clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

College football teams keep comparing themselves to Star Wars loser bad guys

Why would you want to associate yourself with the evil side that didn’t even win the war?

College football teams like to get the attention of young people by comparing themselves to things young people are into. Star Wars is evidently still popular.

Here’s a thing Oregon made, portraying the Ducks as a major power that showed up out of nowhere (in, like, 1994), got blown up on the biggest stage via dubious circumstances (2010, due to Michael Dyer being ruled not down/some farm kid making an impossible shot), got blown up fair and square with the whole galaxy again watching (2014), and saw its poorly conceived predecessor destroyed even more spectacularly in what didn’t even feel like a major or secondary plot line (2016), mostly due to minor design flaws (someone besides Nick Aliotti running the defense) and despite a hilarious facilities advantage (the architect even called it “Darth Vaderish Death Star”).

Lots of teams do that kind of thing. The Death Star is cool — maybe the coolest thing to ever go 1-2.

Lots of teams also call their all-white uniforms their Stormtrooper gear, ignoring that the Stormtroopers in the movies might be the worst military of all time and don’t even look that cool. Texas even does it on Star Wars Day.

Then again, not even Stormtroopers want to be associated with Illinois football.

For some reason, the official College Football Playoff store has had a Star Wars-themed section for years. It used to be way weirder, but it still has stuff like this:

No, I’m pretty sure I don’t.

Darth Vader being Jim Harbaugh’s favorite is fine if you think about it, because Darth Vader never ranked any better than second either.

Overall, we see many teams comparing themselves to the Sith, the Empire, or the First Order, all of whom lose because they’re evil. (Actually, I guess the First Order wins Force Awakens five planets to one, but this group blows early leads like it’s Texas A&M, folks. Folks!)

It’s fun to think of yourself as the bad guy, but a little narrative awareness would go a long way.

It’s not like it’s hard to make good Star Wars/college football comparisons.

Former UGA WR Chris Conley made a 26-minute Star Wars fan film on campus that featured Mark Richt solemnly studying during a blaster battle (just like Chirrut Îmwe) and Todd Gurley showing up as Superman. (Whatever. He’s an alien).

Our Every Day Should Be Saturday improved on the Playoff’s Star Wars merch with some more fully thought-out gear.

Good Bull Hunting made Force Awakens uniforms for the first Playoff, and what really sells Clemson as the rebel hero ...

... is seeing Alabama as the bad guy who’s forever furious at himself for briefly thinking about things besides misery.

Along the same lines:

Clemson Football just blew up the Death Star to win the national championship!

Опубліковано Sporting News 9 січня 2017 р.

Or when Lane Kiffin gets to run up the score on his former team:


FIVE-STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE KIFF (Lane Kiffin's new team 52, Lane Kiffin's former team 6)

Posted by SB Nation College Football on Saturday, September 3, 2016

Soooooooo many fans and some teams made Force Awakens trailer-themed hype videos (Arizona’s is pretty good), but the best was this one on the BYU-Utah Las Vegas Holy War. It’s funny, everything lines up, and I’m pretty sure Utes fans didn’t mind being portrayed as the side with the superior recruiting.

And though the Playoff’s Star Wars merch section is currently down to just bland Vader and Yoda stuff (Yoda is so overrated, he might as well be 2012 USC, btw), this was the most perfect Georgia football item anyone has ever created:

C-3PO is part of the main story every time despite having few noteworthy powers, being able to speak in bizarre languages, arguably having fewer all-time accomplishments than his nerdy-little-brother character, at least beating that brother in their internal squabbles that rarely resonate outside their own vicinity, constantly falling apart, and just being here to make you think about the early 1980s.