The New Orleans Pelicans now have a mascot! Unfortunately, a) it doesn't look like a pelican b) it looks more like, as Seth Rosenthal described it, a murderous, syphilitic version of the Cluck-U-Chicken.
Introducing your new mascot Pierre the Pelican! pic.twitter.com/CieVTs3sMt— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) October 31, 2013
It's the scariest thing in the world, aptly unveiled the day before Halloween. And they unveiled it in the scariest way possible:
"Where should we take the Pelican's picture?" "How about the darkest recesses of the stadium WHERE NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM?" "Perfect!"— Pelican Adam Jacobi (@Adam_Jacobi) October 31, 2013
(Note: Adam's twitter name was not that at the start of the evening.)
Luckily, we're on the internet. And the internet had a damn field day, making the Pelican even scarier somehow (via @talkhoops)
before you die you see the thing pic.twitter.com/3eis02vmVH— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) October 31, 2013
it's not from this planet. pic.twitter.com/T1AAJ0FkkU— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) October 31, 2013
Some quality GIFs via @Nick_pants
And somehow, the Hornets took even more horrifying pictures of the monster:
HOWS THIS ONE?!? pic.twitter.com/UMk35xyHQi— Derek Kevra (@dkevra) October 31, 2013
Here’s a photo of Pierre the Pelican shooting a (t-shirt) gun. You’re welcome. pic.twitter.com/c5y6T6DSBH— Brett (@thecajunboy) October 31, 2013
Of course, this led to more photoshops:
Music was never the same again. pic.twitter.com/ktKnz7XUXs— Kam Pashai (@KamPashai) October 31, 2013
Pierre even made it to the World Series!
you knew this was coming… pic.twitter.com/vlOqbaFTyM— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) October 31, 2013
OH NO, IT'S GOT ADAM
But eventually, he retired where all terrifying clown murder birds go when they get old: Miami.
We're so, so scared of you, Pierre.