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THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, Bama fans are in utter despair after their 24-point win

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Your weekly tour of the most distraught fans in college football internet parks in Tuscaloosa.

Mississippi State v Alabama Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Welcome back to THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, your weekly limousine ride down the angriest boulevards of the college football internet.

Most weeks, this feature focuses on infuriated, conspiratorial fans of teams that have lost games — whether that’s just one set of fans or a handful. But Week 11 had no earth-shattering results, except for one team that badly disappointed its fan base: No. 1 Alabama, which only won 24-0 against ranked Mississippi State and looked slightly clunky in doing it.

In all likelihood, we’re not getting another chance this year to poke fun at sad Alabama fans. Around these parts, we believing in seizing the opportunity, so let’s do it:

What’s wrong with future Heisman-winning QB Tua Tagovailoa?

Like, what if he’s emotionally ruined?

Is Tua playing scared? Is he playing emotionally hurt?

We all started noticing the change in play after the first time his knee was hurt. It just happened to come at a time when the defenses started ramping up. Passes high, scared to run.... but then once the game got going you could see him relax, and zone in

But yesterday, he wasn’t smiling. Didn’t look happy. I saw it early in the first half. No celebrating really after the TDs. Very serious during the game.

That (to me)’s one of three things

1. Physical pain

2. Feels let down by the team (maybe a lack of concern re injury)

3. Fear that he is letting the team down.

Jalen not being there may be playing a role in this. Not sure.

But his face told a different story yesterday.

Yeah, he’s maybe a little bit dinged up. After the game, Saban said, “I think he’s fine.” And he’d better be, because if Alabama’s star QB sits out a game, the Tide might have to use their other star QB.

More worries:

We’re not beating Georgia, ND, Clemson, Michigan, or any other playoff team with a 50% Tua and I’m not even sure he’s 50%.

He’s missing 15 yd slant passes for fricks sake. The kid needs to heal.

Embarrassing (for maybe the best QB in the country, which Alabama has).

And the stakes are huge, because if Bama doesn’t win the SEC, it’s also well established that the Playoff committee definitely will not let the Tide into the top four:

I get it but Alabama is not going to the playoffs if they lose to Georgia either or an unranked Auburn team at home.


What if Tagovailoa and Nick Saban are somehow in cahoots, and the “injury” to the QB’s “knee” is really a cover for something deeper?

Beginning to wonder about Tua and Coach Saban

I am beginning to believe there is more to Tua’s knee injury than he and Coach Saban have been stating publicly. Someone whose knee is “fine” does not repeatedly respond the way Tua has been responding.

“I’m not going to make excuses for Tua,” one poster responded. “I don’t think the knee is affecting his accuracy much.”

Agreed. It’s time for the country’s No. 2 QB in passer rating to take responsibility for his play.

Does Tagovailoa just not have the “personality” to lead?

We have to consider the possibility:

Offensive focus - and lack thereof

Something needs to be done about the lapses of focus this offense has every game.

They come out ready to play, get up by a couple of scores, and then lose their intensity & start making mistakes. Actually, they lost focus the first drive against LSU.

I kind of think it’s due to Tua’s personality. Kind of like how the offense would seem lackadaisical with Jalen a good bit of the time due to his personality. I think Tua may not have the focus he needs to play well with a big lead.

The first reply to this concern about an offense that usually scores a touchdown within the first two minutes:

Good god.

This demands further exploration, anyway.

Is the problem that Tagovailoa is from Hawaii?

One fan wrote:

The problem yesterday was obvious. Tua can’t handle cold weather. I mean, after all, he’s from Hawaii. When the temperature gets below 70, he’s just not effective.

Is that sarcastic? I mean, maybe. I’d be inclined to say yes. But this thing was from last year ...

... and despite the internet swearing it was a joke, it doesn’t seem like it was.

So you tell me. We’re all sort of in no-man’s land out here on the internet.

Can Tagovailoa even still win the Heisman?

Tua may have lost the Heisman last night

Saban has never risked a championship or a players health for a trophy before so I expect him to sit out this week. He may even sit vs the barn since Jalen should be ready to go. Kyler Murrays stats were already comparable. If Tua sits and he leads OU to beat WV 2 weeks in a row I think he takes the trophy.

His year had such promise, too.

And what on Earth was Alabama doing on its last drive, when — up 24 — it turned the ball over on downs at the Mississippi State 1?

How do we not punch that last drive in?

Beyond frustrating. The kickers last week and the OL/OC this week...Leaving points on the field...

The play call was brutal. Why would Alabama’s blue-chip running game try to run up the middle?

Pathetic.....Obvious call lol...

Everybody knew Damien was going up the middle...

Absolutely lazy and trash effort....

People offered these two answers for the failure to score and win 31-0 instead of 24-0:

  • “One hand is tied behind your back in that situation. They FLAT KNEW we weren’t passing.”
  • “And our best run blocker was on the sideline.”

But I’m not satisfied.

Another poster started a message board thread that said “Miss St gave CF blueprint on how to beat Bama,” but a moderator deleted the body to only read, “Try again.”

Why do the football gods hate Alabama so much?

At least the kicking game was good. But a commenter at Roll Bama Roll pointed out:

Why do the football gods hate us?

In order to make field goals we must have a gimpy legged QB

These poor people.

Going forward, will Bama have trouble with 3-5 FCS team The Citadel?

The Tide mildly struggled with one triple-option team three years ago, so:

Citadel Wishbone

Saban mentioned after the game that we next play Citadel’s wishbone offense. The last time I recall we played a wishbone was against Georgia Southern, and our poor defensive performance in that game lead to Saban’s comment about “ s*#% thru a goose”. I especially don’t like having to do a prep that is so totally different from Auburn’s offense. Anyone know if CItadel is any good with their version of the wishbone?

Then, will Bama have trouble with four-loss Auburn?


Embarrassing performance by Bama offense tonight

The Iron Bowl will be a very tight contest. Just watch.

And Auburn looks so good these days, so:

Now the Iron Bowl worries me a little

The barn has a defense just as good as Miss State. Tua’s knee just isn’t right either. Darn it.

Someone countered with this point:

Can’t be one dimensional and beat Bama. Iron Bowl will be over by halftime.

But that was quickly addressed:

Not without Tua. He’s borderline not being able to walk.

Fortunately, the Bama offense may have an answer on the way in 2019.

Someone smartly asked Sunday afternoon:

“Could Bobby Petrino be our next analyst?”

A better question: Is there any way he isn’t?