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Bryce Harper annoyed at loss of his Opening Day jersey, clowns are horrible

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The story in brief: The Nationals took Bryce Harper's Opening Day jersey and auctioned it. Harper wasn't exactly thrilled about this. Apparently Harper wanted a keepsake from his first Opening Day. You can't blame him for being a little ticked, and passive-aggressively tweeting out his displeasure.

My idea was to put together a selection of all the tweets of people saying "Clown auction, bro." Except:

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Whoa. Come on, Internet. I needed you just then.

But worse than the dearth of irresistible, obvious jokes is what the absence led me to: A Google search for "clown auction."

First:

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How is this possible? The news broke an hour ago, at least. Not one person? Maybe the syntax was wrong, and I just needed to search for "clown auction."

Do not do this.

You've been warned. And terrified. Clown Google search, bro? Nope. Can't recommend it.