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Dodgers-D'backs brawl in two easy lessons

Stephen Dunn

If you haven't already seen it, here's what is likely to be the wildest brawl of this season:

If you haven't already read it, here's what is likely to be the funniest thing written about the wildest brawl of this season.

But Grant touched just briefly on a couple of things that I'd like to explore in greater detail.

1. Ian Kennedy must die.
No, of course not literally die. But a super-long suspension's in order. It's not in Major League Baseball's power to suspend him for a month or something, because of precedent and stuff. But if Kennedy doesn't miss two starts, I mean really hit the first-place Diamondbacks where it hurts, then something's wrong with the system. Because he basically beaned the Dodgers' two most exciting players in the head, at least one of them purely out of spite.

Kennedy denies that, of course. But doesn't it seem a little strange when a pitcher with pretty good control leads the National League in hit batters for two seasons running? That's Ian Kennedy. And I don't really care if he says he needs to pitch inside to win. There's just no call for that sort of pitching, intentional or otherwise.

2. It was '80s Night at Dodger Stadium.
But they didn't tell the fans beforehand, so the ladies weren't wearing leg-warmers and the fellas weren't sporting polo shirts with stupid alligators on them. Listening to Vin Scully call the brawl was like riding in a time machine, though, as these names all came up in the space of about three minutes:

Don Mattingly!
Matt Williams!
Mark McGwire!
Kirk Gibson!
Alan Trammell!
Don Baylor!

and I'm pretty sure Chuck Crim was running around in there, too. Which might not mean anything to you, but Crim led the American League in mound appearances for two seasons running. That's Chuck Crim.

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