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108 silly ways to say ‘throw a football’

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NFL: AFC Divisional Playoff-Jacksonville at Pittsburgh Steelers Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Ones you might actually hear on a football broadcast

Announcers looking to liven things up dip into the lexicon in many different ways.

  1. Toss the rock
  2. Arm punt
  3. Air it out
  4. Take a shot
  5. Playing pitch and catch
  6. Let that baby fly
  7. Spin the magic bean [watch SportsCenter, we swear]
  8. Wing/bomb/chuck/rifle/rocket/zip/laser/etc. it
  9. Chuck it around
  10. Let it rip
  11. Fit it in there

Ones your dad might use when watching the ballgame on the recliner

Some are punny. Some are unhappy! Some are weirdly sexual. All are corny, and you wish he’d just call a spade a spade.

  2. Toss the ol’ pigskin around
  3. Chuck the duck
  4. Fling the pill
  5. The ol’ long-distance handoff
  6. Sling the rock
  7. Wing the pig
  9. Whistle the missile
  10. Make that kitty purr
  11. Grip it and rip it
  12. Shoot the moon
  13. Pray it away
  14. Burn the rubber
  15. The Great Deflation (your dad hasn’t forgotten about Tom Brady’s suspension)

Ways to describe the ball as a swine byproduct and/or food

Pigskin is a euphemism for the type of leather. The funny thing? Footballs are more commonly made of cow leather.

  1. Release the cracklins
  2. Propel the pork
  3. Spin the spud
  4. Bomb the bean
  5. Pitch the peanut
  6. Sling the ‘skin
  7. Whip the biscuit
  8. Fire the porker
  9. Spin the ‘skin
  10. Flick the pickle
  11. Pitch the pig
  12. Pitch the Skittle
  13. Let the pig fly
  14. Toss the turkey
  15. Toss the hog
  16. Toss the squash
  17. Chuck the ham
  18. Lob the hog
  19. Zip the turnip
  20. Blast the cashew
  21. Pop the pepper
  22. Zap the ham
  23. Beam the bean
  24. Mail the melon
  25. Deliver the liver
  26. Chuck the ham
  27. Blast the burrito
  28. Launch the avocado
  29. Bloom the onion
  30. Fire the swine
  31. Feather the leather
  32. Roast the beef
  33. Catapult the chicharrón
  34. Laser the tater
  35. Huck the hoagie
  36. Hurl the hog
  37. Spiralize the ham
  38. Float the tater
  39. Slide the hide
  40. Spin the lemon
  41. Torpedo the burrito
  42. Slow-cook your own shoulder
  43. Heave the engorged pig bladder
  44. Make great-aunt Eileen's pie
  45. Send Captain Porker to Flavortown

Ones you’d shout while playing 500

  1. 500!

This got out of hand

  1. Kobe!
  2. Bortles!
  3. Athlete!
  4. Get the bag, flip it, and tumble it
  5. Vomit the comet
  6. Arm barfing
  7. Throwing Private Ryan
  8. Launch the escape pod
  9. Deploy the blue shell
  10. Force-project the ball across the galaxy
  11. Toss away the Coldplay album
  12. Upload directly to YouTube
  13. Send the frisbee back into old Mr. Weatherbee’s yard
  14. Flip Stitchface straight to Hell

A few of the many y’all sent us

Thank you for your service to journalism.

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