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I REALLY WISH THE NUMBERS ON OREGON’S NEW JERSEYS WERE BIGGER

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PRETTY HARD TO TELL WHICH PLAYER IS WHICH.

The Oregon Ducks unveiled their n—

Excuse me. I need to slip into a more appropriate font for the occasion.

THE OREGON DUCKS UNVEILED THEIR NEW NIKE UNIFORMS FOR 2018, AND THEY’RE CERTAINLY NEW OREGON UNIFORMS. THE PROGRAM THAT FIRST BROUGHT YOU 16 MILLION DIFFERENT COMBINATIONS AND INCREASINGLY TIRESOME GIMMICKS (I STILL LIKE THE LEWIS AND CLARK ONE AND THE ACTUAL MALLARDS ONE) IS SORT OF STAYING BASIC, WITH ONLY FOUR COMBOS THIS YEAR, BUT ALL OF THEM FEATURING ABSOLUTELY IMMENSE JERSEY NUMBERS.

NIKE EXPLAINS WHAT’S GOING ON HERE, ALBEIT VIA AN INSUFFICIENT FONT SIZE:

For years, Oregon has been ahead of the curve nationally when it comes to uniform innovations, employing alternate colors, flashy designs and an array of helmets from matte black to – for the first time by a college program -- chrome. Similarly, the UO offense was one of the first to embrace the up-tempo spread approach that came to dominate college football.

The Ducks continue to zig while others zag; on the field, Cristobal wants to pair Oregon’s speed and explosiveness with punishing, physical play from a mammoth offensive line. Nike looked to amplify that philosophy with uniforms that exude strength and dominance through clean, bold reliance on solid colors.

PEOPLE THINK THESE UNIFORMS LOOK GOOD, SO THAT’S NICE. IT WILL BE VERY EASY TO TELL PLAYERS APART FROM SPACE.

BUT MAYBE THESE NUMBERS COULD STILL BE BIGGER. LEMME TRY SOMETHING.

THAT’S BETTER.