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Kentucky football player arrested after allegedly stealing a parking meter

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That's one thing a person could steal, yes.

Mark Zerof-USA TODAY Sports

Kentucky Wildcats fullback William Collins was arrested early Friday and now faces several charges, including alcohol intoxication and theft, according to Lexington's WKYT.

Public intoxication isn't exactly a newsworthy alleged offense for a college-aged human, and Collins is 23, so there's no ~scandal~ to be wrought out of him being underage. But what Collins allegedly purloined makes this story ring. Or rattle. Or something.

A police report says an officer saw Collins and another person walking on the sidewalk on East Maxwell Street. The police report says Collins was carrying a parking meter. When they saw the officer, they took off running, according to the report.

"The suspects saw my vehicle and placed the parking meter down," the report says. "I activated my emergency equipment and pulled up beside them."

The officer's report says he yelled for them to stop and get down to the ground. Collins stayed and "admitted to taking the parking meter" because it was on the ground.

The strength required to carry around a parking meter may be matched only by the clarity of mind to not try to run from a cop while carrying it.