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Here are the Nets-Heat nickname jersey game full rosters

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LeBron James was obviously going to be King James for nickname jersey night. But now we know that Mason Plumlee will be wearing a jersey that says "Plums," and Roger Mason Jr. one that says "MoneyMase."

So, we've known for a while that the Nets and Heat would play a game with nickname jerseys. And we've been making jokes about it for a while.

However, one thing became clear. While some players -- LeBron, Kevin Garnett, even less important players like Chris Andersen etc. -- have obvious, well-known nicknames, the teams were going to have some players with no well-known nickname.

So what were the teams to do? Were they going to include nicknames for the stars, but just have regular jerseys for everybody else?

Well, word slowly trickled out, and we were slowly given more and more details and pictures. However, it took until a little bit before tonight's tipoff before we got the full jersey lineup for every team.

Here's the full nickname rundown for each squad, and our take on the nickname chosen:

LeBron James - King James

Okay, that's, like, for real his nickname.

Ray Allen - J. Shuttlesworth

J? Are we going to get Jesus Shuttlesworth confused with the various other Shuttlesworths? From what we can tell, there aren't any on the Heat. And if there were, it's nickname night, so they should write something else on the jersey. For what it's worth, the only other Shuttlesworth in the movie was named "Jake." So, also J.

Mario Chalmers - Rio

Actual nickname, but, we would've gone for "Super Mario" or "Superintendent." Also: Spanish for "river!"

Dwyane Wade - D. Wade

that's just your name

that's your name with an initial

that's just your name

that's your real name

you wear that every night

what happened to "Flash?"

Chris Bosh - CB

I mean, he obviously wasn't going to wear "Boshtrich." So we're okay with this:


Udonis Haslem - UD

Wait, is Udonis Haslem's uniform number an elaborate joke based on the British 80's reggae-pop band UB40? Because, well, don't do that.

Michael Beasley - B-Easy

Again, just his actual nickname and that is okay and cool. That said:

Norris Cole - Cole Train

We would've bet anything he would've gone with COLE WORLD. We're okay with this, though.


Shane Battier - Battle

Shane had previously said he wanted "Batman" (before being told Warner Bros. had the rights) and "Shaneo." Nobody calls him "Battle."

Roger Mason Jr. - MoneyMase

hahahahahahahsadhk;sd the idea of anybody having a nickname for Roger Mason Jr. cracks me up. Especially one related to him being "money." how u

Chris Andersen - Birdman

Obvi. This night was basically made for Birdman, who lives his nickname more than anybody ever.

Rashard Lewis - Sweet Lew

Jacking Lou Piniella's style!

Greg Oden - G.O.

It makes me happy that they made him a jersey.

Joel Anthony - Doc's similarity scores say Joel Anthony and Julius Erving are basically the same person. I would've given anything for him to go with "Joe L."

James Jones - JJ

Joe Johnson is also wearing JJ. WE GET IT. YOU HAVE INITIALS.

And the Nets:

Andray Blatche - Dray Live

First of all, he didn't go with "BALTCHE," which is a disappointment.

Second of all, DRAY LIVE? BE HONEST. NOBODY HAS EVER CALLED YOU THIS. (This is a theme for the Nets.)

Andrei Kirilenko - Кириленко

To be honest: this is our favorite one. We were worried he'd just write AK so it would say "AK-47," but going native language is awesome.

Although, to be fair, this isn't really a nickname so much as, you know, his name in Russian.

Alan Anderson - Double

Would've gone like JJ, but "AA" is sort of a thing that is a bad nickname.

Brook Lopez - Brooklyn


We get that it's cute with the team name. This is notable:

We were hoping for something superhero-themed.

Deron Williams - D-Will

/climbs to top of mountain /gets huge horn /yells into it


Jason Terry - JET

Perhaps as much as Birdman, someone who lives through their nickname. /runs around the court pretending to be a plane

Joe Johnson - JJ

/climbs to top of mountain right next to the one we just climbed to for Deron /gets bigger horn /yells even louder into it BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRINGNGGGNGNGNGNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

You fool. You could've been the armadillo cowboy.

Kevin Garnett - The Big Ticket

actual nickname

Mason Plumlee - Plums



Mirza Teletovic - MT3

Mirza came down to the wire on this one:

That was just Thursday.

First of all: TELETUBBY.

Second of all: your number is 33. And it's already on your jersey. So your jersey will say "MT3 33."

Paul Pierce - Truth

actual nickname

Reggie Evans - Joker

VERY MUCH NOT AN ACTUAL NICKNAME. There is nothing funny about Reggie Evans. There is something diabolical/villainous about Reggie Evans, but not in like an intriguing, let's-get-Heath-Ledger-to-play-this-maniac way. More in like an "ewww, Reggie Evans" way.

Shaun Livingston - S Dot

Shoutout to former Nets semi-owner Jay-Z's shoe line?

Tyshawn Taylor -- Tee_Y

Yes, that's an underscore.

An underscore.


Tornike Shengelia -- Tokomotiv


The Euros brought it. Except you, Mirza.