Welcome back to THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, your weekly hike through the most bitter forests of the college football internet.
Often, this feature visits several different fanbases in a given week. But after Week 8, there’s only one place it cares to spend time: Columbus, Ohio (and associated message boards).
Ohio State lost to Purdue, 49-20, continuing its annual tradition of taking one embarrassing blowout.
This makes three years in a row that Urban Meyer’s had one of the worst losses of his entire coaching career, but I’m sure the coach’s best days are still to come.
Buckeye fan feelings ran the whole emotional spectrum. But nothing captures the general sentiment better than this piece of sad/mad poetry.
From a poster at Eleven Warriors:
After My Sports Team Loses the Sports Game, I Walk in Starlight
“the glaring shortcomings we have were exposed,”
-Ohio State Head Coach Urban Meyer
“I am completely at peace
there are worlds
beyond this one”
I know now
what those fans of the other team have felt
all the times I have been happy.
I go out for a walk
around the apartment block.
Even the stars
seem to be laughing at me, at my fandom,
unaware that they too are drifting
in someone else’s orbit,
that they too will run out of fuel,
that one day entropy
will do something
about their everything,
their superficial forever.
I tell them so.
What am I doing
with my life,
starting a fight with the sky?
Man, fuck Purdue.
In response, another fan wrote a haiku:
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck Purdue fire everyone
Fuck Michigan most
If your eyes aren’t welling up with tears after that, are you even a person?
College football is a hell of a drug in general. Ohio State football is, like, the potent old quaaludes Leonardo DiCaprio takes in Wolf of Wall Street.
Ohio State fans found so many things to be mad about.
A common refrain is that it’s departing defensive end Nick Bosa’s fault, even though Bosa reportedly wouldn’t have been healthy enough to play until December and the defense has been really bad both with and without him.
Did Bosa’s departure ruin Ohio State’s culture and prevent the Buckeyes from bearing down on the task at hand? I’ve added some paragraph breaks:
I’m going to call a spade a spade...
Bosa has clearly been talking to guys ahead of time about his decision. No way this was decided in a couple of hours. Between he and Ward last year, I seriously believe there are fractures in the locker room. Again, I understand the getting back to full health, but I will never agree with him leaving altogether. This is a culture program that is affecting us first and will only get worse, ruining the college game.
Of course, well have the fools on here talking about how they should protect their future. I don’t buy that shit. 83 percent of ex NFL players end up bankrupt because they buy stupid shit like 500,000 dollar diamond earrings, ten cars, 2 houses that really only billionaires can afford, and then many blow money on cling on boys who do nothing but suck these guys dry. So, to sum this rant up, I think some of these guys are in love with their potential draft stays and should forget about it.
This next thing’s actually from before the game, but I’m putting it here anyway:
Are fb players need to play in bowl games before heading to the pros? Of course not. Neither is the alumni required to support OSU with any monetary donations. Fans can stop buying any merchandise and tickets.
Folks may wise up and realize that 4 years at OSU costing over $100,000 is very expensive and you can get a quality education somewhere else for a fraction of that cost.
Most businesses in the U.S. could care less what state University you attended. It is about your work experience that matters.
That is how capitalism works. If you are selling a product like college football, don’t piss off and alienate your customer base.
“That is how capitalism works” is the greatest start to a sentence about college football that anyone has ever written. I am clapping like a seal.
Back to the present. What if the reason Ohio State lost is that Meyer had to serve a preseason and three-game suspension, which ended more than a month before this game?
OUR HC MISSED ALL OF FALL CAMP
...had his character assassinated daily for a month, returns with a forced apology by our idiot university president, and some of our fans think Meyer is to blame for this season?
Try preparing a team under those circumstances and see how you do.
Meyer hasn’t been the same, but I don’t blame him. The root of the problem is there are people who set him up to fail; and they would do the same to the next coach.
That’s right: the Deep (Ohio) State was out to undermine him.
Ohio State fans were so aggrieved that even my colleague Matt Brown, probably the least mad person I know, was mad.
He didn’t want to admit it at first ...
folks, I'm not mad online. I'm too tired to be mad online.— Matt BOO-rown (@MattSBN) October 21, 2018
I'm just disappointed online.
... but he was, indeed, mad:
okay I lied maybe I'm actually a teensy bit mad online— Matt BOO-rown (@MattSBN) October 21, 2018
Ohio State fans were furious with ESPN, the network that last year conspired* to keep the Buckeyes out of the Playoff while putting in two SEC teams.
*That’s how a bunch of Ohio State fans felt last December. In this view, the TV channel just doesn’t like money and thus doesn’t want to show one of the sport’s biggest eyeball magnet teams, Ohio State, which drives interest unlike pretty much anyone else.
Multiple Ohio State fans in different places felt victimized by ESPN’s decision to showcase the story of Tyler Trent, a Purdue fan and terminal cancer patient who’s formed a close bond with the Boilermakers and said it was his wish to attend this game and watch Purdue win:
I’m not heartless, and I’m glad he got his moment. But, ABC and Tom Rinaldi interrupted the live-action twice for extended periods of time. It’s almost like ABC was going to force this tear-jerking story down our throats. We all have tragic stories and sorrow in our lives; we don’t what more during our escape into a football game.
That’s not the only Buckeye to apparently be seriously bugged about this:
This game had shades of Iowa all over it. All the way down to the sick kids...
away game, black and gold colors, pathetic defense, anemic offense, and emotional element of the ailing kid/s close to the program.
Another poster wrote:
I had to check my channel guide to make sure my TV hadn’t switched to the Oprah Channel.
A few others found the story irrelevant, because football doesn’t improve medical outcomes. It’s good to see that everyone kept things in perspective.
So, so many Ohio State fans thought play-by-play man Chris Fowler was out to get their team.
All from this big page, here are various Fowler complaints:
- “Turning the sound off for the entire 2nd half helped ease the pain of hearing Fowler’s Boilergasms.”
- “Eff Fowler”
- “Fowler so happy and with the O face”
- “Fowler LOL man he hates OSU”
- “Go suck one Fowler”
- “F... Fowler”
- “No more games with Fowler please”
- “I haven’t heard Fowler this giddy since.......” (it’s never cleared up)
- “I want neutral announcers, not one that jizzes his pants on every good play from the other team”
- “It’s funny listening to Fowler when out of the room. The glee is palpable.”
This is a somewhat recurring thing and not merely confined to message boards:
Chris Fowler obviously hates Ohio State. He'll deny and claim impartiality but the glee at any Buckeye struggle is obvious.— Buckeye Nation Ambassador (@216minor) October 21, 2018
Could Chris Fowler be anymore anti-Ohio State?— Coach Bosch (@HunterBosch) October 21, 2018
Another thought, Chris Fowler coukd never call a Buckeye game ever again and I would be happy. It’s clear he is anti-Ohio State.— Nate Hines (@OhioStateNate) October 21, 2018
I’m ok with the loss as long as Chris Fowler never calls a Buckeyes game again.— fast and furious: Tokyo Crisp (@TheCrisp21) October 21, 2018
Fowler’s booth partner is a former Ohio State quarterback.
But there’s always reason to be optimistic, even when your team’s just given up four touchdowns of 40-plus yards in one quarter to Purdue.
... jobs 1 & 2 are obviously for us to get our sh*t together and win out, but for those of us looking for optimism: if Purdue wins out, we’d likely face them in the B1G CG, where a victory would perhaps return credibility & put us back in the NC conversation.
Here’s some wishful thinking:
Ohio State is the new “Clemsoning”
2016 season: 31-0 loss to Clemson
2017 season: 55-24 to Iowa
2018 season: 49-20 loss to Purdue
Only unlike Clemson where they blew leads, we are good for one ass kicking a year.
Ohio State needs to score a point in the Playoff before it can truly become Clemson.
Another positive? Pure intrigue. The Buckeyes are really gonna take it to 1-6 Nebraska now. The Huskers will never see it coming.
THE SEASON JUST GOT EXCITING AGAIN
That was a rough game to watch. There was a loss lingering, but that was reality check for the team. They’ll stew on that for two weeks. It makes things interesting.
I love Ohio state after a loss. At #2, they played with a lot to lose. Weren’t loose. All the pressure was on them.
I think they might be underdogs again if Michigan continues to win. Would rather they get a reality check now, and not the end of November.
Side note: the polls will be interesting for the first time this season
I wouldn’t bet on Nebraska. Go Bucks
And now, Ohio State gets to play the role Ohio State’s always wanted:
LAST NIGHT’S TRUE WINNER? CHAOS.
scUM leads the B1G East, heading into November. The pressure is yours, scUM!
Meyer’s program for winning championships has included making defeat the juice that fuels the angriest college football team in America.
Honestly, the Buckeyes might have been Week 8’s biggest winners.
Regardless, the loss ruined Buckeyes’ fans faith in their program.
Things are so bad that this O-Zone poster thinks Ohio State’s going to lose to Indiana, which is biologically incapable of beating ranked Big Ten teams
The 2019 annual ass whipping will be early - 9/14 at Indiana.
This guy’s just not going to watch until after Thanksgiving:
I need a break from this noncents. Gonna hang with my 2 boys or take the broad out for mini golf. I need to repriotoeoeize my life.
This loss also provided the most important thing a big upset can provide: message board posters making fun of each other for being overconfident.
My favorite of the genre this week comes via OSU’s 247Sports board: