College football's opening weekend was scheduled to last five days. It almost lasted slightly longer than that.
Every weekend of America's dumbest and oldest major sport is a special weekend, but this one was especially historic, bizarre, and inspiring. A few things that no other weekend can claim:
- The largest point-spread upset in college football history
- The other most surprising upset since THE YEAR OF THE UPSET itself, per ESPN
Howard had a 1.2% chance to beat UNLV, that's now the biggest FPI upset in the last 10 years pic.twitter.com/rqQwcqGlQR— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 3, 2017
- The second biggest comeback in the recorded history of the sport (and here's how it happened)
- That comeback turning our Texas A&M blog into Maximum Good Bull Hunting
- Rarely seen levels of instant, raging Facebook hot-seat drama at the above university, not that we as fans root for people to be fired; just for the drama part
- A game won on an especially ruthless fake spike (still the same game)
UCLA FAKE SPIKE FOR THE LEAD pic.twitter.com/GHUOB2Olsf— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) September 4, 2017
- Another Sunday night game, totally overshadowed by the above game, that was so good, it managed to make the despicable FedEx Field bearable
- Maryland beating Texas, the comedy event of the summer
- A Labor Day barnburner to close out the whole thing in overtime and nearly stretch the weekend into SIX days of football
- The story of that Labor Day barnburner being tellable just by sorting through four hours' worth of FIRE BUTCH JONES tweets
- THREE silly entries in the odd sideline gear category: Miami's gold chain, A&M's pimp cane/drum major baton, and Tennessee's legendary trash can, the last one ranking as the season's best meme so far
- Les Miles making his television debut by wandering with a hot mic in search of a bathroom
- The return of UAB and a successful FBS debut by Coastal Carolina
- A damn 98-0 game (there have been 100-pointers, but the last game I can find with that exact score: 1953 Bethune-Cookman's W vs. Savannah State)
- And one of the most heartwarming, encouraging sports things you'll ever witness, at WMU-USC
- Plus all sorts of the other usual college football-y stuff, such as Rutgers briefly beating the reigning Pac-12 champion while New Jerseyans howled in a student section hot tub.
Welcome back, college football. Week 2 is huge and starts in about 60 hours.