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How the world changed in the 34 days between Tennessee Volunteers offensive touchdowns

Or, How to Talk to Your Kids About a Tennessee Offensive Touchdown.

By Alex Kirshner
NCAA Football: Tennessee at Kentucky Mark Zerof-USA TODAY Sports

Amazing happened on Saturday night.

The Tennessee Volunteers scored an offensive touchdown for the first time since Sept. 23, when they edged then-winless UMass by four points in Knoxville. A span of 34 full days elapsed between that day and Saturday, when running back Ty Chandler took the ball and gallantly plunged into Kentucky’s end zone from one yard out. There were five minutes 58 seconds left in the first half, and nothing was the same again.

The Mona Lisa of short-yardage running, they’ll call it.

I realize that it might be challenging for some parents to have a discussion with their children about what it looks like when Butch Jones’ offense puts the football into the opposition’s end zone on something other than a punt, kickoff, or fumble.

With the goal of making it easier for you to talk to your kids about a Tennessee offensive touchdown, I’ve compiled a list of things that were going on in the world on Sept. 23, the date of the previous Tennessee offensive touchdown.

The last time Tennessee’s offense scored a TD ....

  • Louisville head basketball coach Rick Pitino was looking forward to his 16th season running the Cardinals, hoping to build on a 770-221 career record.
  • Tennessee’s quarterback was not Jarrett Guarantano, the current QB.
  • American Dream by LCD Soundsystem was No. 1 on the Billboard 200.
  • The highest-grossing American film that weekend was something called Kingsman: The Golden Circle, which I’m not convinced is a real movie.
  • Hugh Hefner and Tom Petty were alive.
  • Gary Andersen was the head football coach at Oregon State.
  • Florida was not 3-4, and the Gators were not considering firing their head coach after he made dubious implications that he and his family had faced death threats.
  • The United States was still a member of UNESCO, the United Nations’ cultural organization.
  • Florida State was ranked No. 11 in the AP Top 25.

It’s been a long journey. Cheers to the Vols on breaking through this invisible wall.

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