NBA 2K15 scanned my dog better than my face

The latest addition to the NBA 2K franchise released Tuesday in North America with NBA 2K15 gracing store shelves. It's an incredibly lifelike reproduction of basketball, but one new feature is anything but. SBNation.com believes in scientific pursuits, so we put the Xbox One edition of the game through its paces.

The process to get your face in the game is fraught with difficulties. When prompted you're asked to position your face inside a box, wait for it to turn green, then slowly turn left and right for a complete scan. At the end it maps out the points on the model, presumably being more accurate the more points of data it has loaded in.

A dog - IT SCANNED

Pepper is a good dog. A very good dog. She lived a tough life until my wife and I rescued the now 10-year-old chihuahua who was seized in the raid of a puppy mill. Sure she's missing some teeth and is afraid of strangers, but I thought she was ready for the NBA.

It look five scans to get Pepper in the game. She moved around a little too much and NBA 2K15 had issues plotting her face. This example boasted 1,613 points of data.

A bobblehead - DID NOT SCAN

This Jordan Staal bobblehead is always on my desk. Given it has depth and human features I was sure it would scan. After 20 minutes of adjusting the lighting the Kinect camera finally recognized Jordan's face.

Eagerly I waited for the result and ... nothing. The game crashed, kicking me back to the Xbox One home screen and needing to start again. I gave up.

An onion - DID NOT SCAN

Maybe there was something in the game's wizardry that meant only organic items to scan. Rummaging around the pantry I found a hapless onion. Scanning the onion by itself didn't work. So I drew a face on it -- still nothing.

Using my Jack-O-Lantern skills I carved a face, drew with red Sharpie to give definition and finally spray painted the onion light brown. The result: One ruined Sharpie, too much inhaled spray paint and no scan.

Stuffed animal - DID NOT SCAN

This probably wasn't human enough, but it was worth a try.

Photo of a human - DID NOT SCAN

The picture for a brief second was picked up by the camera, but utterly failed when it came to to turn the head left and right. There was nothing I could do to make this shampoo ad work.

William Shakespeare finger puppet - DID NOT SCAN

I don't remember where this came from, but no luck for the bard.

Me - I SCANNED

I'm jealous of my dog. This had more than 4,000 points of data and was considered a "great scan."

We're not the only ones having problems. Owen Good of Polygon had to give up his quest to scan his face, while others have seen horror shows of their own. Having good light is a must, according to 2K Sports.