College football is a borderline anarchy. While the sport’s decades of disorder have produced plenty of what we love about it, it’s still a lumbering beast that’s hard to redirect when necessary.
Bill Connelly — my colleague who annually writes in great detail about every FBS team, among other things — is running for the title of college football commissioner, a job that’s never existed. He has a nine-point plan, ranging from better student-athlete representation to hacking conference schedules, to expanding the Playoff responsibly.
We’d like to hear from you on all this as well. When Shutdown Fullcast, the bizarre college football podcast I co-host with Spencer Hall and Ryan Nanni, posed the following to our listeners, we got a lot to discuss.
YOUR TAKES, PLEASE
— Shutdown Fullcast (@ShutdownFullcas) May 23, 2017
Tell us the first thing you'd do after being named college football commissioner@edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN
Let’s go through a few categories of response, based on how urgent our listeners as a group seemed to deem them.
1. The first chronological reply to that tweet, with others agreeing: Let the players make money somehow.
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN PAY THEM KIDS THEIR MONEY
— Lazarus Jackson (@lazchance) May 23, 2017
The issue of how to compensate players in a modern amateur sport isn’t simple. Bill’s proposal calls for an updated definition of amateurism that includes a universal athlete Bill of Rights and allows players to make money in the free market but doesn’t require schools to pay salaries. I’m not smart enough to know the perfect way to make sure the millions of dollars that flow through this sport also flow proportionately to the athletes, so that’s as good of a general idea as I know of.
Poll
How should college football players be compensated?
This poll is closed
-
19%
Via pure capitalism
(141 votes) -
25%
Schools should pay them money
(190 votes) -
30%
Things besides schools should pay them money
(226 votes) -
10%
More non-financial benefits
(75 votes) -
8%
Exactly as they are now
(60 votes) -
6%
TAKE THEIR SCHOLARSHIPS
(48 votes)
2. Bring back the damn video game.
Lots of comments like these:
@ShutdownFullcas @celebrityhottub @edsbs @JasonKirkSBN Too easy--3 prong attack. Bring back EA NCAA Football game. Then I make trades happen between schools. Then I name Lane Kiffin the Auburn HC
— Brian Beebe (@bbeebe) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @JasonKirkSBN @edsbs @celebrityhottub immediately appoint @SBN_BillC as my replacement, resign, and buy the new ncaa football for xbox.
— Dan LaCouture (@danloc04) May 23, 2017
This goes hand-in-hand with No. 1. EA Sports has said it wanted to pay players for their appearances in NCAA Football, which could’ve headed off the legal battles that killed the game series. If we find a way for players to make money from third parties, the game can return.
Poll
Should the NCAA allow players to make money off their likenesses?
3. Make Power 5 status something teams have to earn and defend on the field.
We’ve been having fun for years with the idea of soccer-style promotion and relegation in college football. Bill sums up the argument here. This might’ve been the most popular suggestion, actually.
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Immediately introduce Promotion/Relegation. All conferences are scrapped, we're going for a straight League format. I have now perfected CFB
— Alex Johnson (@AlexndrJohnson) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @JasonKirkSBN @edsbs @celebrityhottub Pro/Rel BABYYYYYYYYYYY ALL THE CHAOS. ALL THE GAMBLING.
— It's a work, mark. (@BurritoBrosShit) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Promotion / relegation. Make Purdue and Rutgers fans sweat their losses.
— Gregory Macfarlane (@greg_macfarlane) May 24, 2017
Poll
Ignoring the fact that it’d never happen, would you like it if lower-conference champs got to move up and last-place teams had to move down?
This poll is closed
-
21%
Yeah, but I’d have to design it
(163 votes) -
59%
Yeah, but someone smarter than me would have to design it
(442 votes) -
18%
No
(140 votes)
4. BRING BACK OLD STUFF
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Un re-align the conferences. PAC and big 10 go back to 10. Bring back the SWC.
— The Real Brad (@FunkyBoss42) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Revert all rules back to the ones Teddy Roosevelt made, AS THE FOUNDING FATHERS ALWAYS INTENDED
— Xander Judge (@blurgghhh) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN BACARDI
— Matt Brown (@MattSBN) May 24, 2017
BOWL
BACK
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Eliminate Auburn from playing football again. Actually would be to make Texas and A&M play each other again
— Bradley Paterik (@bradhawkdown) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Revert all conferences and bowl tie-ins to 1990 configuration; route all CFP money into cloning Keith Jackson
— #FearTheV (@VandyImport) May 24, 2017
Poll
Should things go back to how they were whenever you liked them most?
5. Hack something.
Tons of loosie ideas, including:
@ShutdownFullcas @JasonKirkSBN @edsbs @celebrityhottub Games will be done in 3 hours no matter what; team leading at the end wins
— Pete Rossman (@PeteAtFAS) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @celebrityhottub @edsbs @JasonKirkSBN have punts count as -1 point
— tom collins (@ronensign) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN 16 team playoff, auto bids for all conference champs and 6 at large births. First rounds played at campus sites.
— Jeff Johnson (@BigJohnson177) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN BAN NOON KICKOFFS
— Michael Fullan (@mrfullan) May 24, 2017
6. Be sure the new commissioner makes a lot of money.
Some of the most honest tweets:
@celebrityhottub @ShutdownFullcas @edsbs move to a bigger house b/c I assume this would just be a massive cash grab like the rest of CFB.
— Michael Felder (@InTheBleachers) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN 1. Demand delivery of all the Diet Dr. Pepper our rights deals would allow to an address of my choosing.
— Dan Devine (@YourManDevine) May 23, 2017
2. RESIGN IN DISGRACE
@ShutdownFullcas @celebrityhottub @edsbs @JasonKirkSBN Get fired and have my contract bought out so I can accomplish my real life goal of getting paid millions to do nothing all day.
— Gee Buttersnaps (@JonLawson32) May 23, 2017
Poll
Would you like to be rich?
7. Knock Nick Saban down a peg.
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Resign after naming Nick Saban my successor so maybe he'll leave Tuscaloosa
— Josh Black (@JoshuaBBlack) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Stick Nick Saban at Iowa State, just to see what happens.
— (((Lichtenstein))) (@ABLichtenstein) May 23, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN vacate every game Saban has ever played, sets his record back 0-0 like he never even existed
— finn cooley (@finncooley16) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Appoint a special counsel to investigate nick saban's car dealerships
— wade (@whscof) May 24, 2017
@MV_41 @ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN Mandatory minimum height requirement for head coaches (5'7") pic.twitter.com/3Rsrxzu6xN
— Wilson (@wwlyle) May 24, 2017
@ShutdownFullcas @edsbs @celebrityhottub @JasonKirkSBN SEC media day is replaced by a king of the ring style tournament in which saban fights the southern media elite
— Xxxtennessee titans (@wincemcmahon) May 24, 2017
Many of you seem to have had enough of Alabama winning all the time. Other entities The People really want to see punished include Larry Culpepper, the SEC, Notre Dame, Florida’s road schedule, Lane Kiffin, neutral-site games, FBS vs. FCS games, and Jim Delany.