Michigan drew and quartered Rutgers on Saturday night in Piscataway. The final score was 78-0, and Michigan outclassed Rutgers all night. There were glorious punt returns that got called back, and there was Jim Harbaugh going for two with a four-score lead on the Scarlet Knights for the second year in a row. But those were mere footnotes.
Rutgers has a bunch of weird beef with Michigan, much of it stemming from Harbaugh's staff's recruiting dominance in the Garden State. Rutgers has had no chill about Michigan, so on Saturday, Michigan clearly had no chill about eviscerating Rutgers on a barely comprehensible scale. Let's get into just how bad this was.
1. The 78-point margin was the biggest in an FBS-on-FBS game this millennium, according to the database at Sports Reference.
2. Rutgers had 6 (SIX!) yards of offense in the first half. That, ESPN said, was the fewest in the sport in almost two calendar years, since Wake Forest got 6 in the first half against Boston College.
Rutgers lost 7 yards on the first five plays of the second half, crossing into negatives for the day. The Scarlet Knights didn't for good get into the black in total yardage until about midway through the third quarter. They finished with a sterling 39, including 5 passing yards. Michigan had 600.
3. Rutgers did not get a first down until the fourth quarter. ESPN reported that the last team to play a major college football game and not get a first down was Western Carolina (against NC State) in 1990. The Knights gave it the old college try!
Here's how two fans responded when Rutgers moved the chains for the first time:
4. Total touchdowns: 11 for Michigan. Rutgers, uh, fewer.
5. Michigan's fullback, Khalid Hill, had three touchdowns. His backup, Bobby Henderson, had one himself and ran for 8.7 yards per carry.
6. Michigan's nine rushing TDs tied a school record, the team said.
S7. Michigan's average starting field position was its own 41-yard line. Rutgers' was its own 25.
8. Six Michigan players had more individual yards (in passing, rushing, or receiving) than all of Rutgers did, in total.
9. Rutgers' longest offensive play of the night went for 12 yards.
10. Rutgers completed 2 of 18 passes, and Michigan got four sacks.
11. Rutgers punted 16 (!) times.
12. Michigan was on to its third-string QB with more than 24 minutes left to play.
Rutgers' twitter account stopped providing live updates of the Michigan game at 14-0. Seven touchdowns ago pic.twitter.com/q3aQfuK9G9— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) October 9, 2016
14. The announced attendance at High Point Solutions Stadium: 53,292. That's 26,646 per Rutgers first down.
15. This rout comes 100 years and one day after Georgia Tech 222, Cumberland 0. Rutgers did better, but only so much so.
Here are some visual accounts that tell the story of Rutgers' night better than perhaps any number could:
Just look at him:
The mix of dismay, sadness, and anger exhibited here by Rutgers coach Chris Ash and this Rutgers student? I've seen it before, and it's not a pretty place. Best wishes to both of them in getting through it.
There's so much here that I've probably missed something extraordinary. If you see something, say something, and we'll make sure we have the fullest accounting possible of this carnage.