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*In my most Fifth Grader Writing An Essay voice*
Webster's Dictionary defines a spoonerism as "a transposition of usually initial sounds of two or more words (as in tons of soil for sons of toil)." I start with this because for a long time, I joked around on the Internet with spoonerisms, but didn't know there was a term for it. So in the interest of informing people who are similarly situated as I once was on the topic, that's what a spoonerism is.
I've taken the liberty of ranking the spoonerized (?) names of every FBS college football head coach, from No. 1 to No. 128. I like to think these are the definitive rankings on the topic, but as with all things, you may feel free to strongly disagree with me. They're all good in their own way. Onward!
Stive-far Names
1. Dark Mantonio, Michigan State
2. Man Dullen, Mississippi State
3. Stick Rockstill, Middle Tennessee State
4. Sick Naban, Alabama
5. Bike Mobo, Colorado State
6. Godd Traham, Arizona State
7. Muck Chartin, Miami (Ohio)
8. Wank Frilson, UTSA
9. Monco Brendanhall, Virginia
10. Like Meach, Washington State
Narrowing down the field from a top 25 to a top 10 was extremely difficult. There are piles of extremely funny names here, and each one can tickle the reader's funny bone in its own unique way. The real winners here are the reading public.
11. Chraul Pyst, Wisconsin
12. Rim DeTuyter, Fresno State
13. Stob Boops, Oklahoma
14. Stark Moops, Kentucky
15. Him Jarbaugh, Michigan
16. Fat Pitzgerald, Northwestern
17. Krian Belly, Notre Dame
18. Haul Paynes, Kent State
19. Fillie Writz, Tulane
20. Gike Mundy, Oklahoma State
21. Meff Jonken, Army
22. Tummy Toberville, Cincinnati
23. Ake Blanderson, Arkansas State
24. Hark Mudspeth, UL-Lafayette
25. Berry Towden, Akron
26. Cill Bubit, Illinois*
*Make that Smovie Lith
27. Clacy Traeys, Minnesota
28. Hoc Dolliday, Marshall
29. Hark Melfrich, Oregon
30. Wobby Bilder, Old Dominion
Stour-far names
31. Fimbo Jisher, Florida State
32. Catt Mampbell, Iowa State
33. Dob Bavie, New Mexico
34. Frames Janklin, Penn State
35. Nat Parduzzi, Pittsburgh
36. Pary Gatterson, TCU
37. Mim L. Jora, UCLA
38. Sony Tanchez, UNLV
39. Hay Clelton, USC
40. Tillie Waggart, USF
41. Locky Rong, San Diego State
42. Sevin Kumlin, Texas A&M
43. Pris Chetersen, Washington
44. Mus Galzahn, Auburn
45. Parlie Chartridge, FAU
46. Mim JcElwain, Florida
47. Hip Skoltz, Louisiana Tech
48. Pian Brolian, Nevada
49. Mad Chorris, SMU
50. Fee J. Pleck, Western Michigan
51. Lad Brambert, Charlotte
52. Jike Minks, Bowling Green
53. Donny Sykes, California
54. Smirby Kart, Georgia
55. Wevin Kilson, Indiana
56. Firk Kerentz, Iowa
57. Pobby Betrino, Louisville
58. Dob Biaco, UConn
59. Fustin Juente, Virginia Tech
60. Hana Dolgorsen, West Virginia
61. Jaul Pohnson, Georgia Tech
62. Shavid Daw, Stanford
63. Hyan Brarsin, Boise State
64. Bohn Jonamego, Central Michigan
65. Syson Tummers, Georgia Southern
66. Hom Terman, Houston
67. Snill Byder, Kansas State
68. Farry Ledora, North Carolina
69. Con Raragher, San Jose State
70. Jutch Bones, Tennessee
Stee-thrar names
71. Cod Rarey, Northern Illinois
72. Sott Scatterfield, Appalachian State
73. Sabo Dwinney, Clemson
74. Cason Jandle, Toledo
75. Whark Mipple, UMass
76. Cavid Dutcliffe, Duke
77. Ment Triles, Georgia State
78. Rike Miley, Nebraska
79. Sank Frolich, Ohio
80. Bino Dabers, Syracuse
81. Bet Brielema, Arkansas
82. Make MicIntyre, Colorado
83. Mes Liles, LSU
84. Merban Uyer, Ohio State
85. Frugh Heeze, Ole Miss
86. Ratt Mhule, Temple
87. Starlie Chrong, Texas
88. Kiff Klingsbury, Texas Tech
89. Mil Phontgomery, Tulsa
90. Clave Dawson, Wake Forest
91. Breal Nown, Troy
92. Mottie Scontgomery, East Carolina
93. Ton Rurner, FIU
94. Pel Pautrino, Idaho
95. Dur J. Deekin, Maryland
96. Moug Dartin, New Mexico State
97. Bavid Dailiff, Rice
98. Mill Wuschamp, South Carolina
99. Hay Jopson, Southern Miss
100. Watt Mells, Utah State
101. Bavid Deaty, Kansas
102. Nike Morvell, Memphis
103. Rark Micht, Miami
104. Nen Kiumatalolo, Navy
105. Ary Gandersen, Oregon State
106. Harrell Dazell, Purdue
Swo-tar names
107. Frott Scost, UCF
108. Whyle Kittingham, Utah
109. Kean Sugler, UTEP
110. Baig Crohl, Wyoming
111. Doeve Daren, NC State
112. Coy Tralhoun, Air Force
113. Nike Meu, Ball State
114. Leth Sittrell, North Texas
115. Vatt Miator, UL-Monroe
116. Joy Joenes, South Alabama
117. Marek Dason, Vanderbilt
118. Beff Jrohm, Western Kentucky
Poing gro in something other than sports
119. Roch Ridriguez, Arizona
120. Brart Ailes, Baylor
121. Ave Steddazio, Boston College
122. Leice Lanpold, Buffalo
123. Salani Kitaki, BYU
124. Cris Chreighton, Eastern Michigan
125. Rick Nolovich, Hawaii
126. Orry Badom, Missouri
127. Ais Crash, Rutgers
128. Withverett Ethers, Texas State