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College football returned with exactly the big, dumb, beautiful, record-setting weekend we needed

Welcome back to America’s strangest and most exhausting sport.

Georgia Tech v Tennessee Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

College football's opening weekend was scheduled to last five days. It almost lasted slightly longer than that.

Every weekend of America's dumbest and oldest major sport is a special weekend, but this one was especially historic, bizarre, and inspiring. A few things that no other weekend can claim:

Welcome back, college football. Week 2 is huge and starts in about 60 hours.