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Stanford coach jobs are named after former players like Andrew Luck. Every school should do this

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Andrew Luck at a 2016 Stanford basketball game
Andrew Luck at a 2016 Stanford basketball game
Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

You know Stanford's offensive coordinator is technically titled its Andrew Luck Director of Offense. A few other schools have positions like this, and the Cardinal have a few others also named after former players: David Shaw is actually the Bradford M. Freeman Director of Football, the defensive coordinator is the Willie Shaw Director of Defense, and as of this week, there's the Kevin M. Hogan Quarterbacks Coach.

More schools should do this*, mainly because it's another way to make sure no two things are ever the same about any two teams. Our sport is the least homogenous of them all, and we must keep pushing the needle, lest the X Games overtake us.

* The serious business that's happening here: those positions are endowed, meaning those namesakes are paying those coaches' salaries, more or less. It's like how players get paid, but within the rules and hundreds of thousands of dollars more per employee! So for those teams without a certain kind of wealthy alumni, let's just say we'll use Kenny Chesney's money. That guy likes every school.

They could be way too loaded with local baggage (the Georgia Herschel Walker Running Backs Chair, though every Bulldog who gains more than five yards on his first carry is doomed with this comparison anyway), or go for the opposite and give the depth chart some confidence (the Notre Dame Jimmy Clausen Directorship of Quarterbacking would mean a standard lots of folks can hit).

Or they could all just be mean, like EDSBS' recommendations:

  • Notre Dame's Brady Hoke Defensive Coordinator
  • Arizona State's Lane Kiffin Travel Coordinator
  • Bowling Green's Randy Edsall Career Advisor
  • Florida's Peyton Manning Defensive Backs Coach
  • The Auburn Dan Mullen Director of Alumni Contributions
  • The Bo Wallace Mississippi State Director of Charitable Giving
  • Oregon's Jameis Winston Turfgrass Specialist
  • Georgia Southern's Will Muschamp Lead Researcher for Swamp Draining

Normal spring games are pretty dumb. Instead, Rich Rodriguez just let fans take over the stadium, including one monstrous specimen who gave a Wildcat lineman all he could handle.

Bill C team of the day: New Mexico, where Bob Davie has dragged the corpse from beneath the desert sands. Now can he make it walk upright?

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Based on the cascade of words Jimbo Fisher's using rapidly this year, his expectations for Florida State are higher than last year.

I already miss Cardale Jones, college quarterback, so much, I'll watch him talk to Jon Gruden. I'm kidding. Jon Gruden is fine.

More rumors of what Chip Kelly was willing to trade in order to get Marcus Mariota to Philly! A lot, is the short version!

When Art Briles says Baylor and Michigan are both top-five programs (in light of Jim Harbaugh bringing his coaching staff to Waco for some Texas crootin') ... which ranking are we talking about?

Keyshawn Johnson's four-star son commits next week, perhaps to Nebraska. You are old.

Lovie Smith hired a non-NFL coach! That's a nice change of pace.

If Ohio State copies Michigan's Florida spring break stuff, we can all hope they end up at the same high school and have a food fight in the cafeteria, and get so wrapped up in their competition to rule the school they start attending classes, and next thing you know, J.T. Barrett's prom king. That's a lot to hope for.

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