Rutgers and Maryland are reportedly in discussions about creating a rivalry trophy for their annual game, according to NJ.com's Ryan Dunleavy. College football is a sport renowned for embracing its ridiculousness, but this might be a step beyond the sport's normal levels of bizarreness.
Of course, the Big Ten is up to its elbows in rivalry trophies, so any hardware to be contested between Rutgers and Maryland would fit in well with the rest of the conference's display case of dusty curiosities such as the Illibuck, the Old Brass Spittoon, and of course, the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy.
There's a lot of history to live up to here, so these schools need to think long and hard before they settle on a name for this new trophy. Here are a few helpful suggestions, which they can feel free to use at their leisure.
The Green Knight Memorial, so long as they can secure permission from the owners of the Franklin the Turtle series.
The Market Capturer Cup, in honor of the schools' ironclad hold on the hearts and minds of the New York and Washington, D.C. media markets.
The Old Oaken Metro Area, seeing how neither of these schools are actually located in the city which they deliver to the Big Ten's ravenous TV network.
The Ole Brass Shake Shack Coupon that Expired Two Months Ago. You had been meaning to go for a while now and just forgot.
Tony Soprano eating like, a huge plate of crab legs while wearing a hilariously small bib. No further description required.
The Iron Traincar Full of Bros Arguing About Moe's and Chipotle. "But Chipotle doesn't have queso!"
Our Maryland site solicited their Twitter followers for ideas, and they were roughly what you'd expect off the top of your head.
@testudotimes The Slab of I-95 Cup— Justin Hudson (@Calowl) July 26, 2016
@testudotimes The Bowl Eligible Cup— Trey Crump (@RogCrump) July 26, 2016
@testudotimes The EZ Pass Bowl— Krall (@Kralldady) July 26, 2016
One Twitter user brought up Ralph Friedgen, who coached Maryland from 2001 to 2010, and then later served as an assistant at Rutgers for a couple years in 2014-2015, so perhaps we need a life-sized bronze of Friedgen standing there with his arms crossed, looking extremely non-plussed about what's transpiring in front of him.
Leave your best ideas in the comments below!