17 things that show how freaking long this Big 12 expansion story's been going on

The Big 12's list of member schools is changing. This has more or less been the case since Hot Tub Time Machine was in theaters.

The timeline begins somewhere between late-2009 (when the Big Ten kicked off seven years of mayhem by openly declaring it'd expand soon, then taking Nebraska) and mid-2010, when the Big 12 survived the first Pac-10 raid by only losing Colorado. In 2012, the Big 12 added TCU and West Virginia while losing Missouri and Texas A&M. In mid-2016, the conference has finally decided to get back to a 2010-esque 12 teams (or more).

So let's say a single wave of Big 12 expansion has been sloshing around since 2010.

It's been going on so long, poor SMU has now made three separate advances. Everyone from Notre Dame to Tulane has been considered a candidate. Florida State almost tried to join. Every top candidate has already changed conferences (BYU from the Mountain West to independence, Cincinnati and UConn from the Big East to the post-Big East, Houston and Memphis from Conference USA to the AAC) since it all started.

It's been a ride. Here are some things that are different now.

1. In 2010, Tennessee had just replaced Lane Kiffin with Derek Dooley for reasons that remain unknown.
2. Eminem and Michael Jackson had 2010's top-selling albums. 2010 was a billion years ago.
3. Urban Meyer's Florida had the No. 1 recruiting class, with a championship in his near future.
4. Top-10-grossing movies from 2010 that have since had sequels or spin-offs in theaters: Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -€” Part 1, Shrek Forever After, Twilight: Eclipse (two), Iron Man 2 (five), Despicable Me (two), and How to Train Your Dragon. 2018's Toy Story 4 might be out before the Big 12 is done (no, seriously).
5. The St. Louis Rams existed. They picked Sam Bradford in the first round. He'll be joined in Philadelphia by fellow first-rounder Tim Tebow.
6. The "Shit My Dad Says" Twitter account turned into a 2010 CBS show?
7. Marcus Lattimore was a five-star freshman. He's now a coach.
8. South Sudan was not yet an independent country.
9. Clemson's Deshaun Watson was a high school freshman.
10. LeBron James was about to leave Cleveland, failing to deliver the city a championship ever. (The LeBron-Cavs-Heat story has been remarkably Big 12-y throughout.)
11. Hugh Freeze had just left an NAIA university that no longer exists.
12. The My Little Pony show debuted in 2010. My daughter has been watching it for the entire part of her life she's old enough to remember. My daughter's conscious existence has been spent under a cloud of Big 12 expansion.
13. In 2010, no one really believed a Playoff would ever happen.
14. One era of Big 12 expansion would outlast the entire cycle of Justin Bieber's downfall and resurgence.
15. In 2010, Donald Trump sued Scotland over unattractive wind farms and closed his pretend school. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was actually popular, if you can believe that.
16. In mid-2010, Nick Saban's Alabama was the reigning national champion after beating an injured, orange team. Imagine such a thing!
17. The world's only stories to actually outlast this Big 12 thing: Kanye-Taylor Swift drama and probably something in Russia or wherever.

Elsewhere!

The Big 12 deadline: sooner than you think, maybe? Steven Godfrey reports from Houston.

If the conference were to add the four big current names (and somehow forget about Iowa State, which happens) the resulting map would ... my heavens ...

Will BYU's no-games-on-Sunday rule hurt its Big 12 chances? It sure shouldn't, based on how the Cougars handle their current schedules.

ECU's Twitter account, which was only five months old when this Big 12 mess all started, is now tweeting please-add-us maps directly @ conference members.

Bill C team of the day: Michigan State, which is hovering right at its optimum levels of disrespect after being picked third in its division.

OH HEY, USC's gonna play Alabama really soon. In a football game on the field. The trenches will tell the tale.

So ... don't jinx it, but ... Ohio State has a real chance to end Bama's streak of No. 1 recruiting classes.

Adding four-star commits Monday were Oklahoma (which has a very good shot at a top-five class) and Auburn (which might land in the top 10).

ACC media picked Clemson over Florida State. That's totally reasonable. The Tigers nearly won a title and return the likely No. 1 pick at QB. Still think this is the year we learn how the Playoff committee handles teams that didn't even win their divisions, whether it's the ACC Atlantic or SEC West.

Oh, Big Ten Media Days is going on. To my knowledge, the only thing to happen is this GIF:

Jim Harbaugh on appearing in a rap video this summer: "I think the cool people liked it."https://t.co/VtaiyxP1Qo pic.twitter.com/1tvAfN14EP

— SB✯Nation CFB (@SBNationCFB) July 26, 2016

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