty Mauk and offensive lineman Malik Cuellar have been suspended for "disciplinary reasons related to violation of team policies." They will not play against South Carolina Saturday, and fan-favorite freshman QB Drew Lock will start.

We are four weeks into the season, and everybody stinks. Bud Elliott and Steven Godfrey examine why SEC preseason favorite Auburn stinks, and if Gus Malzahn was just really lucky two years ago. Oregon is sort of a trainwreck. In fact, all four teams that were in last year's Playoff have struggled to match last year. Central Florida is so bad that an Orlando bar is giving out free beer until the Knights win a game.

It's gotten so bad that the ACC -- not the Big 12, not the Pac-12, but the ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE -- is probably the second-best conference in the country.

This week's Podcast Ain't Played Nobody further explores the epidemic of mediocrity:

They were just planning his surprise birthday party. Maryland reportedly held a players-only meeting without notifying coach Randy Edsall. "That's news to me," he told reporters. Not news: his team lost by 32 against West Virginia last week.

Moore Moore Moore. With starting Cincinnati quarterback Gunner Kiel knocked out early in the Bearcats' game against Memphis last week, freshman Hayden Moore threw for a gaudy 557 yards in about three quarters. With Kiel still out, Moore will start this week against Miami.

Random name generator. We're four weeks in, and there is no consensus on who would be in the Playoff if the season ended today.

Random team eliminator. The Playoff picture should start to sort itself out this week with Alabama facing Georgia. The winner is likely in contention for the duration of the season. And Dan Rubenstein says that's going to be Alabama.

And they say Navy guys don't run. Navy Midshipmen quarterback Keenan Reynolds has quietly amassed 73 (!) career rushing touchdowns, just five shy of Montee Ball's FBS record and 12 short of the all-time Division I mark.

"Call Auburn Marshall Henderson 'cause they're throwing up threes against Miss State." Yep, Hatin' Ass Spurrier is back ...

... but for the first time, Actual Steve Spurrier has more street cred. The OBC knows who Boosie Badazz, f/k/a Lil Boosie, is.

In trouble yet again is NC State running back Shadrach Thornton, who was suspended for the Wolfpack's first two games, is accused of fleeing the scene of an accident.

Reunited, and it feels so good. Ohio State running back Ezekiel Elliott lost his dog, Chase, Monday night,, but fear not. He was found by local police, and Elliott and Chase have been reunited.

Everything's coming up Rosen. Bruins Nation examines UCLA's throttling of Arizona last week. The takeaway: Josh Rosen is good at football.

Strap match. South Alabama and Troy, Sun Belt rivals, will play for an actual championship belt.

Ranking teams by "resume" in September. Is that not only foolhardy, but hypocritical?

Underperforming: Texas A&M's offense?