Welcome back to THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, your weekly rocket ship ride through the most infuriated regions of the college football galaxy. Last week, this page focused exclusively on Ohio State, because that was the only logical choice. This week, we’re taking a journey around a small handful of furious fanbases on the internet.
Texas lost to Oklahoma State, knocking the Longhorns out of the top 10.
Though they remain in the thick of a chaotic Big 12 race, it’s a disappointing moment for Tom Herman’s bunch. Said one Longhorn fan afterward:
I don’t want to watch football anymore
That was the title of a message board thread. This was the profound body:
And there you have it.
A former Texas linebacker got into a fast-escalating online beef with a current Texas cornerback, who’d been suspended for the first quarter.
Ex-Horn Emmanuel Acho initially defended the suspended Kris Boyd, because Texas sitting down a starting cornerback had the side effect of helping OSU get lots of yards:
I understand all the, “teach your players a lesson” tweets, but YALL understand, if Saban benched players everytime they violated team or American laws, Bama might not have a single national title.— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018
But then Acho — who’s now an ESPN analyst — got rougher.
And then he used the “trash” word ...
I can’t watch this dude play defense anymore. It’s actually trash.— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018
If you know. You know. #Texas
... and said he wasn’t talking specifically about Boyd, but, uh:
Naw I feel u, and I didn’t say I was talking about Kris, I would never put nobody on front street like that... but anybody who feels that tweet applies to them should probably step up. I played hella trash games in my day lol. U grow and move on u feel me— Emmanuel Acho (@thEMANacho) October 28, 2018
How’d Boyd respond? Aggressively.
Boyd going straight after Acho on Instagram. Smart. pic.twitter.com/0LuqqMGzl4— Burnt Orange Nation (@BON_SBNation) October 28, 2018
Fortunately for Boyd, INSTAGRAM ASSAULT is not a violation of team rules.
One fan had a spicy take about what should be done to the game’s officiating crew: They should all be handed over to the mob.
The offsides on that 4th down was f%<*¥ing criminal. Somebody send the mafia to threaten the refs to pay these dickheads back for 2015.
Texas fans were livid at the officiating in 2015’s OSU-UT game, when a few apparent officiating errors went against the Horns. Every other Big 12 fan in the universe thought it was deeply ironic to see Texas fans upset about refs.
(Texas actually had a legit beef about that offside call, yeah. Oklahoma State sent a bunch of guys in a “motion” that looked a lot like emulating live play, and refs didn’t call a false start, but instead penalized the Horns for jumping off. The Horns also probably got away with a penalty in their end zone later in the game. Either way, Sicilian crime families must get involved.)
This Horns fan was MAD and only got MADDER when nobody wanted to join in being EXTREMELY MAD.
User TexasHorn started this thread on the team’s 247Sports message board before Texas’ body was even cold, while it was still the second half:
Dan Neil, we have our answer, NO, Texas is not mature enough to handle success
Being destroyed on national television - not sure if the Horns can recover before next week because wvu has a better team than osu
Nobody responded, so they added:
Sorry for being honest - where am I wrong guys, seriously?
Any one thrilled with this performance?
Still, nobody responded, so they added again:
Explain the off sides guys - want to argue the complete joke comment?
So tired or posting without any response - gutless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, someone replied:
We’re playing scared like a bunch of pussies. Coaches and players.
Persistence always pays off.
THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE is usually about fans, but Tom Herman is now the second head coach to make an appearance, thanks to the end of the game.
This is the sort of sprinting velocity that can only be generated by pure anger.
Recap of Tom Herman & Mike Gundy in the late scrap, their postgame handshake and Gundy's interview explanation pic.twitter.com/CMzJpKwzpw— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) October 28, 2018
Herman joins Jeremy Pruitt, who kicked a whiteboard and was thus included by rule:
Washington lost to Cal as a disappointing season became a total failure.
The Huskies are not even making a New Year’s Six bowl in Jake Browning’s senior year, two years after getting to the Playoff with him as a sophomore.
In some corners of the web, faith’s running short in Chris Petersen.
At HardcoreHusky.com, someone started a thread: People you have more faith in than CP, reflecting the fanbase’s growing impatience with Petersen, whose job titles are head coach, Guy Who Won a Million Games at Boise State, and Guy Who Got Washington to the College Football Playoff.
This was the only thing there:
This was another fan’s measured response:
FUCK THSI PROGRUM IM FUCKING OUT
WE SUCK SND SHOULDNT LOSE TO CAL. WE ARE A LOSER PROGRUM. UPPER CAMPUS DGAF ABOUT WINNING. FIRE PEENERMAN. END TNIS FUCKING TEAM.I WANT DONG JAMES BACK. I WANT TO FUCKING WIN. NO JUAN IN THIS FANBASE HAS DTANDARS EXCEPT FOR THOS SITE. YOU GUYS GET ITZ PETERMAM DOES NOT. FUCK EVERYTHING.
Someone urged this poster to say calm:
Stay positive! Fuck Petersen!
But this blunt response to the loss pretty much summed it up:
We lost to cal
Lol I’m done. Fuck Husky football. Fuck Petersen. Fuck Browning. Fuck Haener. Fuck everything. Roll tide.
Maybe that sounds harsh, but UW fans have wanted Bama since early in 2016:
Settle down, Washington pic.twitter.com/4lnFCfcJ4i— College Football by SB Nation (@SBNationCFB) September 3, 2016
Miami lost to Boston College, which means it’s time to look at how Hurricanes fans responded to the team’s official Twitter account in real time.
When Miami loses, checking Twitter’s important, because Canes fans are always the most direct in college football. The classic of this genre:
I’m gonna jump off a building— Heat 3x (@Jbazo5D) September 3, 2018
As Boston College put a thumping on the Canes, fans responded well. Just follow along with various score updates and quarter breaks.
1. After the first Boston College score:
Already with the bs— Howard Webster (@TbearCane17) October 26, 2018
2. After, um, a Miami score:
Right...embarrassing.— Carlos Marante (@ItsACanesThing5) October 27, 2018
3. After another BC score:
Is this a retweet?— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 26, 2018
4. End of the first quarter!
5. After some ostensibly good news?
Way to look at the bright side.— Brandon English (@BEnglish007) October 27, 2018
6. After an actual good play:
Throw the ball in front of the receiver and it could've been 6— Christopher Gray (@Barclayallday26) October 27, 2018
7. After a touchdown by Miami:
How on Gods green earth do you have a -5 yard punt return, inside the 10-yard line, with not one but TWO blocks in the back on the return? That's piss poor— Tucker McFall (@RealTuckMcFall) October 27, 2018
8. After a defensive stop by Miami:
We must be trying to run the clock out....ridiculous— umcane (@umcane26) October 27, 2018
Yes a dogfight with BC! Proud day for the Canes.— Bryant Jensen (@Bjensen630) October 27, 2018
10. After another good play by Miami’s defense:
BC knows our QB can’t hit the side of a barn further than ten yards so they playing up on the line— solidlifefitness (@solidlifefitnes) October 27, 2018
11. A little later:
This guy is worse than Jacory Harris— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018
12. Things getting desperate:
Get Jimmy Johnson out of retirement— John Bennett (@DirtyBirdz19) October 27, 2018
13. The Turnover Chain is out! This is good for Miami!
This is the most remedial offense I've ever seen— The Bad Hombre (@jbjammin34) October 27, 2018
14. End of the third quarter!
Social Media dude.. let Coach know Malik ain't it. Thanks boss.— Joey Inza (@JoeyInza) October 27, 2018
15. Game over.
Joke.— Nick Alvarez (@NicksTake22) October 27, 2018
I’ve said it before, but Miami fans are the overprotective relative who will roast you all day but threaten to burn down the house of anyone else who criticizes you.
I respect and fear them in equal measure.
Ultimately, it was best to just step away.
Florida lost to Georgia, ending the Gators’ dreams of winning the SEC East.
Gators fans were actually pretty reasonable about it. I don’t have jokes. I’m just making the note here so that you know I was as disappointed to learn this as you were. I checked.
In all kinds of weather, y'all, and go Gators pic.twitter.com/jTaaNcXnvS— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) October 27, 2018
And TCU lost to Kansas, thus earning automatic inclusion as the last team on this list.
Things are dark in Fort Worth.
For the first time I am embarrassed to wear my TCU gear in public.
The last spot in this list is now just tradition, devoted to any team that might lose to Kansas in a given week.
In Week 3, a Rutgers fan asked after losing to KU: “What stage of grief are you in?”
They have grinded me down into not caring about college football at all just like the Knicks and the Mets have done in basketball and baseball respectively. In a way it’s good. I can enjoy my kids without having to give a hoot about the scores on Saturdays.
Before that, in Week 2, a fan of the MAC’s Central Michigan wrote this:
I know I’ll hear a lot of the usual “it’s too soon in the season” and “MAC play hasn’t even started”, but I’ve been a die-hard supporter of the football program and I EXPECT us to compete against the power teams every year. There’s no reason that we can’t be like Boise State or better. We need to strive to be better and we shouldn’t settle for mediocracy.
Again, that was a MAC fan distraught about losing to a Big 12 team.
Congrats to the Horned Frogs and their fans on joining this prestigious club.