Before the 2016 season, the NCAA decreed that any football coach who receives two unsportsmanlike conduct fouls in a single game will be ejected, bringing football more in line with other collegiate sports.
Though some coaches got rang up in 2016, nobody doubled down and landed the proverbial red card. But it’s gonna happen at some point. And it might be the sport’s first major-level coach ejection, other than the 1970s rampages by Ohio State’s Woody Hayes, who often drove officials to drastic measures.
So! A few of us decided to make a game of it. We had a two-round fantasy draft, with a randomized order and snake format. If you want to back a pick or add a name, throw it in the comments and receive glory once it happens.
Who’ll be the first college football coach to get ejected under this rule?
|1||Morgan Moriarty||Brian Kelly, Notre Dame|
|2||Bill Connelly||Butch Jones, Tennessee|
|3||Richard Johnson||Will Muschamp, South Carolina|
|4||Jason Kirk||Jim Mora, UCLA|
|5||Spencer Hall||Jim Harbaugh, Michigan|
|6||Alex Kirshner||Larry Fedora, North Carolina|
|7||Ryan Nanni||Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia|
|8||Brian Floyd||Lane Kiffin, FAU|
|9||Bud Elliott||Bret Bielema, Arkansas|
|10||Dan Rubenstein||Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State|
|11||Steven Godfrey||Rich Rodriguez, Arizona|
|12||Steven Godfrey||Bobby Petrino, Louisville|
|13||Dan Rubenstein||Jimbo Fisher, Florida State|
|14||Bud Elliott||Dave Doeren, NC State|
|15||Brian Floyd||Bo Pelini, Youngstown State|
|16||Ryan Nanni||Paul Petrino, Idaho|
|17||Alex Kirshner||Todd Graham, Arizona State|
|18||Spencer Hall||Mark Dantonio, Michigan State|
|19||Jason Kirk||Jim McElwain, Florida|
|20||Richard Johnson||Kirby Smart, Georgia|
|21||Bill Connelly||Mark Stoops, Kentucky|
|22||Morgan Moriarty||Pat Narduzzi, Pitt|
- Entire coaching staffs count, but not analysts or strength coaches or members of Bama’s secondary, tertiary, or alternate-dimensional coaching staffs, for example. So if a defensive line coach somehow pulls off an ejection, that counts for his head coach. If an emergency judgment call needs to be made as to whether a coach counts or not, we will convene an independent council and invite public comment.
- If 2017 blesses us with the first-ever coach ejection and that coach happens to be on this list, whoever picked that coach wins. This includes comments.
- The prize: self-esteem.
- If we already have a first-place finisher, but — by some miracle — another coach manages to get ejected twice, we will create an Anger Hall of Fame and enshrine both.
- All other rules will be made up as needed.
Also, a few observations on our selections:
- These are all pretty good picks. Lots of previous unsportsmanlike penalties, several hot seats, and plenty of high-stakes opportunities.
- Almost the entire SEC East is represented, save Vanderbilt’s Derek Mason and Missouri’s Barry Odom.
- With Muschamp, Kiffin, Fisher, Dantonio, McElwain, and Smart, almost all of Nick Saban’s adult sons are here, but not Saban himself. Many of us reasoned that no official would actually have the willpower to eject this generation’s greatest coach, no matter how volatile the sidelines get.
- Incredible value pick: Pelini at 15. If this rule had been in place in 2015, he would’ve been ejected against North Dakota State. So yes, he’s still got it, despite moving down to FCS.
- Two Petrinos!
- Selectors whose entire rosters will meet this year: Bill (Tennessee-Kentucky), Richard (South Carolina-Georgia), and Spencer (Michigan State-Michigan).
We didn’t pick many non-FBS coaches. Surely we’ve overlooked some stupendously mad coach in Conference USA or the SoCon or what have you. Please add candidates in the comments.