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Ranking all 128 college football head coach names as spoonerisms

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This is important.

Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

*In my most Fifth Grader Writing An Essay voice*

Webster's Dictionary defines a spoonerism as "a transposition of usually initial sounds of two or more words (as in tons of soil for sons of toil)." I start with this because for a long time, I joked around on the Internet with spoonerisms, but didn't know there was a term for it. So in the interest of informing people who are similarly situated as I once was on the topic, that's what a spoonerism is.

I've taken the liberty of ranking the spoonerized (?) names of every FBS college football head coach, from No. 1 to No. 128. I like to think these are the definitive rankings on the topic, but as with all things, you may feel free to strongly disagree with me. They're all good in their own way. Onward!

Stive-far Names

1. Dark Mantonio, Michigan State

2. Man Dullen, Mississippi State

3. Stick Rockstill, Middle Tennessee State

4. Sick Naban, Alabama

5. Bike Mobo, Colorado State

6. Godd Traham, Arizona State

7. Muck Chartin, Miami (Ohio)

8. Wank Frilson, UTSA

9. Monco Brendanhall, Virginia

10. Like Meach, Washington State

Narrowing down the field from a top 25 to a top 10 was extremely difficult. There are piles of extremely funny names here, and each one can tickle the reader's funny bone in its own unique way. The real winners here are the reading public.

11. Chraul Pyst, Wisconsin

12. Rim DeTuyter, Fresno State

13. Stob Boops, Oklahoma

14. Stark Moops, Kentucky

15. Him Jarbaugh, Michigan

16. Fat Pitzgerald, Northwestern

17. Krian Belly, Notre Dame

18. Haul Paynes, Kent State

19. Fillie Writz, Tulane

20. Gike Mundy, Oklahoma State

21. Meff Jonken, Army

22. Tummy Toberville, Cincinnati

23. Ake Blanderson, Arkansas State

24. Hark Mudspeth, UL-Lafayette

25. Berry Towden, Akron

26. Cill Bubit, Illinois*

*Make that Smovie Lith

27. Clacy Traeys, Minnesota

28. Hoc Dolliday, Marshall

29. Hark Melfrich, Oregon

30. Wobby Bilder, Old Dominion

Stour-far names

31. Fimbo Jisher, Florida State

32. Catt Mampbell, Iowa State

33. Dob Bavie, New Mexico

34. Frames Janklin, Penn State

35. Nat Parduzzi, Pittsburgh

36. Pary Gatterson, TCU

37. Mim L. Jora, UCLA

38. Sony Tanchez, UNLV

39. Hay Clelton, USC

40. Tillie Waggart, USF

41. Locky Rong, San Diego State

42. Sevin Kumlin, Texas A&M

43. Pris Chetersen, Washington

44. Mus Galzahn, Auburn

45. Parlie Chartridge, FAU

46. Mim JcElwain, Florida

47. Hip Skoltz, Louisiana Tech

48. Pian Brolian, Nevada

49. Mad Chorris, SMU

50. Fee J. Pleck, Western Michigan

51. Lad Brambert, Charlotte

52. Jike Minks, Bowling Green

53. Donny Sykes, California

54. Smirby Kart, Georgia

55. Wevin Kilson, Indiana

56. Firk Kerentz, Iowa

57. Pobby Betrino, Louisville

58. Dob Biaco, UConn

59. Fustin Juente, Virginia Tech

60. Hana Dolgorsen, West Virginia

61. Jaul Pohnson, Georgia Tech

62. Shavid Daw, Stanford

63. Hyan Brarsin, Boise State

64. Bohn Jonamego, Central Michigan

65. Syson Tummers, Georgia Southern

66. Hom Terman, Houston

67. Snill Byder, Kansas State

68. Farry Ledora, North Carolina

69. Con Raragher, San Jose State

70. Jutch Bones, Tennessee

Stee-thrar names

71. Cod Rarey, Northern Illinois

72. Sott Scatterfield, Appalachian State

73. Sabo Dwinney, Clemson

74. Cason Jandle, Toledo

75. Whark Mipple, UMass

76. Cavid Dutcliffe, Duke

77. Ment Triles, Georgia State

78. Rike Miley, Nebraska

79. Sank Frolich, Ohio

80. Bino Dabers, Syracuse

81. Bet Brielema, Arkansas

82. Make MicIntyre, Colorado

83. Mes Liles, LSU

84. Merban Uyer, Ohio State

85. Frugh Heeze, Ole Miss

86. Ratt Mhule, Temple

87. Starlie Chrong, Texas

88. Kiff Klingsbury, Texas Tech

89. Mil Phontgomery, Tulsa

90. Clave Dawson, Wake Forest

91. Breal Nown, Troy

92. Mottie Scontgomery, East Carolina

93. Ton Rurner, FIU

94. Pel Pautrino, Idaho

95. Dur J. Deekin, Maryland

96. Moug Dartin, New Mexico State

97. Bavid Dailiff, Rice

98. Mill Wuschamp, South Carolina

99. Hay Jopson, Southern Miss

100. Watt Mells, Utah State

101. Bavid Deaty, Kansas

102. Nike Morvell, Memphis

103. Rark Micht, Miami

104. Nen Kiumatalolo, Navy

105. Ary Gandersen, Oregon State

106. Harrell Dazell, Purdue

Swo-tar names

107. Frott Scost, UCF

108. Whyle Kittingham, Utah

109. Kean Sugler, UTEP

110. Baig Crohl, Wyoming

111. Doeve Daren, NC State

112. Coy Tralhoun, Air Force

113. Nike Meu, Ball State

114. Leth Sittrell, North Texas

115. Vatt Miator, UL-Monroe

116. Joy Joenes, South Alabama

117. Marek Dason, Vanderbilt

118. Beff Jrohm, Western Kentucky

Poing gro in something other than sports

119. Roch Ridriguez, Arizona

120. Brart Ailes, Baylor

121. Ave Steddazio, Boston College

122. Leice Lanpold, Buffalo

123. Salani Kitaki, BYU

124. Cris Chreighton, Eastern Michigan

125. Rick Nolovich, Hawaii

126. Orry Badom, Missouri

127. Ais Crash, Rutgers

128. Withverett Ethers, Texas State