Ones you might actually hear on a football broadcast

Announcers looking to liven things up dip into the lexicon in many different ways.

1. Toss the rock
2. Arm punt
3. Air it out
4. Take a shot
5. Playing pitch and catch
6. Let that baby fly
7. Spin the magic bean [watch SportsCenter, we swear]
8. Wing/bomb/chuck/rifle/rocket/zip/laser/etc. it
9. Chuck it around
10. Let it rip
11. Fit it in there

Ones your dad might use when watching the ballgame on the recliner

Some are punny. Some are unhappy! Some are weirdly sexual. All are corny, and you wish he’d just call a spade a spade.

1. JUST THROW. THE DAMN. BALL.
2. Toss the ol’ pigskin around
3. Chuck the duck
4. Fling the pill
5. The ol’ long-distance handoff
6. Sling the rock
7. Wing the pig
8. GET RID OF IT! GET RID OF IIIIIIIIT!
9. Whistle the missile
10. Make that kitty purr
11. Grip it and rip it
12. Shoot the moon
13. Pray it away
14. Burn the rubber
15. The Great Deflation (your dad hasn’t forgotten about Tom Brady’s suspension)
16. JUST RUN. THE DAMN. BALL.

Ways to describe the ball as a swine byproduct and/or food

Pigskin is a euphemism for the type of leather. The funny thing? Footballs are more commonly made of cow leather.

1. Release the cracklins
2. Propel the pork
3. Spin the spud
4. Bomb the bean
5. Pitch the peanut
6. Sling the ‘skin
7. Whip the biscuit
8. Fire the porker
9. Spin the ‘skin
10. Flick the pickle
11. Pitch the pig
12. Pitch the Skittle
13. Let the pig fly
14. Toss the turkey
15. Toss the hog
16. Toss the squash
17. Chuck the ham
18. Lob the hog
19. Zip the turnip
20. Blast the cashew
21. Pop the pepper
22. Zap the ham
23. Beam the bean
24. Mail the melon
25. Deliver the liver
26. Chuck the ham
27. Blast the burrito
28. Launch the avocado
29. Bloom the onion
30. Fire the swine
31. Feather the leather
32. Roast the beef
33. Catapult the chicharrón
34. Laser the tater
35. Huck the hoagie
36. Hurl the hog
37. Spiralize the ham
38. Float the tater
39. Slide the hide
40. Spin the lemon
41. Torpedo the burrito
42. Slow-cook your own shoulder
43. Heave the engorged pig bladder
44. Make great-aunt Eileen's pie
45. Send Captain Porker to Flavortown

Ones you’d shout while playing 500

1. 500!

This got out of hand

1. Kobe!
2. Bortles!
3. Athlete!
4. Get the bag, flip it, and tumble it
5. Vomit the comet
6. Arm barfing
7. Throwing Private Ryan
8. Launch the escape pod
9. Deploy the blue shell
10. Force-project the ball across the galaxy
11. Toss away the Coldplay album
12. Upload directly to YouTube
13. Send the frisbee back into old Mr. Weatherbee’s yard
14. Flip Stitchface straight to Hell

A few of the many y’all sent us

Thank you for your service to journalism.

More? What else you got?