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Tiger Woods’ caddie paid an idiot heckler $25 to go away

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Here’s a case of a person being so stupid that he actually benefited financially.

Tiger Woods is one of the biggest draws in the history of sports. At any tournament he plays, the majority of fans on the grounds are following him. Most are Tiger supporters, some are indifferently curious and just want to watch a legend, and a sprinkling have come to hate-watch.

Occasionally, the hate will commingle with a certain brand of stupidity to produce an idiot cocktail that is the Tiger Woods heckler. Tiger’s caddie, Joe LaCava, relayed a story of one such idiot at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational in Akron two weeks ago. A Tiger heckler can really stick out these days. It is the consensus opinion, even among those who aren’t Tiger fans, that this comeback is truly something special to watch and enjoy.

So this guy really stood out on that Sunday final round in Akron and LaCava, as he told ESPN Radio on Wednesday, paid the guy to simply get the hell out of there.

“I said, ‘Hey listen bud, why do you gotta go there? Everyone is having a good time, everyone is pulling for Tiger.’” LaCava told ESPN’s Golic and Wingo show. “‘If you don’t like the guy, that’s one thing. But you don’t need to be yelling at my guy and screaming negative stuff like that.’”

LaCava said this occurred in Sunday’s final round on the 14th hole at Firestone. When confronted, hecklers usually turtle up, get quiet, and slink off. But this guy was not some store-bought idiot. He was a custom-made idiot and popped back at “Joey,” as Tiger affectionally refers to his looper. More from the ESPN interview:

“So he calls me a couple names and I go back and forth with the guy. And I said, ‘Why don’t you just leave?’”

And he goes, ‘Well, if you give me $25 for the ticket that I bought today, I’ll leave.’”

And I said, ‘Here you go. Here’s $25.’”

That should have been it! You’ve been singled out and embarrassed. You’ve been paid cash money to go away. Now, be off!

But again, it appears we were dealing with some custom-built idiocy so well-made and resolute in stupidity that the guy thought he could pocket the money and keep following Tiger. More from LaCava:

“So I ripped off $25 and he starts to go down the fairway to the 14th green. And I said, ‘Look, pal, 25 is 25. You got to head the other way.’”

“So he starts to head the other way, goes 20 yards down the line, and he calls me a certain other swear word. So I run 20 yards back the other way. We’re going face-to-face with this guy and all of a sudden Tiger is looking for a yardage and I’m in it with this guy 20 yards down the line.”

LaCava finished the story by saying a cop intervened and removed the heckler so he could get back to his caddying duties and give Tiger his yardage. But not before he got an ovation from the non-idiots in the gallery.

The Tiger Woods fan account, TWSpot, shared the story on Instagram and a citizen journalist emerged with an eyewitness account. The eyewitness corroborated Joey’s detail about chasing after the guy when he cursed back at him after he’d already been paid. He also said the heckler got close to Tiger, within five to seven feet, and at one point offered a dollar for a golf ball between many other obnoxious utterances.

And then a photo of the heckler with Joey handing over the $25 was sent to and shared by TWSpot. Your imagination could not conjure and no casting director could find a more on-the-nose image of a heckler.

That’s a $20 bill and that’s a $5 bill. As a Northeast Ohio native, I feel well-suited to hazard a few guesses as to where the money went. Here are five options:

  • A new lawn chair
  • Two new pairs of adidas shorts from Costco (the route I, as a dad, would go)
  • Into a fund for a Baker Mayfield color-rush jersey
  • His usual Sunday night Papa John’s order
  • Poster board, markers, and other materials for the next day’s Support Urban Meyer rally

Please don’t be an idiot and heckle golfers. And please don’t think this is some sort of business plan. Not all caddies are as nice as Joey. Take your $25 windfall and go eat your crappy pizza. No one ever do this again.